February 1, 2005
what is was, was blogging
2/1/05
When you work in the businesses I frequent - TV, movies, journalism, arc welding - you get awful sick of Ivy League schools being bandied about as a mark of quality. Look, I'm sure Harvard is just fine as a school, and I have plenty of friends from Princeton and Yale that seem to know their way around "Madame Bovary" without the Cliff Notes.
But I'll tell you right now that I am a TOTAL RACIST when it comes to schools, which means, succinctly, that I have an overwhelming preference for human beings that happened to go to the University of North Carolina. Go ahead and insert your "eye rolling," your "teeth gnashing" and even your "plaintive sighs" here right now, but I've been out of college for 15 years and I still have yet to meet a collective group of people with the kind of personality, raw intelligence, humor, preternatural skills and trustworthiness that was indigenous to our population.
Sure, there are individuals from other schools who merit our undying love and attention - UVA and NYU seem to have sprouted a bunch - but my heavens, the people we went to school with at UNC were (and continue to be) abject delights.
I'll show you how much of an asshole I am; I'm even a racist about which YEARS the UNC alums must come from. I'll put the graduating classes of 1986 through 1993 up there with any Algonquin Round Table, Les Six, or any movement of the last century. Include any decade of any Ivy League you want, too. Nothing comes close.
I'd give you a laundry list of people in movies, television, banking, chemistry, Olympic sports, the NBA - but it's late and I'll let you do the research for yourself.
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me, Tessa and Lee Lee
Why do I bring this up? Well, we just had a visit from our very own Lee Anne Coggins, and we got to talking about the hundreds of people we had in common from the early years at Granville to her current stint at the Indy, and I left the conversation staggered, and feeling like I had to get back to work to live up to any promises.
When Tessa and I work in media, the second I hear someone is from Carolina, my heart melts. Sean and Jordana have basically stopped hiring anybody in their shows that didn't go to UNC - and when they do, that person generally ends up betraying them. I used to admonish them, to tell them to hire people outside our sphere to get butts in seats, but now I see they were right all along. Fuck the rest of the world, especially if you want to get something done.
When I worked on 13th-GEN with Neil and Bill, they prognosticated that our generation (born '61-'81) would be full of great artists, awesome novels and lead a revolution in film; we would be excellent raconteurs stemming from our wild childhoods and inbred cynicism.
Oh, how we have fucking failed them. Our generation was sidetracked by the early-90s depression, the money of the dot-com boom, and now the soul-sucking lockstep of the post-9/11 world. Since we have done nothing miraculous, or created any masterpieces, our generation has to find brilliance somewhere, and the only currency anyone's got is their affiliation with the Ivy League.
I'm here to say FUCK THAT. I went to a public university in the middle of the Piedmont of North Carolina, with a roommate that spilled his collection of spittle on my dorm rug. We had a drama department that barely knew we were alive, but we still managed to give the world Billy Crudup, Peyton Reed, Bill Martin and Laurel Holloman. We had a coach that played by all the rules, graduated 97% of his players, and still gave the world Michael Jordan, James Worthy, Antawn Jamison, Rasheed Wallace and Vince Carter. Guess what Sally Krawcheck, David Rees and James K. Polk have in common?
O, rising seniors, filling out your forms and cramming for the SATs! Don't be fooled by the siren song of the Ivy League! I know a place sautéed in vinegar, where you will fall in love, and secretly rule the world. Maybe you can aspire to be as fabulous as the great classes of 1986 through 1993. Come to the Southern Part of Heaven!
and FUCK DOOK!
If God is not a Tar Heel, then why is the sky Carolina blue?
I am proud to say that as a graduate of UNC during the years you mention, I too have accomplished nothing miraculous.
Go Tar Heels.
Vince Carter? Half man, half an undependable, phone-it-in crybaby. The exact opposite of a standup character. You typically wear rose-colored glasses (and rose blinders, to boot) when living Tarheel Bball, which is somewhat admirable, but to mention Vince Carter as fine product of the UNC Bball program is the crack talking. Do we need an intervention? Here's the big test. Michael Jordan a Blue Devil? Still great and classy. Grant Hill a Tarheel? Still great and classy(and gimpy). Vince Carter a Blue Devil? A soft country clubber.
Didn't Dan Cortez go to Carolina? Err, maybe we don't want to mention that.
Did I mention you would hate his guts?
Vince scrambled back to Chapel Hill so that he would not miss his graduation during the playoffs. This graduation occured post multi-million dollar contract. He did not get along with Toronto brass, who continually dangled him as trade bait only to pull VC out of deal(s) at the last minute. Now in New York he has been named NBA player of the week. Cut the guy some slack. Also, isn't there some sort of penalty for mentioning the term "Michael Jordan a Blue Devil."
This Terp alum fell in love with Chapel Hill in the late 90s when I stayed at the Carolina Inn and ate supper at Mama Dip's Kitchen.
Hey, at least Maryland beat Dook!
Michael would never have gone to Duke.
They sucked big time in those days.
and, while I'm on the subject of nature v. nurture:
"And I always remember, that whatever I have done in the past, or may do in the future, Duke University is responsible in one way or another."
-Richard M. Nixon, August 17, 1960
So close but so far away. Though my husband '93 makes the cut, I'm '94 and missing out!...surely we can extend the greatness one more year. If not for me, then for the fact that most of the boys who gave us the bball championship finished up in '94, and our women won that year with a last second miracle shot.
Unfortunately for today's seniors, its HARD HARD HARD to even get a ticket in to Carolina. Admissions gets almost 20k apps. The secret's out!
REP...RE...SENT...!!!
(I want to shout out something like an Alpha's deep "owe-six!" except with UNC '93 in there somehow.)
Whoa - the connections continue to grow. I grew up with Lee Anne Coggins. I have almost as strong of a respect as your UNCism to people who made it out of our hometown and ended up "cool". There are very few.
tessa, how did you score that head scratch?
I'm glad my sister is COOL!! And today is her Birthday.. HBD Lee!! k
As someone who grew up a rabid Demon Deacon (my dad went to WF law school) nurturing the deepest hatred for Carolina, whose fans were the kinds of kids who wrecked their parents' cars and orchestrated events to humiliate powerless dorks, I've been cyclically shocked over the last ten years to have developed first a grudging respect, then a curious interest in, and finally a sincere and unwavering love for the institution of UNC-Chapel Hill.
It all started with Dean Smith, of course. One night, stoned to the bejesuses with my co-workers from Pepper's Pizza, I suddenly actually began to "see" the Carolina-Duke basketball game that we were all watching. In my fervid stoned clarity, I could actually see, as though painted in the air, the opposing philosophies of the two different coaches. Koach K's team played chin to chest, holding their bodies like SS soldiers and forming blockades, arms heavy and menacing, while the UNC team's bodies unfurled into the atmosphere like birds, reaching, risking, taking chances. It was like the Nazi army vs. the Sandinistas or a band of Chiapas rebels.
Nice Andy Griffith reference, Ian. We must never forget the pride of Surry County!
I'm not sure of my status, perhaps you can clarify something for me...
I attended Carolina from 1990 - 1996 and should have graduated in 1993, but got distracted and finished in 1996 instead... Do I get a waiver, or do I have to settle for having attended(sic) class with some of the greatest tar heels ever?
At least my wife (RTVMP '89) makes the cut!
I've been reading the site for quite awhile now, and this posting has prompted me to finally introduce myself.
Hello! I am a fellow UNC alum (although not within your "golden years" era - I was in the class of '99). I even lived in Granville Towers all 4 years, including 1 year as an RA.
I definitely share your love of UNC and Tar Heel basketball (National title this year?), and numerous political ideas.
In short, I really enjoy reading your blog (one of the few I try to keep up with) and you seem like a really cool guy.
Anyway, hope all is well with you. Keep up the good work!
-Scott
PS I love Coastopia! My wife bought me one of the shirts for my birthday.
We may live in Lexington, KY (clearly a red state, much to my dismay), but since my heart resides in Chapel Hill / RTP, I consider myself a Coastopian! Besides, we'll be moving back to RTP soon...
UNC '91 checking in.
Want to make your stomach turn? Want to wonder why Dookies just don't get it? Then read this, but make sure you have something to vomit in handy:
http://www.chronicle.duke.edu/vnews/display.v/ART/41ff80a1b5dee
Proudly making the cut: Carolina graduate 1992. Resident of Manly Dorm. God Bless Dean Smith, Chapel Hill, and the Pit.
UNC, 1993,
Cheesy Granville frosh w/a meal-plan nosh,
Crazy hell Hill Hall, pickup basketball,
Daily Tar Heel Yo! and a party some mo',
National Championship, National CHAMPion shit!Get up.
Hey, Ian. I am fortunate to have been graduated in what I consider the sweetspot of your golden years, to mix the metaphor (History '87). I am fortunate to have lived in the Pink House my last two years as an undergrad. I am fortunate to have my health, loving family, faithful friends, and decent work. But I may be most fortunate to live in a place (Carrboro) where I only rarely have to deal with the guilt that accompanies rejecting the Unfortunate.
Congrats on fatherhood. Russ.
I only discovered your blog last week, but as an (sadly far outside your approved super-cool years) '04 grad of UNC and the DTH - and one of those pesky edit page fools that has rerun your essential guide to hating Dook - I want to say thanks for making the day of a few Tar Heels.
And of course, with Wednesday fast approaching:
"I don't give a damn 'bout Dook University..."
Man, it's a UNC love-fest over here. That's frightening. Oh, by the way, Go 'PACK!
go to hell Duke!!!