After a day that was largely frivolous my uncle, dad and stepmom are with us upstate, and we played tennis, painted the pole out front, and set up trellises – the mood turned a little darker over dinner. My uncle is a fascinating character who was on the lam for much of the late '60s and early '70s due to his anti-war machinations in the Bay Area underground. He had been in the air force, and came home with a virulent opposition to Nixon and Vietman that lasts, refreshingly, to this day.
All conversations about America's future turn vaguely cataclysmic when Chuck is in the room, but he has a warm spirituality that tempers the rough edges and makes him a fascinating dinner guest. While I believe my own father, along with Sean, is at heart an optimist I share a despondency about human nature with my uncle. He really doesn't believe we have proven that we belong on this earth, and that the test of radical fundamentalism and religious dogma is one that we are truly failing.
Everyone has a way of dealing with their darkest thoughts: Sean has multi-valent and conflicting passions; Dad has an adventuresome elasticity; Carole a breezy seriousness; Chuck a vaguely apocalyptic Buddhism, and Tessa an openhearted fatalism. I tend to keep myself calm with two things 40mg of Celexa per day, and a firm belief that things are never as bad as you think they are; they might be worse, but they're always more interesting.
Posted by at May 19, 2003 8:23 PM