xtcian

5/11/02 I don't know if

5/11/02

I don't know if they give out awards to the Dowdiest City in America, but Cambridge would definitely be in the run-off. All the middle-aged women here wear sackcloth browns and grays, loose baggy linen pants, and they all walk around with a humorless earnestness. I mean, I know Harvard is here and all, but it really made me long for the dumbasses in Chapel Hill. I judge a city by two things: the amount of rednecks wearing colorful stirrup pants, and the number of disaffected youths breaking their coccyxii while skateboarding down a stairwell.

Today we walked around Harvard Square, which is about as focus-group tested as a public space gets. There are four coffee places, two corporate record store chains, an Urban Outfitters, a Gap and 45 places to get American bar food. The difference is that all these businesses are crammed into buildings erected in 1673, giving the town the perfect melange of Class and 21st-century convenience. Americans love to consume things that don't surprise them, part of the "ubiquitopia" experience, but they really love thinking they're getting some historical perspective at the same time.

I know the first New World settlers tried out St. Augustine, FL and Roanoke Island, NC first but why did all the permanent settlements take root in places like Boston, where they were guaranteed to freeze their asses off seven months of the year? Was it the mosquitoes or something?

Later in the day, Sam and I went to the local hoops court to give the natives a little what-fer. I think they were a bit chagrined to see an 11-year-old boy walk on the court with only one arm (watching people's first reaction to Sam is fascinating), not knowing whether they should try not to look, or play a little softer, or try not to look as though they're trying not to look.

That lasted for all of twenty seconds before Sam and I challenged them all to a game, and a few minutes later they retired defeated. Sam had a sweet give-and-go that he finished with a reverse no-look swish. If he learns to use his "disability" Tessa said to call it "armlessness" – in a special way, he could really be an interesting kind of point guard down in the paint. He just needs to find out how to use his special body in a way that confuses the hell out of everybody. I want him on my team.

Sam at the Friends School giving his report on bone anomalies