March 03, 2005
tHiS JuSt iN *burp* ~fART~
3/3/05
You get the feeling that journalism teachers around the world are ready to hang it the fuck up. I can't imagine starting in the news media in the '60s or '70s and realizing what "news" has turned into - they must all see themselves as the last, dying breed, like Obi Wan stuck in a clay hut on a nondescript planet.
News sucks, and what's worse, they're bad at sucking. Do you want to know why I always turn to the Weather Channel? Because all they want to tell you is the weather. No agenda, no spin, no hoo-hah and no bullshit. Sure, they like to amp up a hurricane or a good blizzard, but the fine folks at the Weather Channel are so free of bias and ego that I like to cool my heels watching the snow pile up in Hastings, Nebraska.
No wonder Tessa's mom stopped listening to any health news - just wait three years and it contradicts itself. Butter kills you! Butter saves you! Eggs give you heart attacks! Eggs stop heart attacks! An aspirin a day helps your aorta! But aspirins destroy your aorta!
I know Google news is ripe for mockery, but why do we have contradictory piffle like this:
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Or how about this unintentionally funny (or rather, mind-blowingly stupid) headline:
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But tonight, we had a whopper. Stop the fucking presses, and shut down the server. STORY NUMBER ONE IS OUT, AND IT'S BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What....doesn't everybody have a private jet?
It's unfortunately so much worse than that. I am in the middle of dissertation hell and keeping terrible hours these days but will take a break from my work every hour or so just to make sure that the world didn't blow up while I wasn't paying attention or something. CNN started running that stupid Martha story as its main headline over 9 hours ago, I'd say, and they've changed the picture and slightly tweaked the headline at least 3 times (as if this is a story that is really EVOLVING -- first it was: she's going to get out, then it was: she's getting out any minute NOW!, then: she's making her way out of the building, then: oh, look, there she is!, etc., etc.). Totally painful. Perhaps she has a CNN journalist on her payroll like certain other public figures accused recently of the same practice. But I'm not naming any names, of course....
When I read the first sentence, I was prepared to mount a defense of serious print journalists (often maligned and overlooked due to their brethren in TV, the internet, and the tabloids)...but that was too darn funny.
craziness.
was flipping channels last night at about 12:30AM and came across CNN (if i remember correctly) who had the entrance/exit to "camp cupcake" staked out for a glimpse of martha leaving. kept flipping back to see how long they'd run with this "breaking news" with all of the legal pundits that had been out of work since the scott peterson trial and i swear it went on for at least 45-50 minutes. and then of course martha leaves in a SUV with tinted windows so you couldn't see anything anyway.
obnoxious. and yes, news sucks.
Ian, just to clarify: even though the Weather Channel seems innocuous, I read an excerpt of a speech given to the weather women at WC by a man talking about how they should DRESS (i.e., sexier). There is no escape. I get my weather from the good old-fashioned National Weather Service. Those people are great. And deciphering their weather lingo can be (I admit it, I'm a geek) kind of cool. Here they are: www.nws.noaa.gov. This is the only place I can rely on. The forecast discussions are good. Also, this is where the Weather Channel, your local news program, everyone is getting their information. Back to the source is what I say!
Oh, I have to give a shout out to those ladies at the Weather Channel, and it seems ever other one I see is preggers...not sure how sexed up they can get. I work across from their HQ and a few live in my neighborhood. Represent!