4/15/04
It is 2:57am, and I just finished reading fifteen TV pilot scripts that will be shown on the major networks in the near future. My brain has turned into milk-logged Wheat Chex. But I can tell you the following things:
1. Dysfunctional families sure are dysfunctional.
2. Everybody always thinks somebody is gay.
3. Dad knows best except that he never does.
4. You just don't get it, do you?
5. Everyone in the world is formerly rich and needs a desk job.
6. The football captain has a dark, sensitive side you'll never understand.
7. Why am I always jumping to conclusions?
8. That wasn't my blood – it was HIS.
9. If you look like you know what you're doing, you do.
10. Mom doesn't play favorites, but you aren't one of them.
Gee, they all sound like such original ideas- I may have to run out and buy Tivo in time for the 2004/2005 season. ;)
I think you forgot "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house.' "
Those meddling kids.Makes "Ghost Chimp, MD" sound even better.
Speaking of which, judging by TV, everyone is either a cop, lawyer, doctor, or trying to get a job working for Donald Trump.
If Hugh Hefner can manage to read a teleprompter with more aplomb than Trump, Fox should consider him for the next mogul to go hiring; "Bunny-to-Be" would likely be a fresh, less superficial approach to reality TV.
Otherwise, I'm thinking of catchphrases that rhyme with 'you're fired' as jump-offs for the next big telly-thing:
-you're tired (a show for narcoleptics)
-you're wired (a show for insomniacs)
-you're sired (a dark comedy in search of its birth parents)
-you're mired (a show about junk mail)
-you're choired (a big musical extravaganza)Apply sunscreen often and liberally.
Thanks for the lunch time laugh collin - those are some cute ideas! I like the sleep theme, I used to joke that if sleeping were an olympic event i'd take the gold... then we had a child.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-Fred Allen