4/22/04
We just had the last performance of "Naked TV" before the Fox Executive and Celebrity Night shindig tomorrow night, and I've been subtly trying to calm my actors down and not freak them out before the Powers That Be come to judge them. I don't know why so much importance has been placed on this one performance (out of sixteen), since our future could be equally determined by some silent, powerful creature slipping into one of the other nights. But everyone's casts, not just mine, has worked themselves up into a fine froth, so maybe that energy will be channeled positively.
I mean, what else can I think? Not much either Geoff or I can do about it now. We wrote and directed it, but the show belongs to them now. It is pretty exciting – I'm getting the old charge we used to have in high school, the stomach-fluttering thrill of adolescent kids putting on a show.
By the way, we replaced the old Joan of Arc lactating line with the following:
CARLA: Stu, what's that you keep writing in your notebook?
STU (handing it to her): It's a list of things I didn't know.
CARLA (reading): "Roaches explode in the microwave." "Lake Titicaca is a real lake." Yes, that's true. "'On the rag' has nothing to do with housecleaning'."
Stu buries his head in his hands.
It kills, I tellsya! It kills!
Best of luck to you! I think your new joke will get a lot of laughs.
Good luck tomorrow!
Uh, you said tittycaca.
(audience hoots and howls)...around here that's a breastfeeding baby who's jumping and dumping her diaper.
Have a great time (is it tonight now?) and good luck. Thanks for making a "Carla" character! I know it wasn't inspired by me. I'm just happy that there's a Carla character out there that isn't mentally retarded or a stripper.
Carla on Cheers is one of the best characters ever!
Love the new line, very FOX. In the meantime, you've got a cast to deal with, time to go Roy Williams on their collective ass.
eg: Dadgummit people, it's like y'all think you invented acting, but if y'all don't get your heads in the game, we'd get booed off the stage of Alamance Community College. I mean the script is good, but 'ol Ian just ain't all that - either y'all are a team or it's time for me to go golfing.or something like that
You know, I recently had to explain to my fiancee that having a "gang bang" didn't mean throwing a party. She'd say it all the time.
I should have kept her in the dark.