xtcian

every good boy does fine

12/15/04

Hey, guess what we got for an outrageously inexpensive deal on Craigslist?

That's right, a Steinway baby grand piano!!!

I wanted to take the picture naked, like Terry Jones in Monty Python, but we had guests and Tessa wouldn't let me.

Anyway, as you're all bored to hear, I took piano lessons for nearly 20 years and violin for almost fifteen, and was - at one point - seriously considering being a professional musician when I grew up.

The time came for me to decide if I'd try to get into Julliard or Eastman or even Oberlin/Carnegie Mellon with a music scholarship, but I knew if I did that, I'd never sleep with a woman as long as I lived. And so I went to Carolina and played in the orchestra, but as Jon and Chip can attest, my attendance was, well, "spotty."

And so began the long decline of my ability to do anything other than be a B-plus guitar player, a B-minus violinist, and a straight C pianist. However, very few people can play any of those things, so I can still impress 'em at parties. Especially the violin, which is an instrument that is so hard to play that very few violinists get through their teenage years without anxiety medication.

At my best, I was auditioning for the Virginia Philharmonic my senior year of high school. At my worst, i.e., now, it would take me six weeks just to get the Bach Double in tune.

But all that's gonna change, now that we have a li'l peanut on the way. That damn kid is going to sit in front of that piano and sacrifice his/her youth like I did. No food until the Löw exercises are perfect. No friends until the Bartok Mikrokosmos is flawless. NO SLEEP UNTIL THE RACHMANINOFF THREE COMES POURING THROUGH THE WALLS. AND NO MORE WIRE COAT HANGERS!