xtcian

blindness escapes me

6/14/04

Ten years ago, I was living on a farm outside Chapel Hill, NC with my beloved friends Annie and Greg. One cold afternoon, Ann said she wanted to go hiking on our property, so I agreed. Curiously, I took my contact lenses out and put on glasses, which is something I NEVER used to do during the day (childhood psychoses, etc., but I'll get to that some other time).

During our hike, a sharpened branch stuck out of a tree, and I saw it too late – it hit the center of my left eyepiece, and threw my glasses to the ground. I was sure then, as now, that I would have been blinded in that eye if I hadn't uncharacteristically donned glasses a few minutes before. What's more, I heard a voice say "That was the first time. You will be tested twice more." And I believed it.

Two years ago I was stapling insulation to the underside of the house upstate. The staple gun was designed by Swedes or something, so it was hard to tell which end was which. I guessed incorrectly, and it sent a staple right under my eyeball, only a half-inch away. "Number two," the voice in my head said.

Today, I was roto-tilling the garden, which is incredibly hard, loud and dangerous, especially when you're doing it with a 6hp beast that looks like a villain from an early Superman comic. After tilling about 1600 square feet, I was exhausted, sweat pouring all over, barely able to stand up. I took off my Carolina hat, removed my sunglasses, and tried to wipe my forehead.

Stuck in my glove was a thistle-covered stick, and as I went to my brow, it stabbed me just below the right eyelid. As blood went down my face, I shouted "NUMBER THREE!" did a little dance, and happily chucked the stick into the cow pasture.