8/3/03 Brooklyn, NY (6 days until wedding)
It is now officially my last week of being single, and both Tessa and I are so caught up in the minutiae of the wedding itself that we may not have any time to reflect on the enormity of what we are doing until we actually climb that hill and exchange vows. But is it all that enormous? In my heart, I have been married to her for some time, our lives are inextricably entwined, and I have no interest in seeing the cootrage of anyone else for anything other than academic purposes. For me, there have been three, perhaps four other days that were much more important, because it marked actual shifts in my character. Saturday will be a giant party for something that has already happened.
I worry that Tessa isn't enjoying this process at all. She is very - and I mean very - involved in every detail of the wedding and I fear it may exhaust her to the point of sickness. Mostly, she can't do anything half-assed, and strives for so much perfection that I hope some of the guests recognize her efforts, even in things that seem obvious (like the barn floor being flat - that wouldn't have happened without her).
But even she is surprisingly able to drop "producer mode" when the moment calls for circumspection and bathing in beauty, so I have faith she'll have nothing but fun this weekend. She and I have been having more arguments than usual of late, which usually means we're getting something much larger out of our system. Or it just means I haven't cleaned out the car; sometimes it's hard to tell the mundane from the metaphor.
Posted by at August 3, 2003 11:31 PM