Hi kids, and welcome to Whining About Pop Kulture Korner®! Today we're going to look at a few bits of cultural plankton skirting around the seas of the American conscious!
1. The New Enya Song. I forgot to put the XM Satellite Radio in the car, forcing me to listen to 102.5 THE MIX on proletariat FM radio, and this song – seemingly untitled as all Enya is wont – was in frequent rotation. You gotta give it to someone like Enya, who keeps churning out backrub music year after year, all of it ending up on your local masseuse's CD mix. Personally, I'd rather listen to Enya than those "world music" tapes they put on while they're oiling up. If I hear one more CD of aboriginal instruments set to smooth jazz I'm going to massage myself.
Anyway, I'd like to put out an edict to all those who were thinking about buying Enya's new CD: please, for the love of God, put your money towards the back catalogue of the Cocteau Twins instead. It's what you're really looking for. Nothing is as remotely gorgeous as "Wolf in the Breast" off Heaven or Las Vegas or pretty much anything from Blue Bell Knoll. Start a trend! Be the coolest chick in 7th grade! Nothing says HIP more than a 13-year-old chick wearing an Abercrombie shirt with an iPod playing Milk and Kisses!
2. The New Santana Song. Does Santana know that the beginning of his likely new hit is actually an old, sad Jewish riff lifted straight from "Woman in Love" by Barbra Streisand?
3. Celebrity Playlists at the iTunes Store. They SUCK. More than half of Beyoncé's mix is stuff from Destiny's Child members or her own sister. Hey Avril Lavigne, thanks for putting "Hey Ya!" on your mix. What is this, 2003? Listen to her quote about Alanis Morrissette's "Ironic": "I love how this song was written with all of the different examples Alanis uses of things being ironic... this song is just really good lyrically."
Never mind Alanis has had to apologize, publically, for her butchering of "irony" – but I suppose the real irony is that the last laugh's on us, huh?
4. The Finale of "Sex and the City." I'm going to get in trouble here, because I really do like the writers for this show; they are great gals and fun at parties. But now they have vilified both Brooklyn and North Carolina. When Kristin Davis meets the parents of their surrogate child (a couple from Charlotte, we are told, in horror), they arrive in Manhattan seemingly without any teeth, unsure of what to put on sandwiches, and hair that hasn't been cleansed in weeks.
Now, if they had been from Rutherfordton, or Advance, or from the Tweetsie Railroad snack bar, I could understand it, but Charlotte? Charlotte is just as big, urbane, boring and full of high corporate mall fashion as Atlanta, Orlando or Houston. The blinding, infuriating myopia of these Manhattan-obsessed chicks will be good riddance in my book. As Bernadette Peters said tonight in Gypsy: "The center of New York is New York."
And if there's one thing I can't stand about a fucking TV show, it's cut-aways of characters laughing at other characters. Oh, you zany girls! Then to see Chris Noth and Sarah Jessica Parker laughing, laughing, O! The Laughing! through two entire scenes, was Self Congratulatory to the Highest Extreme. Give me "Curb Your Enthusiasm" any day of the week; at least Larry David writhes in his putrescence like the rest of us.
Posted by irw at February 23, 2004 11:01 PM
Tune in next week when we discuss the R&B lick-you-all-over remake of Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work"! When is Jay-Z going to cover "How Soon is Now?"