xtcian

put a fine point on it

4/9/04

The Voyager space modules sent out in the 1970s included a phonograph with human voices, pictures of various cultures, a DNA double-helix, and all sorts of obvious clues for aliens that happen to stumble upon the spacecraft. I, too, am going to clear up a few things around here for any future beings stumbling upon this blog.

My name is Ian. My middle name is Richard, which is also my Dad's name. My mom is Linda, and my brothers are Kent, Steve, Sean, and my sister is Michelle. I am 36 years old.

I am married to Tessa, who is 34. We have no children yet, but we're talking about thinking about changing that. Tessa is really fantastic. We met when she was 18 and I was 20, although we didn't start dating until she was 31 and I was 33. We have a dog, Chopin, who is 14 and crochety.

We live in Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York. We also have a little place upstate with a barn. The barn has a basketball court. I grow pumpkins and Tessa grows annuals and perennials. We like to fill the house up with fast-talking liberals, and the place has become a think tank for rowdy progressives. I like peeing outside.

We make a living as writers and journalists. I wrote a couple of non-fiction books that were modest hits, but that was a long time ago. Tessa made a movie about her dad that was on the short list for the documentary Oscar®, but that was a while ago too. Together, we made a boisterous college comedy, and we're desperately trying to finish the last technical hurdle. We have chosen a very frustrating profession.

Right now, we find ourselves in Los Angeles because a large network thinks we might be onto some good sitcom ideas. We are living next to the ocean because the last time I lived here, I was landlocked in Hollywood and became suicidal.

We drive a Prius. It is pretty swell. It gets 45-48 miles per gallon. That may seem like a tiny amount to you guys in the future, but right now, it's considered magical. Tessa uses a cell phone that is also a Palm Pilot. I carry around both. I just discovered that wool socks are much cooler, even in the summer. Because they "wick moisture." I imagine all fabrics will wick moisture in the future.

We all live under the reign of a very bad man. You know how bad he is because you've read the history books, but just imagine living in a time when he is actually your president. It is as crappy as you think.

I am wearing a T-shirt that says "Carolina" and boxer shorts that have watermelons on them. Carolina has only won three NCAA championships at this moment. There will be three more by the time you read this, but lemme tellya, the wait is awful.

Well, that's all from me in the past. I'm still young and my 3-point shot is still dropping. Tessa is very pretty and trained for the marathon last year. I'm on medication for depression and gout, but we are having fun and happy with one another. Still waiting to see if a kid ruins all that.

your host,
ian