4/6/05
Today's the day, New Yorkers!
Whaddya mean, "what day?"
Today is Almost Show Your Boobs Day!
That's right, after six months of festering underneath cotton, wool, alpaca, cashmere and various polyester blends, today is that first day of spring where your boobs are screaming to get out and say "Hello 2005!"
Yes, yesterday was actually the first nice day of the year. But you didn't trust it, did you? You put on sweaters, had pullovers, long-sleeves, the whole works. And you were miserably hot. You're not going to make that mistake today!
Us guys don't want to objectify you. Most of us are quite smart, took lots of gender equality classes in college, and are happily coupled with an awesome member of your sex. But every once in a while, WE NEED TO SEE SOME BOOBS THAT DON'T LIVE IN OUR APARTMENT.
We're not going to DO anything about it, we're just going to look for the allotted 1.3 seconds before we appear creepy. Just one look, and the honest boys won't be wearing sunglasses.
Tank tops, low V-neck T-shirts, come ON! It's time! Every single heterosexual male (and lesbian) has looked forward to this day through this long, dreary winter. In the dregs of January, the sloth of February, do you know what kept us going? That's right, BOOBS!
Even my wife is in on the act, and she's got a belly the size of West Texas! Everyone's doing it! Don't disappoint us! YAAAAY!
thanks to Dan K. and Mac for reminding us
Posted by Ian Williams at April 6, 2005 10:09 PMAs a non lesbian owner of breasts, I concur, you hit it dead on target. I noticed several pairs today and grimaced as I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater. I didn't trust the weather for a second day and it looks like tomorrow won't be the day to put my goods on display either.
Cheers to your wife though, for getting in the spirit. I can only imagine the way she feels these days. I'm sending good "contraction and dilation" thoughts her way.
Goddamit. First of all, it's Breast Liberation Day, as I noted some five years ago when I first moved to New York. And second of all, *I'M* the one who noticed it five years ago, and those boys had to check with *me*.
Of course, I hadn't been outside, so I guess I can't really get mad.
Leave it to you for a politically correct post on boobs, but for us democratic rednecks on the W.O.W. tongue-waggin' bandwagon, yesterday was the first of hopefully many brilliant warm weather Whip Em'Out Wednesdays; we celebrate the occasion every 'hump day'--RAIN (wet tshirts), COLD (as a witches' titties in a brass brassiere on Halloween) , or SHINE (as in high-beamers).
Spring has Sprung.
Tar Heel breasts (and more) have been liberated for *weeks* now. I saw a couple of young women sunbathing in thong bikinis near Morrison dorm Monday.
If a "Northern Part of Heaven" exists, it likely doesn't open until Memorial Day.
May your day be full of booby goodness, Ian!
my non-denominational breasts have been happily clad in tank tops for almost a week now! Woooo--hooo---and although they may be gravity-bound due to age (and thus may not warrant the full 1.3 second look!)they are nevertheless soooooooooo thrilled that it's Spring!!!
Well, your post today brings up an important point, and thank you making it - it's Women's Health Month. Ladies should be reminded to do their monthly breast check to catch cancer early.
The following are symptoms:
-A lump is detected, which is usually single, firm, and most often painless.
-A portion of the skin on the breast or underarm swells and has an unusual appearance.
-Veins on the skin surface become more prominent on one breast.
-The breast nipple becomes inverted, develops a rash, changes in skin texture, or has a discharge other than breast milk.
-A depression is found in an area of the breast surface.Women's breasts can develop some degree of lumpiness, but only a small percentage of lumps are malignant.
ah, memories of Conner Beach in the spring.
You're more in touch with breasts than I, Gunga Ian: I was sure you were coming from left field and in for a lambasting when I read your post. Anyway, you might be interested to know, if you didn't already, that when you're king of Bhutan, you actually get to decree the day of the seasonal clothes change as each season passed...or so one hears on public radio. (I don't know whether the tank top is among any of the traditional Bhutanese garbs.)
just no man-boobs, please!
tricky, tricky, for those of us on edge of our seats trying not to call and running to the blog every five minutes for baby news, and you open with: "Today's the day." And, for someone who had *@#FIVE*#% days of labor squeezing out my perfect watermelon, it also sent me running to knock wood hoping that you weren't really saying Today when princess peanut might stay in a while yet. And then, for my reading efforts, I am rewarded with this despicable celebration of the kind of objectifying that keeps the whole race of women... oh, I can't do it, I was trying to kid around and give you that lambast, but I don't care if you or anyone else checks out my or anyone else's tits. Keep those peepers peeled.
This also means we're close to the start of Inappropriate Speedo Season.
i am a boob fan. all shapes and sizes - never gets boring... i must admit though, i have some mixed feelings at the beginning of this year's "season" now that my oldest daughter has started growing some of her own!
While we're all being open-minded, I'd like to mention a discreet online forum I'm putting together: It will be password protected and display boob images only for 1.3 seconds, and only to a very select clientele, who will not have access to your detailed contact information. E-mail photos to Ian and he can forward them.