xtcian

3/20/03 Brooklyn, NY Stayed up

3/20/03 Brooklyn, NY

Stayed up all night putting the finishing touches on today's Ian R. Williams Salon article (check it out, wontchya?), which was a piece that wasn't as much my cup of tea, but is also a nice clip to show that I can do more than pontificate wildly about Mormons. Although if I had my druthers, everything I'd write would be wild pontifications, half-baked truths, sweeping generalizations and theories that break under the weight of their own horseshit, but that's what the blog is for, right?

There were several protests in New York today, especially one in Times Square, but Tessa and I were holed up in the editing booth, trying to finish our movie. I know all the arguments about the need for demonstration, but this country and its leadership – broke my heart over the last year, and frankly, sometimes I think America is too dumb to be worth saving.

Don't get me wrong; I love my friends, I love American technology, and you can't beat the scenery. I'm sure there was some time, perhaps 1986 or so, when I felt unconditional about being an American but after the last three years? Fucking forget about it. I know that the greatest things in life always come with occasional doses of confidence-shattering ambivalence, but perhaps this country has gotten too big to have a soul. When we were kids, our population was 200 million or so; now we have almost 300 million. Somewhere in there, a pre-Cambrian, simian mob took over; a tipping point was reached that has robbed us of the desire to achieve greatness. This country reminds me of Goya's painting of Saturn eating his children, that dead-eyed, tragic stare of a once-great god knowing only the opiate of ghoulish consumption.

I leave you with a picture I took tonight of the one place I still feel very vulnerable in a time of terrorism and war: the middle of the Manhattan Bridge. I know the Brooklyn Bridge is more symbolic, and more people are on the George Washington, but I always floor it across this mutha.

out the front window, Manhattan Bridge, 45 mph, second day of war

Now stop reading this blog, and go read Dave Ball's recounting of the march in San Francisco. I love that he still has the passion to scream "remember non-violence!" at a mob of protestors swarming a phalanx of cops. He's one of the few dudes left in this country who still mean it, and he's a great writer to boot.