I had about a half-hour to kill before going into the city tonight (for a Carolina Morehead Scholar function - ah, the benefits of marrying someone with good grades) so I turned to the blogosphere for a little catching-up with the family and friends, and I suddenly realized: where the hell are all of you?
Okay, Bud has a fabulous blog. Most of my family has one (at least Kent and Sean and Michelle and my nephew Sean Patrick). As for the rest of you, what the hell are you doing not telling me every detail of your life? Don't tell me you're too busy - Mac Rogers has one, and he is a loan officer by day and a busy playwright by night. Don't say you fear commitment - Todd Walker and David Ball take long breaks between entries. And don't tell me your life isn't interesting enough. If that were true, we wouldn't be friends.
Salem, you run a restaurant in the mountains of Georgia. Where's your blog? Tod, you have been involved in the making of some of the best movies of the last decade. Where's your blog? Nell, your life is crazy and awesome. Annie, you're too far away for us not to have your nightly bon mots. Jiffer, don't make me pull over and stop this car. Where are all of your blogs?!?
It's really easy - just go to blogspot or blogger or Salon or livejournal and pound away. Worried about what to write? Shit, that part's easy. When in doubt, just say what you did that day, and try to work it into a frothy rant about society's ills.
For instance:
10/7/03
Woke up, had terrible stomach problems. I blame George W. Bush, the blithering, moronic, self-righteous bible-thumping wanker.
It's JUST that easy!
So the next time I come back to this Internet thing, I expect all of you to have your own blog. Anyone caught not having one had better give me a cohesive essay about why "normal human interaction" is better than "reading about your damaged psyche on the web." Because I'm still skeptical.
Posted by at October 7, 2003 11:13 PM