July 15, 2004

outed!

7/15/04

There's a fascinating test on the Slate website today that calculates your "red" or "blue" status in America. You won't understand the rest of this blog unless you go there and take the test yourself.

Go ahead. We'll wait.

Anyone reading this blog for more than a week knows that I am perhaps the most irrational "blue state" liberal in America – I have been more than forthcoming about how much I despise George Bush and the litter of morons that voted for him. So it came as a pretty big surprise that the test landed me squarely in the "red."

First off, I think this test penalizes you for knowing too much. Having spent the first part of my life in Iowa, I know what the Quad Cities are. Having spent the second part of my life in North Carolina, I know what Dale Earnhardt's NASCAR number was. And having smooched on Jiffer, I know where Door County is. All three of those gave me tons of points in the "red" category, but the fact is, mostly I just keep my ear to the ground.

I'd be interested to know how Chip does on the test, because he knows everything. When we played College Bowl (basically a trumped-up geekfest at college, a la Jeopardy) he used to ring in before the question was asked and say "Zachary Taylor" and be right. But neither Chip nor I have any more affinity for Bush because we know that many people express their displeasure with Jeff Gordon by having a decal of Calvin pissing on the number "24".

I confess I didn't know what "The Ivy" was either, so I suppose I've never eaten there – but I did know that Indiana State is not in the Big 12 because I'm a college hoops fan.

Shit, am I a closet Republican? I knew not to wear white pantyhose, does that count for ANYTHING?

Posted by irw at July 15, 2004 11:13 PM
Comments
Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 16, 2004 05:50 AM

Very interesting! I was labeled "right in the middle."

Posted by: cathie at July 16, 2004 05:57 AM

i was right in the middle, too. i guess it's cause i know all the answers to the bible questions...

Posted by: Bud at July 16, 2004 06:11 AM

I'm "looking a little red."

Having lived in NC almost my whole life, though, how could I *not* know all that stuff?

I think our results prove only that anyone from anywhere can be politically intelligent--provided they use their brains. A quiz on attitudes would be much more informative.

By the way, have y'all ever hired someone to walk Chopes?

Posted by: scruggs at July 16, 2004 06:17 AM

Don't put a W sticker on your car just yet. I agree, the more you know the worse you look. Yeah, I admit I know (not like) a Toby Keith song, or more. Hell, I live in GA. But the better question would have been: Is Toby Keith: A) a redneck moron with 2nd grade level, antagonistic lyrics (exhibit A "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue") or B) the second coming of Francis Scott Key, who's Star Spangled Banner should be replaced by "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue." That might have been more telling.

I finished clearly in the red, though not close to the end. I did cheat on the "dinner and supper" question, knowing if my all of my family refers to meals as such, it had to be "Red." But I stopped saying "supper" years ago. And, not being up to speed on broadway, I lucked out on Avenue Q, as it premiered at the theatre where our friend is managing director.

Basically, this meant as much to me as your garden variety Cosmo quiz, "Are you a tease?" et. al.

Posted by: Annie at July 16, 2004 07:25 AM

I, too, landed up right in the middle--expecting to be blue (that can be our Broadway musical: "Expecting to Be Blue" by Ian Williams, starring Sean Williams, Jordana Davis, Michelle Williams, and that zany world-record-setting trivia-show winner, Chip "Chris" Chapman!) I lived my first 18 years in NC, then 4 years in NYC, 1 year in Calcutta, India, 4 years in Chapel Hill, 1 year in San Francisco, then the last 5 years back in Chapel Hill. I feel I should be more blue. I am entitled to blueness. I believe white pantyhose may be worn with a short kilt and motorcycle boots. Where does that leave me?

I have something else--actually a couple of things--to tell everybody on the blog: first of all, last Saturday I went to the rally for Kerry & Edwards in Raleigh (because, among other obvious reasons for going, my brother's band Hobex played--way to go Greg!) and as if that weren't enough to make my week, when they were bringing the VIPs to their seats onstage, who was seen standing sweatily next to Erskine Bowles but our own Coach Smith! And best of all, when he walked onto the stage the whole audience cheered! They couldn't help themselves! Now THAT'S what I call "blue."

Posted by: Laurie at July 16, 2004 07:31 AM

I'm happy to say that I landed way down on the blue end. But I think this too only goes to prove that the more you know the more red you are on this scale. I don't know shit about almost anything outside my beautiful blue Manhattan world. I seem to be a perfect example of closed-minded, opinionated blueness. I think that's what they're measuring here: knowledge of the opponent.

Posted by: Laurie at July 16, 2004 08:34 AM

And, yes, darling Ian, it means EVERYTHING to me that you knew that white stockings shouldn't be worn!

Posted by: Tanya at July 16, 2004 08:36 AM

I fell into the "purple: due to extreme laziness" end. My problem was two-fold: Not only did I NOT know the answers to an embarrassing amount of questions, I also got frustrated and cross-eyed trying to click on the bubble and scroll back down to the question. If I lived in Florida in 2000, I probably would've also left a hanging chad. So...to hell with it all.

I was encouraged to read Annie's note that one of my top 10 favorite people on the planet - Coach Smith - was at the rally. I've heard he's starting to lose his, um, "edge" lately. Nice to see him out and about.

Posted by: Piglet at July 16, 2004 09:16 AM

It's officially biased. I went back and took it a second time, making sure all questions with one right answer were factually correct (and assuming I don't want to permanently own ANY DVDs on their list). I'm still red. I was red the first time, too. Seems to me they had more red than blue questions.

And since the midwest is more blue than red (only Indiana and the thinly populated prairie states consistently vote Republican for President), I don't get why knowing your midwest geography would make you Red. They should have asked about Dixie and the Upper Rockies. Same with the Bible questions. I'm sure the REVEREND Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton would be surprised to see those "red" indicators. It seems to me that not knowing the 8th Commandment is a characteristic of the modern Republican.

Posted by: jon at July 16, 2004 10:30 AM

Yeah, the closer you examine the construction of this quiz, the more half-assed it becomes. I think we'd all agree the Pacific Coast is pretty blue, but how many questions had anything to do with California? (None, I think.) Or for that matter, how many had anything to do with Boston? (Again, none, I think.) And Michigan votes pretty Democratic. And the U.P. is a nature lover's paradise. And nature lovers tend to vote Blue. And heck, Iowa can be pretty "Blue" too when it comes to funding things like education, so what do the Quad Cities have to do with anything? Almost ALL the "blue" questions revolved around NYC. Clearly a quiz constructed by a smug New Yorker who don't get out much but still considers himself King of the World just by virtue of his New Yorkness. Which brings me to my real point. We'd ALL be better off, Blues and Reds alike, if we traveled more and met people along the way, and not just within our comfort zones. New Yorkers, instead of that trip to L.A. or Paris or Orlando, take a vacation to Kentucky; Kentuckians, blow off that trip to Gatlinburg and visit New York City. Just once in a while. And go to dinner somewhere besides TGI Friday's while you're there.

All that said though, I like the IDEA of this quiz -- making the point that your (pop) cultural experiences DO tend to influence how you think about things...

Posted by: Chuck B. at July 16, 2004 12:48 PM

I don't think the quiz "penalizes" you for knowing too much; it just moves you more to the middle. Smart Red State people probably know the difference between a condo and a co-op or know what "Avenue Q" is, but that doesn't make them any less conservative. It would move them toward the middle in this quiz, though. So the more you know, the more in the middle you are. The dumber you are, the more toward one extreme or the other you are (in this quiz at least). It would be neat if that were a good metaphor for life, but I would argue that the smart ones drift more into the blue.

Posted by: Salem at July 17, 2004 07:19 AM

My poor geography and sports knowledge landed me in the pink. But I am glad this brought up the issue of panty hose. Not only do I object to panty hose of any color, but furthermore I claim that panty hose has created more disappointment and sorrow than all the collective actions of our current administration.

Posted by: Hilary Howard at July 17, 2004 07:53 AM

i found this test elitist and infuriating. it reminds me of the whole SAT controversy--you know, how the SAT is skewed toward the upper middle classes...i felt the same way about this stupid thing. I found the questions insulting. I was a light carolina blue by the way, because i know how to eat my brisket with white bread, damn it, and nobody can take that away from me!

Posted by: David Ball at July 17, 2004 12:54 PM

Wow--Hey Chuck B. and Hilary.

I was in the middle, and I agree with the other comments. I also think the idea of your experiences definitely molding you has its limitations. My Dad was president of the Baptist Student Union for four years at LSU and was ROTC during that time ('57-'61). He has a gay son and a son who isn't Christian and thinks GW Bush is a deserting (in the sense of his service records getting "accidentally" lost) dumbass. DB

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