12/2/04
A few more answers about our pregnancy experience. First off, I don't plan on keeping a baby blog, or perhaps even a blog at all when this thing happens. Nothing is more devastatingly boring to me than the precious coo-cooing over your baby's first solid poopy, and I'm not psyched to post a relentless cavalcade of pictures of a creature that looks more like cake batter than a human.
Other people can do that just fine - shit, Dooce puts a picture of Leta up every other day, and she gets 475 comments. A baby is like your night dreams - fascinating to you, but stupefyingly dull to everyone else when recounted in detail (unless you're a good writer, which Dooce is), so don't nobody worry about that shit. GregTH said I was "one bad hair day away" from quitting this blog thing, but if the first eighteen months are as hard as they say, then these entries will blow green donkey chunks. And I'd take paternity leave.
In the meantime, to answer Laurie, we had the amnio to check for any chromosomal abnormalities, but we have been steadfast in not knowing the sex of the baby. I guess that seems a little twee, but I always thought one of the coolest moments you can have is the doctor saying "It's a [fill in gender here]!" Tessa felt the same way, so it was a nice confluence. I suspected it might be difficult to keep the nurses from blurting it out during an ultrasound, but they've been mum (and thus used to gay-ass prospective parents like us).
We also have a few names knocking around, but again, we'd like to meet the baby first before we go defining it. Lindsay and Dana already refer to their peanut by name, which is cool, but I dunno, I'd feel like I was being presumptuous. Speaking of "peanut," that's what we call it - and so did Josie in the comments yesterday! I always thought Josie was a cool cat (and she can scoop the hell out of a cone of butter pecan - at least she did in 1985).
Thanks for all the well wishes and emails; I've forwarded them all to Tessa, who thinks everyone is being very sweet. I hope you don't mind if I occasionally ask questions about strategies and supplies. Already, the incomparable Ms. Cummings is making me a HipHugger with a Tar Heel logo! How awesome is that!?!
Posted by irw at December 2, 2004 11:16 PMafter not checking your blog for a few days...
1. OMIGOD!! congratulations to you and tessa. brilliant news, well done!
P.S. i suspect your devoted blog following will enjoy baby-themed posts as much as we do your pop culture reminiscences, star-fucking, political diatribes, and so on. you're never boring, dude!
Hey man, don't you dare hold back on photos of Peanut Blake Williams! I am looking forward to seeing photos of Peanut more so than any B-list celebrity you can find! Even if you don't want to coo-coo over Peanut's Poops, I would love to see a regular photo of Peanut. Besides, I just gotta know if Peanut has that red hair of your's -- my money says "yes."
Kudos to you both for your self-control about wanting to wait until the baby is born to see if it is a girl or boy. Not twee at all.
I have but one piece of advice for you. Once you decide on a name, DON'T TELL ANYONE UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN. If you must, tell strangers on the street, but don't tell your family and friends. Inevitably, people will feel free to weigh-in on your name choice (which in my mind is one of the most personal decisions you can make) and will feel free to tell you that they can't stand the name you picked, they like other names more, blah blah blah. Perhaps your friends and family are more reserved than mine (I am from Jersey after all), but hey, that's my advice. For instance, if your heart is set on naming your baby Apple Williams and you tell everyone, "We are naming our baby Apple Williams", and they all say "Don't you dare!" and you say "We love that name" and they say, "That name is ridiculous, she will be doomed" and you say, "but our heart is set on Apple, and now you made my wife cry". . . . you get the picture. Just avoid that whole scene completely.
Case in point: We decided to name our daughter Helen Kathleen. My 2 grandmothers were named Helen, and my mother-in-law is named Helen. My mom is named Kathleen. We loved the name and wanted to honor both sides of the family. We were so excited about our name choice, and we wanted it to be a big secret. We were brimming with love and family history! So, the day she was born, all 4 grandparents gathered into the hospital room. Tim and I proudly said, "We would like you to meet our daughter, Helen Kathleen." All 4 grandparents looked horrified. My mother-in-law, who is from Iowa and never said a negative thing to anyone in her life said, "But you are not going to call her that, are you??? You can't call her that!!!" My mom said, "Laurie, I can't believe you did that! It is a nice gesture, but why saddle her with an old lady name?? No one names their baby Helen these days! I told you that we liked the name Amanda!"
That kind of Norman Rockwell moment just warms your heart, doesn't it? Sorry for such a long comment, I just had to get my point across. Please, heed my advice.
I laughed when I read what Laurie said about being mute on the name -- I totally agree! When my daughter was born she didn't suit what my husband and I had picked, and got a last minute name change to the "back up name" parents and family didn't know about. When my mother met her granchild Taylor-Marie she said "Taylor!!! But that's a boys name; a last name! Not to worry dear, you can change it after the drugs have worn off".
(Now, my name is both a boys name and surname, so perhaps she had regrets, but I don't)My Miss Taylor is now 2 1/2 and has a personality to match her strong name, as any child somehow grows into their own. Congrats, from PEI.
No blog at all? Even a morsel? At least throw us a few crumbs! Sniff. I don't care if it's once every two weeks and it blows donkey chunks. How can I go without at least an occasional screed on pop culture or right-wingers or pumpkins? OK, I'll find a way.
Laurie, I like the name Helen. Anyway, here's the Social Security Administration's list of fave baby names by year - you can even request it by state. Faskinatin':
Ian, you do realize that your due date of April 2nd is the same day as the semi-final games for the 2005 NCAA Basketball Final Four, right?? This could be some sort of grand Tar Heel omen! A new "Williams" will be born around this time will three unrelated Williamses possibly battle for their first National Championship. If the Heels win and you have your baby on April 4th or later (the day of the Championship game), might I suggest the following names:
Boy: Marvin, Jawad or Roy.
Girl: Marvina, Jawadette or Royela.
Does that mean in that quiet private singular moment when the non-birthing parent gets their hands on the birth registration form as the other recovers there is a chance that this child might be named "William/Willhamina Tar Heel Williams"?
Laurie, we are naming our soon to be born daughter Elina Katherine, quite close to yours!
Ian, you'll be blogging trust us! Just like a baby snake full of venom, about 3 times a fortnight :-)
This always happens to me. I read your blog at the crack of dawn, and then later in the day when I have had some coffee and am coherent. I just read CL's response. . . what, no blogging after Peanut is born? How did I miss that? What kind of nonsense talk is this? You HAVE to continue blogging! You don't have to do it on a 5 day/week basis, but don't up and leave us now! Not while I am still on Lexapro and working at my mundane Insurance Job! You must keep it real for all of us who read your blog back in the day before you went and became a daddy.
Believe me, you'll be blogging after April Fool's Day, 2005. If for no other reason than to get some desperate advice from your readers who are parents already. I happen to be an expert on how to handle chronic ear infections and post-toilet training bouts of constipation. I have a feeling I will be hearing from you. . .
Hi Ian - I have been enjoying your blog since the election - my sister sent me the Coastopia link. It got me through some bad days back in November!!
Congratulations to you and Tessa on the happy news. I agree that people who ramble on and on about every facet of their pregnancy are annoying - but we would like a morsel now and then. You and Tessa already realize what most of those folks don't - that they are not the first people to have ever had a child. But then again there is nothing that beats the excitement of having a kid - especially the first and we will all share your excitement. By the way Tessa looks absolutely beautiful in the way that only a mother to be can! Please send her my congratulations! And my free advice to you Ian is to dote on her like never before!!!!
And bravo on keeping the name quiet. My brother had the best reply to people who asked him what they were going to name their kid - when someone asked he simply replied with the asker's name. It shuts them up quickly.
Enjoy! It is the best time of your life (I am almost 50, and my two children are grown so I can say that with some perspective!!)
Oh, and another thing! Now that I am really awake, I see that you and Tessa know Quinn Cummings. THE Quinn Cummings. THE Quinn Cummings whom I loved and adored as a child. THE Quinn Cummings who I wanted TO TRADE LIVES WITH when I was a kid and saw her in "The Goodbye Girl." THE Quinn Cummings who is specially making YOUR peanut a Tarheels HipHugger. It does not get better than that, my friend! You cannot take this blog away from me, man. Through you, I am (sort of) 2 degrees of separation away from my childhood idol (and Campbell Scott, and Marisa Tomei, etc.) I suppose the final blog goodbye will be a photo of you, Tessa, Chopes, and Peanut with Tom Cruise at your farm. . . . and thus will be the end of my cyber brush with celebrity greatness.
Ugh. Enough ranting for the day. Back to my Insurance Job. I better start working before I get dooced.
As much as I couldn't stand, before kid, how conversations with parent friends tilted towards kid things, it is so hard now not to do the same thing. So be warned, there is this gravitational pull to move from current events or Carolina bball to the pros and cons of different high chairs in a heartbeat. It is difficult to avoid talking about what takes up 24hours of your day. So I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up not only blogging about your baby’s first solid poopy, but delighting in telling us the diameter, color, and weight as well! But I'll be here to read it!
P.S. Belated congrats to your friends Lindsay and Dana as well. I had only met Dana a few times when I was hanging out with a Chi Psi, but she was always really cool. Though I didn’t know Lindsay, I’ve recently learned he may have had a small, indirect & unknowing role in me eventually meeting my husband, Don. A roommate of mine in college knew him (Lindsay) and first met Don in Old East when visiting him. She later introduced me to Don. Actually, that was right after I had dated that Chi Psi. So, thanks.
I think Jawadette is the greatest name ever. I'm going to run that by Tessa.
And I'm not threatening to quit the blog, I'm just not sure what it is like to be a new parent, and my standards for writing my bullshit in here is pretty high. That sounds very precious, don't it?
Also, there's going to be the natural paranoia that sets in when you have a young'un to protect, and there are a lot of crazy assholes on the internet (see the Coastopia comments for proof).
Helen is a GORGEOUS name, and one of my favorites. There was a girl in my prep school named Helen on whom I had an intense crush (she went to Carolina too). And yes, Quinn is extremely talented.
Scruggs, which Chi Psi were you dating?
mucho congrats - the fatherhood thing is tremendous. I've got tons of Tar Heels stuff that the boys have outgrown - I'll have to send some down when the time comes.
As to names:
Roy Williams
Dean Smith Williams
Roy Marvin Jawad Donald Shammond Williams
of couse I didn't read the other comments first on the Heel names...
My older boy is thrilled that Rashad made the cover of SI - his favorite pictures are the last two on the page:
http://www.theheadwaters.com/andrew/april03/deandome.htmLiam was also born during March madness - I had a deal with Kristen not to go into labor on Thursday-Sunday and she came through. At 3 days old, I was able to hold Liam up and show him the brilliance of Eddie Cota. He won't remember it, but can always say he saw Cota in Heel uniform.
Aren't all of you sweet, complimenting our name choice! We love her name, and we can't imagine her as anything but Helen. She loves to tell people that she was named after 4 special women in our family.
One of the good things about picking a name that is not popular is that she is the only Helen in her class. There are 4 girls in her class with the same name, and 3 boys with the same name. Actually, Helen is the only Helen in the entire school, except for the old lady music teacher! Go figure!
Glad to hear that you won't bail on your blog just yet!
Well, I am soooooo glad you're are finally joining me on this side of fatherhood dude! can't wait... Johanna is ready for baby sitting...Of course you know know why i'm rooting for 4/2/05...you guys rock. See you next week.
sometimes when i get insomnia, i just sort of click around on my computer, listen to music, read this and that and google things that i've been meaning to google. tonight, i googled my name and apart from the horrible picture of me from my work's website and references to my alter ego of a sunken fishing vessel in east sussex, england, i came across the comment made by "andy" on dec 2 on name suggestions for your babytobe.
i have to say i'm pretty astonished that he thought to suggest that because as far as i know, i'm the only royela to be googled in the u.s. if you have a girl and name her royela, she should be happy to know that she's only the second documented. i will warn you however, that with this name, comes all manner of long term consequences. in my nearly 23 years of life, i have been called: roy rogers, crayola, royela deville (a la cruella deville), royroy, roysmella, and biv (a la roy-g-biv). i didn't mind biv too much but to this day, i have a hard time eating at roy rogers and will choose anything but if given a choice.
but, of course, roye and ella are the more innocuous nicknames so that's not so bad.
reactions to the name are also always interesting. i've heard "cute," "interesting," "unique," "pretty," "ghetto," "cool," "royela? are you hispanic?," (even though i am very much korean and kim is hardly a hispanic surname) and my all time fave, "is yo daddy black" to name a few. it's often misspelled royeLLa and in introductions, people, in search of a name they are more familiar with or maybe i just mumble think your name is rayela, rowella, brianna, and even yolanda and a visual of the spelling is usually required to alleviate the confusion - the double "L", however, is really my personal pet peeve.
i hope this gives you a little insight and education into naming your baby. royela or otherwise, i think babynaming is a big deal. i truly believe that i wouldn't be the person i am today, have the personality that i do, if i were born a jane or mary.
congratulations :o)