June 15, 2004
you nip, I'll tuck
6/15/04
One of the ways to get yourself noticed in Hollywood is to write a "spec" script, which I believe stands for "speculation," "speculative" or "speculum"- but I'm not sure which. The idea is that you pick a show on television that is most like the show you want to work on, and write your own episode containing the established characters.
Sounds easy, right? Except that unless you have some sort of insider knowledge, you don't know the current gossip, and you can end up writing a spec script that nobody will want to read. For instance, let me impart this wisdom to you about this television season:
1. Agents are glutted with "Six Feet Under" scripts right now and are tired of reading them. Having seen the first episode of the current season, it seems to me they might take a look at some of them anyway.
2. Last year, there were a bunch of comedy pilots written around the premise of a cooking show, but after Emeril's ill-fated project, all of them died. This year, the theme everyone keeps seeing is the "formerly rich kid" comedy.
3. Last month, this one guy got a great gig after writing a spec script for M*A*S*H, a show that has not been on the air for 21 years.
In that light, I joked with my cast that I was going to write a "Webster" spec, and sometimes a bold, stupid move like that is just what you need. My wife and I, however, decided to go with a current Fox comedy (try to guess which one) and we're now choosing a drama just so the bases are covered.
So I put it to you, blogosphere: have you ever seen "Nip/Tuck," "The Shield" or "Joan of Arcadia"? And if so, whaddya think?
I'm really going out on a limb admitting this, so I hope you appreciate it: I like Joan of Arcadia.
I too enjoy Joan of Arcadia. I think the acting is good, the concept is just odd enough to keep you wondering "Where's God now?", and there is character development that keeps me interested to tune into the next episode. Plus, I think it is a good family show, esp. for teens & parents of teens.
Nip/Tuck pushes the envelope and gets away with about as much as you can for a regular cable channel. Its something you probably could have a lot of fun with. FYI one of the assistant producers is Carolina '94 (a roommate of mine jr year).
hi ian and tessa, welcome back east! "the shield" is one of the few shows i watch pretty intensely. First of all, the plot and the relationships are terribly complicated--to sort out all the gang warfare on the show would be more difficult than figuring out all the family relationships in "100 Years of Solitude." There are some "unsung" heroes too: Claudette and Dutch--the closer these two get to uncovering scandals brought on by their officemates (vic's strike team or juan aceveda, the big boss), the better the show becomes. On the series finale last night, Claudette (the awesome CCH POUNDER) was given a big blow: aceveda, whose job had been offered to claudette because he'd been recently elected into politics, told Claudette that his job would not be hers anymore, because she'd been snooping around investigating a D.A. with a drug prob. who'd put a lot of innocent people behind bars. All i know is Claudette is gonna be one pissed off cookie next season on a mad quest for justice, and Dutch (another wonderful actor, i don't remember his name though) is at least gonna get really close to bringing Vic's strike team down.
Also: I HATE (and probably other viewers do too) Shane and his meely-mouthed, apparently pregnant wife, Maura. I especially hate Maura. She's a whining, manipulative thief and something bad needs to happen to her. Shane is on Vic's strike team and has caused a huge rift there because of Maura, who first stole money from the strike team's illegal till, and then clocked Tevan, a new srike team member, over the head with a frying pan while he was brawling with Shane, putting him in intensive care.
this show is super-duper violent, bloody and profane.
I'm embarrassed i watch it so regularly, and that i wrote so much about it here on your blog, i now feel like a big introverted nerd who likes violence...but the writing and the acting are a cut above other shows. This is a good one to write a spec for, good luck, hilary
Isn't there a problem with writing an spec of "The Shield", in that there are long story arcs? With the other two shows, each episode is more of a stand-alone.
The idea with a "Shield" spec is to pick a place somewhere in the series where you could have a semi-stand-alone plot. You're right, though, even with a "Joan" you're dealing with story arcs.
That said, it's only a spec, and anyone reading it inherently understands its limitations.
Hey Hilary, great review! I almost feel like I can delve into this season now, although it's only available illegally over Bit Torrent. And Garrity, you're a dork.
G'Day,
I think that writing a spec script for a current show is a waste of time when you have great ideas of your own to work with. Now, you might not feel you have the connections to pitch a whole series just yet, and that's understandable. So take the M*A*S*H* guy's idea one step further and write a faux-spec script for a show that only exists in your head.
And yes, mate, I *am* talking about "Ghost Chimp, M.D."
Be bold--the world is a shrimp and you're the barbie.
Murdoch, I hope you weren't trying to more subtly suggest that he write an episode of the A-Team with that signature. How's he supposed to explain how to build a van with some cloth and barbed wire in the woods?
Ian! I am compelled to communicate through your blog for the first time (since I have no clue where you are or when you're coming back!) I ask you - nay, BEG you - no more Shields. You guys could write the h*ll out of a Nip/Tuck or a Joan - though Joan is a soft spec which is often, if liked, followed by a request for something else original. I say cut out the middle man and do N/T - it'll let you both showcase your talent for comedy and drama, give you great characters for whom to write, and allow you traverse the back corners of your minds to come up with some twisted stories - which is always a plus. There's my 2 cents - have I given them before?
Ladies and gentlemen, Jen Chambers! TV junior exec extraordinaire! Jen led us through the misty, booby-trapped paths of Hollywood this year.
You should do a guest blog, Jen - everyone could write in their questions about current TV and you could answer them. You know, in a way that doesn't compromise your job!
I would love to...except now that you told them all where I work, I may be innundated with questions about The S___ and W______ and other unexplainable things! But, since you made me Google-able, I'll do anything you want. Not that I know anything, of course... :)
Hey - look north young man. Half of Law and ORder plots are ripped off from crimes in Canada that never make your news. So why don't you rip off the plots of CBC "comedies" from the '70's - the King of Kenstington or Beachcombers. Or how about a new version of "This is the Law" where panelists try to guess which municipal by-law from somewhere in Canada is being infringed after watching short silent movies setting out the facts. Or how about a new "Front Page Challenge" where figures from the news from 8 to 17 years ago answer "yes" or "no" to blindfolded panelists' twenty-question style questions. Panelists, baby - think of panels of three middle aged guys all from Manitoba wearing tweed thinking out loud. Gold. Use Guess Who songs from their troubled later period for the musical soundtrack.
"how to build a van with some cloth and barbed wire in the woods"
No, I think that's one of the more involved McGuyver episodes. And besides, they've already got a van, remember?
For that real A-Team feel, the improvised machine has to blow shit up, or at least break things. A self propelled artillery piece or at least a trebuchet with an explosive payload.
They come across a crusty old hermit miner who also has a beef with the bad guys. He just *happens* to have some old TNT in a shoebox under his shack in the woods...
Damn, I wish I'd written "trebuchet with fire crackers and gasoline." It's a funnier contrast.
Hey, how about merging two discontinued shows for your spec, like "A-Team Meets McGuyver" Some shady foriegn foe could hire the A-Team to whack McGuyver. They face off with improvised aresenals.
Then the wry twist! McGuyver would have to win, cuz he rarely kills anyone and the A-Team has no inhibitions there. He discusses things with his "detainees" for a bit, everyone wises up, then they JOIN FORCES to beat shady furriner. Fool!
It practically writes itself.
why do these punks even need you to write one of these jive spec thangs...? didn't they see you recent shows in LA? if that's not good enough for them then i don't know what...
1. Nip/Tuck -- I watched the first 4 or 5 episodes, and it had some really great writing and acting. The kid who plays the married surgeon's son is going to be huge -- not only does he look like a young benicio del toro, but he's a good actor.
Second season didn't grab me. Sometimes shows are great because they don't know what they are yet, and sometimes the opposite. this may be one of the former.
2. The Shield is well written, exquisitely acted, and gets points for having a morally ambiguous protagonist. It doesn't grab me though, for some reason. CCH Pounder is amazing, though. CCH Pounder plays angry in a way that's physically frightening when she's barely moving a muscle.
3. Joan of Arcadia is another show that was better before Amber Tamblyn became a teen idol and they started focusing the show on her acting cute. The early episodes were darker and challenged her more as an actress.
Quiet, Lindsay! Don't blare out my ace in the hole!
Some guy already put it in a comic last year:http://comics.toonzone.net/solicitations/2003-06/vertigo.php
I should just go ahead, get some 25-year-old Scotch, rent a room in Seattle and WRITE the damn thing. To be fair, it was co-created by Greg Humphreys of Dillon Fence and Hobex fame. I encourage anyone to go to either a Hobex or DF show and shout out "Ghost Chimp M.D!" between songs, and see the reaction you get.