xtcian

Michelle -

What's wrong with the great bumper sticker maxim "Think globally, act locally"? I think the Peace Corps is a great organization and I have great respect for those that dedicate their lives to others in such a noble way. That being said, I am trying to picture your life and mindset (based on regular reading of your and your brother's blogs) and the best way for me to do that is to project myself into your situation. Now that I've set the (completely untenable) framework, here's what I think (like you care!):

The Peace Corps seems attractive because it is exotic, it is altruistic, and you know that you would have to make great sacrifices to take on that challenge. You should be able to find other ways to experience the exotic and to act in altruistic ways, so I'll discount those aspects and it appears that the single most attractive thing the Peace Corps offers you* is the opportunity to make a great sacrifice. In thinking about why the sacrifice is appealing I've come up with the following: The great sacrifice would become a life altering experience that would leave you a changed, and presumably, better person. So my question is this: Are you really so unhappy with yourself that you think you need to reach some sort of altuistic nirvana at personal peril? You write eloquently about your friends on both coasts, your wonderful experiences, and your incredible family, so I'm guessing that you still feel like something is missing, that you have a higher calling that you haven't yet met. From personal experience I'd say that it's perfectly normal - it's easy and common to feel insignificant in the great swarm of humanity that surrounds us. For you this feeling is probably even stronger because you were so directly and personally involved in the post-9/11 recovery. My unsolicited advice is that you continue to develop roots in the communit(y/ies?) that you care about and continue following the paths you've already begun exploring.

OK, I'm tired of hearing myself talk, but I have one other contribution...

It's possibly worth exploring whether you have ADD. The fact that both Sean and Ian have ADD almost guarantees that you do as well (according to my Psychiatrist it's one of the most heritable traits studied - only slightly below height.) The constant changing of jobs and need to shake up life is a common attribute of ADDers. It need not be a big deal and might no t require any medication or treatment whatsoever, but if you do have ADD, it might help you better understand the source of your impulses. I was diagnosed as ADD last November and understanding what that means has almost completely changed how I see the world and clarified my own understanding of myself.

Good Luck!

I think there's something very noble about joining the Peace Corps, but at least half of the people I know who did it don't believe they accomplished much of anything in their two years. I'm thinking of the people who get a "development" type assignment, like my friends who went to Togo and the Philippines. My friend who was a teacher in New Guinea did feel like he made a difference, and I suppose the same would be true if you worked in health care. For development work, though, from what I've heard, it seems to me the PC offers you very little help, and your task is to cook up something from scratch--you become a one-person international aid organisation, with all the prospects for success that that entails. If you're an entrepreneur you can get grants and assistance from NGOs in the area, but after you leave, whatever you've managed to build is likely to disintegrate. Actually, I don't know that the results and job satisfaction are very different for people who work for the UN. Nevermind. I just wandered around the developing world for a year not helping anybody. That wasn't so much fun either.

For me - no brainer. Go to Africa. If you are seriously into wine, food and sensation, then dropping yourself in to a situation where you are deprived and must adapt is great. Come back and go to Napa if you still want to. 31 is ten years younger than 41 and it would still make sense then. You can die at home in bed anywhere.

Amen. i think the key to any service is not even really what difference *you* make, but how the experience makes you different.

i always tell people who come to work in any ministry i am overseeing that they are not there to *help*, they are there to serve. it is a huge difference, and it is understood mostly by the result - that everyone involved is changed, in ways that often cannot be predicted.

you don't have to go to africa to do this, of course. but those little nudging voices often mean something, in my experience.

Greg- thanks for your thoughts. I have to say, though, that the appeal of Peace Corps is not "sacrifice". That is the word a friend here keeps using and it simply is not part of the reason I want to go. I will be making a great sacrifice, yes- I will be leaving an incredibly good situation. But it is so many other things: experiencing an entirely different culture first-hand; learning how most of the world really live; meeting people and trying to help people who I would have never met; doing something that has meaning to me; and so many other things.

To my knowledge, I do not share the ADD traits with my brothers. I have moved so much because that is what I have learned to do, from the time I was born. I have switched jobs so much because I have so many different passions. I am in the best place of my life and yet the calling to do this will not leave me alone.

I am only 31, and will have recently turned 34 when I get home. It's only two years. Okay, well, 27 months. And yes, I could come back here. And there is a chance that what I want to *do* with this life of mine might be more clear.

Greetings from Amman- where I am currently sipping on some mint tea in front of the computer at the UNICEF offices here.

As a former RPCV from RIM (that'd be Returned Peace Corps Volunteer from the Republique Islamique de Mauritanie)I thought I would weigh in on the subject. First, its true life expectancy is only 43 due to a high infant mortality/morbidity rate; however, in regards to their agriculture, they also grow peanuts, rice, dates, groundnuts and, in the 'cold' season they have relatively thriving vegetable gardens which produce cabbage, potatoes, onions, eggplant, lettuce and tomatoes. And the houses are not made of poop - they are made of cow and horse shit, straw, earth and water. That said, some of the architecture of these poop houses is quite a thing to behold. And they are cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter - without electricity. Very environmentally friendly.

In terms of your call to serve, Michelle, it is true: you can do it anywhere. And it is true, most volunteers are 1-3 years out of undergrad. My motives were far from altruistic. I was drawn because I wanted to be in Africa but had no money. During the first 6 months, I had to talk myself out of going home every single day. The only thing that held me was pride.
That said - I would do it all over again in a second.
In my opinion, Peace Corps is not a development agency. It is an exchange program. The focus is on cultural exchange and the staff is concerned with volunteers' well-being. Some volunteers actually also did ammaaazing work. Others got high every day and read War and Peace 8 times during their two years of service. The thing about Peace Corps is- it will give you an insight into the culture unlike any you will possibly get in any other way. As a backpacker, you do not have access to small village communities, you will not learn the language and you will never experience the (sometimes, admittedly, extremely mundane) day-to-day. As my UNC anthro professor, James Peacock, said, "People don't realize it yet, but anthropology can save the world. Cultural understanding is the key." Brilliant man.
Anyway, I could go on but I won't. But one more thing...
I'm in Jordan as part of my studies, a project with unicef here, following up on a youth survey they did a year ago. We are looking at issues of gender awareness among adolescent boys and intergenerational dialogue among adolescent girls. Yesterday we held a workshop on Action Research methodology for development professionals, counselors and university students. One of the most rewarding moments came at the end of the day when one of the university students, an Algerian woman, approached me to say thank you. 'What I will take away from this training,' she said, 'is more than action research. You've challenged many stereotypes that I had about Americans. You've really changed my perspective.'
And that (cue the violins) is what Peace Corps is mainly about. And it shouldn't be underestimated.
Jordanians, Algerians, Mauritians... are some of the kindest, most generous, most hospitable people I have ever had the priveledge of knowing. Islam is a tolerant, humanitarian, deeply spiritual religion that I have great respect for. Extremists are a minority, like Christians targeting abortion clinics.
Michelle will stick out wherever she goes, blond or not. Our culture is as evident as our hair color.
Mauritania, though it is admittedly, 'the worst place to get sent,' in PC, is an experience that would be incredibly enriching. It is, as everything else, what you make of it.
M'ashallah, alhamduliallah.

See? I TOLD you they live in huts made of poop.