July 11, 2005

yes i would like a knuckle sandwich

7/11/05

Andrew asked an interesting question yesterday: namely, in what circumstance would some of us go to war for the United States of America?

I've often thought about it, because I have a macabre sense of daydreaming, and I've always believe the armed forces to be the absolute worst place for me in the entire world. I have direct, acidic and throngingly furious problems with authority, I don't like running for no reason, and when someone shouts at me, I feel like hitting them in the face with a tire iron.

I'm also with Chesterton when he said that "my country, right or wrong" was like saying "my mother, drunk or sober." There are conflicts worth engaging, and those worth fleeing. In World War II, I'm sure I would have volunteered like anyone else, and been enough of a health nightmare (flat feet, blind, etc.) to get a nice desk job where I could have done some good, like speechwriting or something to do with the English language.

During Vietnam, I would have burned my draft card and sought solace with my friends up in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island and done all the cooking and cleaning for Peter and Catherine while dodging the window as policemen drove by. I could have lived in the attic and sold Chipwiches in front of the Province House. There's no way I was going to Vietnam, and I'm crafty enough to have eluded them.

Either way, I'm constitutionally incapable of firing a gun at another human being. The thought of it actually makes me sick. I know I say I want to hit someone with a tire iron, but y'see, I don't actually do it. It takes a specific kind of person to kill another man, and I'm just not it.

The afternoon of 9/11, when I had helped families streaming up the West Side Highway - and my sister and wife were serving ice cream to the firefighters downtown - I contemplated what I might do. I've never even mentioned this to Tessa, but I seriously thought about studying Arabic, or, more weirdly, code-breaking and terrorist-chatter-deciphering. Going after these individual terrorist cells seemed - and still seems - worthwhile to the point of necessity.

Ah, but it doesn't work like that with this President. If you go into the armed forces - hell, if you're caught sniffing around a recruiting kiosk at the Walmart - the next thing you know, your testicles are being blown off by a roadside I.E.D. on the way out of Kirkuk. The 350 billion dollars we poured into Iraq could have been spent convincing smart people like ME to join the anti-terror fight at home, but there's NO FUCKING WAY I'd put myself on the line for the people currently in charge.

America changes; it's a morphing entity. So am I. I would have fought for Clinton in Serbia, and FDR aboard an aircraft carrier, but I wouldn't have touched the Spanish-American War with a ten-foot oar, nor will I ever call George Bush my commander-in-chief. My right as an American not only means I get to pick and choose, but it puts upon me the burden of measuring the degree of lunacy of our administration at any given time.

Progressives had an era, and they will again, but our time is not now. We are the quietest 49% of the World's Remaining Superpower's Electorate imaginable. We have no leadership, no concrete plan to get us out from under the Republicans, and our gift for nuance puts us at temporary disadvantage. So to answer Andrew's question, yes, there are wars in which I would have participated, but for now, I'm going to climb back in my hole and hurl poop at passers-by.

yellowribbon(bl).jpg


Posted by Ian Williams at July 11, 2005 11:31 PM
Comments
Posted by: Andrew at July 12, 2005 04:53 AM

Ian: I am a different Andrew from the one whom you spoke of in your blog today but I am a daily reader and I comment sometimes. I respect the honesty you displayed in today's entry and I genuinely enjoyed your words.....right up to seeing the yellow ribbon.
While I appreciate your right to say what you want, while I appreciate that this is your blog, and while I understand the thought you are conveying with the ribbon, I feel that such a display is....beneath you. [Sorry that I am not eloquent enough to say it another way]. Just seems that for a writer of your ability, you could have made your point in a more nuanced fashion without suggesting that you have no feelings for the 18 year old kid sitting out in the desert.
Maybe criticism of how you communicate your points in this venue is not appropriate. If not, let me know and I won't do it again. It is your blog. And I will keep reading regardless.

Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 12, 2005 05:23 AM

Um, these past few days have been very enlightening and thought-provoking and all, but what I really want to know is, have you seen Jen and Ben? Brit and K-Fed? Are Kirsten and Jake really back together??

Sorry -- I am a brat. As to today's topic, you have given me much food for thought. You say that you are incapable of firing a gun at someone. I used to think the same of myself, but I honestly think I could do it. Especially if my child was being harmed. And, I used to think that being an objector to a war was the moral approach . . . but now I don't believe that we can enjoy all the freedoms inherent in being an American and then pick and chose whether we want to defend our nation when we are called to do so. You can't enjoy living in your house without paying the homeownership association dues, you know?

I don't have much else to add, but I do have a book recommendation for you. I recently read Ian McEwan's 'Saturday', and while I did not think the book lived up to the hype, I thought of you the whole time I was reading it. I think you'll find it to be interesting.

Posted by: Lillie at July 12, 2005 05:39 AM

Why is it always us versus them with you? Are you really that Progressive? Todays entry seems juvenile and divisive. I imagine you sticking out your tongue as you post it. Maybe your personal distaste for the current administration colors your perception of those who may support its policies, or just some of them. Recent history buffs correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Iraq indiscriminatly bombed periodically during the previous administration?

Posted by: Lee at July 12, 2005 07:53 AM

Ian, I understand your frustration. I think the kicker, though, is that the "support our troops" sticker really means "support our president". Whenever you see that sticker, it's always with Bush/Cheney stickers and often on an SUV with something else mean on it, like, "US: Love it or Leave it".
So,for someone who does actually support our TROOPS- those poor guys over there have no choice in what they're doing and probably didn't have a lot of alternatives and could have easily signed up under the Clinton administration and are still stuck, or even more sad, could have signed up after 9/11 wanting to make a difference and be a bunch of heroes. So yeah, I support those guys and feel bad for them and also know that it's probably near impossible for them to look at the situation they're in and question. That's not really good for survival or even morale. I know if I was over there, I'd have a hard time questionng why I was even there in the first place... if you do that, how do you even get up in the morning to deal? But I feel that pang that Ian feels everytime I see that damn yellow sticker because I don't believe that the people who have it on their car even mean that. To me, it's become more of a nationalistic symbol. It's become the "You're for us, or against us" thing. If you said, "I support the poor guys over there right now but not the fuckers who sent them", you'd get a rock in your windshield.

Posted by: kent at July 12, 2005 07:54 AM

I won't go off again on Pacifism, and Ian holds down the job of Bush-baiting better than I ever would. But let me share a Quaker joke:

A Quaker farmer is awoken by the sounds of someone rummaging around downstairs in his house. He gets up and goes down the stairs with a lantern and a shotgun, and confronts a burglar in his kitchen.
To the interloper he says "Excuse me friend, but thou stands where I'm about to be shooting."

Pacifism isn't about rolling over and letting the bad people hurt you.

Posted by: Kevin at July 12, 2005 07:55 AM

I think that the purpose of the slightly altered ribbon is not Ian's subtle smack-down of "the 18 year-old sitting in the desert", but instead "calling bullshit" on the connotations that come along with the message of the ribbon in its original version. Like the TV news anchor, who didn't like the idea of an american flag pin on his lapel becasue he saw it as a tacit agreement with this Admionistration's policies (think Kramer not wearing the red ribbon in the AIDS walk). I find it fairly humourous that in the Philadlephia area anyway, most of these ribbon magnets can be found on ginourmous SUVs (perhaps the irony - of driving an automobile that requires massive amouts of petrol with a ribbon on the bumper "supporting" the troops that are currently being shot at so that they can get said petrol just a few cents cheaper then the French - is lost on them.) I find this $5 patriotism fucking disgusting. I support the troops by mailing phone cards to Armed Forces hospitals so that they can let their loved ones know that they aren't dead, or mailing boxes of Maxim, PlayBoy, Stuff, Sports Illustrated, etc to bases in the Middle East (I'm told the soldiers appreciate this kind of thing).
So yeah, I'm in full agreement with Ian. These $5 patriots can take their little ribbon magnets and shove 'em up their ass. Apoligies for being crude, but I think you all get my point.

Posted by: Piglet at July 12, 2005 08:45 AM

I, on the other hand, agree with Andrew. The yellow ribbon should read, "Support Our Death Squads".

I've stayed out of the military, because my dad and my uncle were there and their true stories have convinced me that me and the armed forces won't mix well in a tight spot. I'm just not cut for following orders and being part of a team that way.

Logistically, the war I'd fight is a guerilla war. Which means that, unless hordes of Chinese invade the west coast any time soon, I'm either in covert ops or I'm a mess cook.

Ideologically, I'm there if I believe the cause is just. Defending our own country is always just. If it's someone else's country, the big factor is whether the people of that country are on our side. Which leaves Vietnam, El Salvador, and Iraq out, though Korea and Grenada in. There are other factors, but that's the biggest.

Posted by: Just Andrew at July 12, 2005 09:11 AM

Glad I get a chance to expand on that question...

I agree with Ian that I'm not cut out for military service, but after 9/11, for the first time in my life, I did feel compelled to add my suspect talents to the pool of those who are helping to fight. I didn't end up doing anything and I suppose I have a bit of guilt for that.

On the other hand, that makes me all the more appreciative of those who do serve, who don't get to pick and choose how they would like to help - maybe they signed up to help in a place they agreed with our policy and ended up in Iraq where they don't agree. Point is, because these guys were willing, we don't have to - we are able to sit at home and live our lives normally - to the point that we don't even have to think about what these guys endure on a daily basis (be it fighting in a war we don't agree with or simply running through the heat at a military base).

Does a cheap little ribbon make a difference? It might to some and apparently does, so I don't see any good from denegrating it or those that display it. What I'm hearing here is the oft espoused Christian ideal of being judged for our works - and displaying a sticker ain't much. But extend that personally - if works are important, then how much do you do? Just enough to salve your own conscience? What sacrifice have you made - are your deeds done in your spare time or have you done work that took you away from the things you hold close?

Posted by: kaz at July 12, 2005 09:40 AM

well, at the risk of being considered self-serving, i'm going to post a link to the website that i designed and which has a 4-minute short film that i made about the issue of what it means to "support our troops"...

www.acatastrophicsuccess.com

after spending a lot of time soul-searching about my stance on supporting the troops versus supporting this administration, i decided that, while i am not cut out for fighting, service in the name of american ideals is important to me. unfortunately, i didn't see how i could do this with the climate in the US as it is today. and, yes, those damned ribbons are exceedingly offensive to me. moreso, because the people who put them up don't actually seem to give a damn that the administration is cutting benefits for returning soldiers and aren't showing ANY support at all for the maimed and psychologically damaged who return from Iraq.

so, i made a film. i combined my background in psychology (which had me steaming post-abu ghraib because the whole situation could have been predicted, if anyone in the adminstration bothered to study past military engagement or event the imfamous stanford prison experiment) and my current means as a filmmaker, and i think that this has been the best way for me to support our troops. i am provoking discussion and providing information. and, hopefully, people who watch the film will think more carefully about what it means to support our troops and send young men and women into combat without real reasons or protection...

Posted by: Jody at July 12, 2005 09:47 AM

You certainly wouldn't have "volunteered, just like anyone else". The draft for WWII was implemented on 8/27/1940. Please note that date and remember I said draft. We were not at war, nor were we attacked.

We were bombing and strafing the Japanese for two years in China before Pearl Harbor.

The Holocaust was not generally known.

We were developing weapons of mass destruction before the declaration of war based on the testimony of Einstein, et al. to the President.

We were profiting handsomely from supplying all sides in Europe.

The Germans began sinking our ships and blocking our ports.

It became a "good" war because Hitler emerged as an outrageous maniac. (He occupied most of our current allies in Europe for a year and a half and we didn't go fighting him then, he just didn't stop. We sure as hell didn't go there because he was killing Jews, even though the Jews in the US certainly knew something was up).

We didn't fight the Fascist governments of Italy, Spain and Germany in the '30's because we 'wanted to spread democracy and freedom'.

Frankly, we lucked out. We came late in the game, we were attacking a ridiculously aggressive dictator, we won decisively, halted a genocide, emerged a superpower (mostly by being physically intact), helped rebuild a great deal (who would we have done business with if we hadn't?)and established some really sweet democratic governments. It is a historically awesome accomplishment.

These are the benefits you gain from being decisive in a reactive situation. The neocons got frustrated because we couldn't push Hussein into doing something really stupid, thereby justifying the attack. That is one of their many flaws. They are so blinded by policy and business nepotism and incest that their "Project for a New American Century" will fail because it is not based on historic American values. By the way, in terms of America's historic fads (yesterday's topic), the neocons are slowly starting to fracture from within. Obviously, they have built a huge power base, it will take time.

Under the "support our troops" stickers I would like to see some fine print:

"I am limiting my energy consumption to reasonable levels, I send a care package to Iraq every month and I write my Representatives to encourage them to push for a timely pullout. Thank you for doing the same".

I'm sure the troops would really appreciate this.

Posted by: noj at July 12, 2005 09:59 AM

piglet said: "Support Our Death Squads"

that's really immature and fucking stupid and someone needs to point it out.

Posted by: Deb at July 12, 2005 10:06 AM

I'm sorry, but the yellow stickers are as much a fashion statement as the SUV's they adorn. I am only old enough to remember the first Iraq "Operation", but the same thing happened in suburbia with actual yellow ribbons. It was considered passe if you didn't have one tied around your tree or waving from your car antenna. The prevailing (hyperbolic) notion was that the neighbors who didn't have any yellow ribbons displayed were Communisits. Only ignoramuses equate a strip of cloth/magnet (or lack thereof) with patriotism (or lack thereof).

Posted by: Joe C. at July 12, 2005 10:21 AM

It is very important to remember that Islam is a religion of peace, much more than the so-called Christian southern nuts who strip people of their rights based on their race or preference. I also find it interesting how fast that Fox News and the other right-wing media outlets tried to put the blame of London's bombing on muslims. They did the same thing back on September 11th, they tried to pass it off on muslims, and then later we found out how some of the buildings were secretly bombed by the NYPD special forces all under the guise that they were structurally unsafe.

It is interesting to see them try to pass of the London attack on muslims. Four guys knowing they are standing next to a bomb about to go off with a timer just wait for it to happen... ? Why would they? It is one thing to use oneself as a human guided missile to deliver a bomb, but these bombs are already at the target, and already counting down. There is no purpose to sticking around to be blown up with the bomb, and every reason to leave and plan more bombings. This story is as silly as the "Suicide Squad" at the very end of Monty Python's "Life of Brian". Also, it is Sky News that is running with this story of muslims doing the bombing, let's keep in mind that Sky News is the Fox News of Europe, all News Corp. right-wing companies. What is even more interesting is that most people in London have cell-phones, and not one person has any pictures of these 4 muslim men boarding a bus or subway, or the dead body of a muslim man that was sitting next to the exact spot where the bomb went off.

They want us to buy the story that muslims did the London attack, just like they wanted us to buy the story of Iraq being connected to 9/11, all just lies of Bush/Blair and lies of the right-wing media. The saddest part of this all is how mosques around London are now being vandalized, I'm willing to bet money though that it is white christians responsible for vandalizing those mosques, the Christians are back to their days of crusading.

If you want to stop terrorism, kick Bush and the christian right-wing zombies out of office, they are the real terrorists, over 100,000 innocent Iraqis killed so far for lies and for Halliburton's free oil.

Posted by: Chris M at July 12, 2005 10:30 AM

Because someone displays a yellow ribbon doesn't mean they don't send phone cards or care packages or donate to the USO. Besides, like the rest of us, they pay plenty of taxes in support of the troops and the mission.

Because someone expresses support for the troops, or the actions in Afghanistan or Iraq, doesn't mean you must do so. They are expressing an opinion and we all like to do that from time to time.

Criticising free expression is illiberal.

Military missions are carried out by people who need support and encouragement -- not the opposite -- especially when risking their lives. The ribbons are a small gesture of decency and compassion, not unlike people who wore AIDS ribbons.

The troops in the field in Afghanistan and Iraq voted strongly to re-elect Bush. They did so because they support the mission and believe that he supports them. Since they are risking their own lives, *their* opinion of the commander in chief is what matters most.


Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 12, 2005 10:55 AM

Ian, you don't need to climb into a hole and throw poop to help your cause -- you could move down here and work at the National Security Administration. We have many friends who do exactly as you described above (decipher code, listen to terrorism chatter, and use their Arabic language skills) at NSA every day. They are average Americans, just like you and me, with families and houses and pets, who are doing what they can to fight the war on terrorism. There's no need to have your testicles blown off.

I believe in what my friends and neighbors are doing, and I believe in the war on terror. I am glad that we went into Afghanistan and Iraq. Would the Iraqis have been better off with Saddam in charge? I don't think so.

And, I have one of those yellow ribbons on my Honda. And you can get them for $1, not $5!

Posted by: Kevin at July 12, 2005 10:57 AM

President Bush uses these troops that love him so well as props for whatever agenda he has for that week. Whether it is landing on an aircraft carrier in his GI Joe flight suit, or speaking at Fort Bragg last week. This President cares nothing for these men and women in the military, as evidenced by the funding cut to V.A. and the casualness that he sent 100K+ troops to a desert for what has been proven to be false rease reasons, if not an out-and-out lie.
The troops may be risking their lives, and I am thankful that I am not one of them, but this President is risking the lives of EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN BOTH HERE AND ABROAD with his grand misadventure in Iraq by further enflaming The Islamic community, and turning Osaoma bin Laden from a lunatic with a small following to a prophet for most of the Middle East. (He did claim that the goal of America was to occupy an oil-rich Middle Eastern nation even before 9/11/01)

Posted by: kaz at July 12, 2005 11:06 AM

laurie, i need to point out, again, that just because people disagree with what's going on now doesn't mean that we preferred to have saddam in power. this kind of black and white thinking is exactly the reason we're in such a mess now. there are many ways to topple a dictator, and the most lasting and most "american" (in the sense of the rights and process laid out in our constitution and founding principles) way is to take the high road and use diplomacy and garnered international standing. it is indeed a benefit of this disaster that saddam is no longer a power player, but there is a fundamental mis-understanding that removing him or osama bin laden will in any way make us safer. a terror network is defined largely by distribution of power, which is why they are so effective...and why brute military force will never work.

Posted by: Ian at July 12, 2005 11:39 AM

I have that magnetized printing paper, and would gladly stick my yellow ribbon on the back of the Prius except that I'm POSITIVE some asshole would take an aluminum baseball bat and smash all my windows.

With apologies to Laurie, I'd wager that less than .01% of people with that sticker do anything else to "support our troops" in Iraq. It's a Republican bumper sticker, plain and simple, that demands we support something that I totally disagree with. And, like I posted last year:

http://www.xtcian.com/arch/002046.php

...it's more often than not on the back of a giant SUV. It's jingoistic hoo-hah worthy of derision unless YOUR KID is over there, and you change the words to "*I* support the troops." Otherwise, it's a load of fat Americans behind the wheel, couching their conservatism behind a bunch of 18-year-olds 9,000 miles away. Except when Laurie does it (insert smile here).

Look, the military is still volunteer-based. Nobody forced anybody to sign up. My support is flexible - I cheered them in Bosnia and Afghanistan. And they have the freedom to not support my career either if they think I take a wrong turn.

Want to know how I help in the anti-terror effort? I drive a car that gets 50mpg. Our house is entirely solar-powered. And I support friends like Jiffer, who is in Afghanistan as a civillian working for the Joint Electoral Management Body (jemb.org) trying to restore order in that country.

Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 12, 2005 12:29 PM

Go ahead. Call me a fat American. And I went and told you that I have been attending Weight Watchers and all! Hmph. I'll have you know that I am closing in on my goal weight! Nothing tastes as good as thin feels! Get moving - stop emotional eating!

No, I would not put that yellow ribbon of your's on the Prius. Back in the day, I had a Clinton/Gore bumper sticker on my little Plymouth Sundance, and I was given the finger on a weekly basis. And that was before I ever heard of Road Rage.

I admit that I have mixed feelings about my yellow ribbon. Sometimes I feel patriotic. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. I used to have a Tarheel magnet on my car, but someone stole it within a week. Damn those Terp fans.

I am mentally exhausted from the past days' entries. Any chance of some gratuitous celebrity news?

Posted by: Claudia at July 12, 2005 12:36 PM

Laurie, I'm not in LA, but there is an Internet rumor floating around that Britney is carrying twins. Have you heard anything about it?

Posted by: Chris M at July 12, 2005 01:28 PM

"I'm POSITIVE some asshole would take an aluminum baseball bat and smash all my windows."

Gee, ya think? It wouldn't be right or legal to do it, but eventually someone would. Of course, a thousand otherwise fat, jingoistic SUV drivers would just look at it, think you're a big poopy head, and do nothing because provocative vulgarity is so common.


"I'd wager that less than .01% of people with that sticker do anything else to "support our troops" in Iraq. It's a Republican bumper sticker, plain and simple,..."

Pas exactement, mon bon ami de Kerry. Besides paying taxes, I'd wager more than 80% of those people with the Republican bumber stickers did *the* crucial additional thing to support our troops in Iraq -- they voted for Bush.


"...unless YOUR KID is over there, and you change the words to "*I* support the troops."

For those of you who have a sister, brother, grandchild, cousin, nephew, niece, neighbor, friend, colleague, or someone you worship with serving in the military in Iraq or Afghanistan, and who display a yellow ribbon, please be advised that you are now, officially, a jingoistic guzzler of fossil fuels. And fat.


"...I cheered them in Bosnia and Afghanistan."

I am visualizing this cheering ...Ian, with moist eyes, is watching Christiane Amanpour heap praise on the skill and bravery of America's soldiers. She spares no detail of their courage and compassion in protecting the innocent Muslim civilians. Ian, overcome with emotion, rises from his sofa and begins chanting "USA,USA" while waving his little Old Glory. Ok, now I am visualizing Ian cheering the Blue Devils as they drive down the floor...


Posted by: Matt at July 12, 2005 02:07 PM

Some quotes culled from the above comments:

"I feel that pang that Ian feels everytime I see that damn yellow sticker because I don't believe that the people who have it on their car even mean that."

"These $5 patriots can take their little ribbon magnets and shove 'em up their ass."

"Only ignoramuses equate a strip of cloth/magnet (or lack thereof) with patriotism (or lack thereof)."

"I'd wager that less than .01% of people with that sticker do anything else to 'support our troops' in Iraq."

Why must people presume the worst in those who hold, or are perceived to hold, different political views? They are all probably just as sincere in their support of the troops as you. Your assumption that, unlike yourselves, they don't do anything other than place a yellow magnet on their SUVs is pure moral vanity.

Joe C: Don't ever change
Chris M: You rock
Lillie: So do you
Laurie from Manly Dorm: God bless you for saying that

Posted by: Ian at July 12, 2005 04:16 PM

Chris, now you've gone too far. That's nasty and uncalled for. How dare you suggest I'd cheer the Blue Devils.

Posted by: Tregen at July 12, 2005 04:25 PM

Reminded me of the famous Coastopia post.... I actually think some of this might have been plagiarized.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/80714812.html

Posted by: Salem at July 12, 2005 04:44 PM

When people start throwing around clever phrases like "Support our Death Squads" I think it's time to strip away the politics, stereotypes and other assorted bullshit and acknowledge that there is honor in advancing to the next fox hole in the service of your Country. There is honor in crossing the line of fire in the service of your Country. The strength of spirit that our soldiers muster to enter the next insurgent hideout is the same strength of spirit that huddled groups of two and three young boys drew upon at Normandy and chose to move ahead one more fox hole and then another. Whether that soldier is a West Point graduate or a meth-head who's high school guidance counselor tricked him into enlisting, there is honor in a soldiers service to his Country. Don't be so lazy with your anger. Put the blame were it belongs. The disgrace and dishonor comes from the top.

Posted by: Salem at July 12, 2005 05:19 PM

Sorry to go off topic, but I just read that Ralph Reed (former Christian Coalition Pres.) is running for Lt. Governor in my State of Georgia. I am afraid all the comedians are going to forget about Alabama and Missippi.

Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 12, 2005 06:55 PM

Claudia! Thank you for indulging me! My husband mentioned that twins rumor just the other day, and he was so pleased to have scooped me on celebrity news. In fact, I could not tell if he was just teasing me, or if he actually had read it. I will have to look it up at work tomorrow. . . . All I know is that K-Fed surely won the PowerBall Lottery when he married Brit and knocked her up.

Hey, did you hear the rumor about my darling Tom Cruise and Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20 and the damage control/fake engagement with little Katie Holmes! Oh Tom, just come out of the closet if it's true! No one cares if you are gay! We still love you! You and Rob Thomas are a much better-looking pair than you and High School Homecoming Queen Katie!

Posted by: scruggs at July 12, 2005 06:57 PM

Hey, my first year living on North Street, I had a "We Strom" bumper sticker on the back of my car. One morning I found it ripped up into tiny pieces and stuck back on my windshield. Where's the love from the pink house?

Salem, afraid that news is all too true. What's worse is I've read he's raised a shit ton of $$$ already. Better hit the campaign trail.

Posted by: Claudia at July 12, 2005 07:19 PM

Laurie, I hadn't heard the Tom Cruise rumor at all! Looks like I need to hit Google again...

I guess time will tell whether we'll be hearing the patter of multiple little Federlines, or just one. K-Fed sure did luck out.

So, do you think anything's up with Jen and Vince?

Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 12, 2005 07:20 PM

What's new with little Lucy? She must be sleeping well in CA -- your entries lately show no signs of sleep-deprivation.

Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 12, 2005 07:45 PM

Hi Claudia. Yes, it is a sordid drama about Tom and Rob and Rob's angry wife, Marisol. Rumors that Tom is pulling a Rock Hudson-ish cover-up. I can't remember where I found the info, but I was able to Google it within 10 minutes of reading Liz Smith's column, which hinted at a salacious rumor. Meanwhile, my work at the Insurance Job piles up. I am clearly in the wrong line of work!

Jen and Vince? Hard to tell. It's a rebound, if anything. I read in People Magazine that more people are on Team Aniston than Team Jolie, but in my mind, Angelina at least has some substance. She is interested in world issues as opposed to Jen's pre-occupation with designing and decorating her mega-mansion. Jen will never find another catch like Brad, though. And I don't think she'll get beyond her Rachel persona to hit it big on the silver screen. Even her "The Good Girl" role was just a watered-down, poor man's version of a Rachel character. Mark my words! She'll be sorry that she let Brad go!

Posted by: jif at July 12, 2005 09:29 PM

of all the provacative comments in this blog... laurie.. tom cruise is tooootally gay. i've heard rumors from a bodyguard/stuntman type who claims that evvveryone in hollywood knows it. that's the whole scientology deal - katie gets a career boost, tom gets his privacy, and women of the world get to go on lusting... love from Herat!

Posted by: Just Andrew at July 12, 2005 10:03 PM

A sneak preview of Wednesday's blog:

In what circumstance would some of us be willing to become Tom Cruise's secret man-slave and for how much?

Posted by: Salem at July 12, 2005 11:35 PM

O.K., I'll play celebrity juice. My wife's close friend told her a story about a "hot" Doctor she knew who returned from a resort in Italy where he was TOTALLY hit on in a steam room by John Travolta. As the story went, it was a goo goo eyed, towel removing, big bellied, no mistaking attempt at a steam room sweat swap. The Doc was freaked out and left. Here's the crazy part. Three weeks later at the Blue Star Super Market, in Jasper Georgia USA, I glance over at the tabloids and on the cover is John Travolta mocked up in a steam room with a towel around his waste and a headline about some dude in California claiming that Johnny boy made sexual advances on him in the steam room! What is up with these Scientologists? I don't really care if Aliens are gay, but are they fat and sweaty?

Posted by: Laurie from Manly Dorm at July 13, 2005 04:53 AM

OK, OK. My man is gay. What I don't understand is this. . . why such an elaborate cover up? He is TOM CRUISE for God's sake! He controls the movie industry! I just figured that the whole Rock Hudson-esque days are over. His fan base will still see his movies, won't they? I will still continue my unrequited lust for him! Oh well, what do I know. And yes, I need to get a life. And get back to work. Bye!

Posted by: Bobby at July 13, 2005 07:28 AM

Ian,
I very much like the sentiment of communication with your daughter at this early stage, I think it will help you develop an outstanding relationship with her, and will help ensure she has a great realtionship with you once she can verbalize and act as she develops even further.
I have decided that I need to spend more time communicating with my son in as thoughtful as a manner. and I thank you for that.

However, I get distracted by your opinions on politics, and war etc. since I am not sure if they are directed at your daughter (ie record for future so that she can understand who you are) or whether they are projected outward to an annonymous audience posted on web. I will, to the best of my ability, allow my son to develop defensable opinions on his own, without any pre-determined bias from my own developed views and standards.

I am tempted to engage you on a few of your points since I have always found fascinating the intensity and level of anger leveled toward America and George Bush to be so personal, as if any of us really can relate to what it is like to be a leader of this caliber or can relate to the responsibilities that men and woman in this position (of congress or sec of defense etc).

With two brothers in law in the US Military and on their 2nd and 3rd tour in Iraq and Afghanistan (my wifes family has career US Military backgroud from Grandfather, to Father, to brother, to uncle and several cousins) I assure you that those with most at stake do not share your views on the President, his conviction, or the significance of his strategy. It is easy to criticize things that do not go well, and it is easy to argue that things that go wrong could have been avoided, but I personally do not understand the awesome chaos of war, yet I trust those who are trained to wage it, and I know their committment to do the right thing and to manage that chaos to the best of their ability. The US continues to be the only power in the history of the world to wage war, win war, and then immeidately invest significant resources of our nation to re-build and help stabilize a country or region. History does not have a precedent for this (US post WWII through to Iraq) it is a uniquely American combination of justice and charity.

But, back to Bush the man. He is the president due to that very American fact that he received more votes. Although barely in 2000, still more. (at least according to all of the liberal media organizations and other liberal thinktanks that re-counted the votes no more than 16 times!) and in 2004, millions more. Only Howard Dean and Donna Brazil and the legacy groups of devoted Clintonites seem to dispute this fact, I guess to arouse the powerful sentiment in humans that reacts aggressively if they feel they have been cheated (seems both a collision of values and a chemical reaction) I found it ironic that he won so many more votes than a seemingly strong candidate in Kerry, since everyone believed that the war in Iraq was a disaster, that the economy was in a shambles, and that somehow evil men were associated with Bush (don't tell their mothers, sisters and daughters they are evil).

But alas, Bush won in the face of all of the conventional and unconventional wisdom. Just because people say things eloquently does not mean it is right. Classic Clinton style over substance, but American's are a media and clebrity wooed culture for sure.

As much as people seem to have a personal hatred for Bush for being something (i don't know what? maybe stupid? maybe privileged as a former presidents son? maybe simple? maybe decisive, maybe focused, maybe patriotic, maybe strong, maybe tough, maybe something that i don't know). This hatred of Bush for being who he is, is similar to the hatred I observed by some of Clinton who simply co-opted other's ideas, outmaneuvered (as if this should be celebrated) and often embarassed political opponents with his guile, made disastrous decisions--[such as refusing to let the US military bring armored vehicles into Somolia for political reasons (looked too aggressive to the local populations was the rationale never uttered by Clinton or his people) which ultimately was directly responsible for the negligence that allowed many Americans to die while serving a noble cause], disgraced himself, (had oral sex with the nearly teenage daughter of one of his own big political and fundraising supporters in the Oval Office of the White House!!Still unbelieveable--get a room) his family (lied to everyone and encouraged them to speak puclicly in his defense, destroying the credibility of his closest allies--until DNA evidence on the blue dress, then he said "i'm sorry)) , the office he swore to serve (committed perjury under oath), and generally tried to tell the country that his personal values should not matter--the cost of which to this nation as a whole is incalculable. Not sure how the human mind works sometimes when one large group of people thinks the oppposite of another large group of people in the way that the voter blocks in support or against these two men and what they stand (or stood) for (or did not stand for). Remains somewhat of a mystery.

Anyway, if the bitterness of the Clinton era is left behind, and the desperate belief that Florida was somehow won by Al Gore could be forgotten, we are still left with a sad fact: The Democratic Party lost the last two presidential elections for two main reasons: 1. They have bad candidates 2. They are out of touch with voters. #2 is the most powerful, and is so uniquely American. It is the strength of every president, and the silencer of all those who lose election. How else could George Bush get elected? He is uniquely an American phenomenon, and history will likely show him to be great. I use that word wisely.

Posted by: badbob at July 13, 2005 06:39 PM

Nice piece of writing Bobby, but it won't have an impact on Ian.

I check into this blog from time to time to see if he has had an "epiphany" of sorts (sorry for the possible religious connotations Ian-NOT). No, I don't expect him to turn Republican anytime soon but I would hope he would mature somewhat and realize that some things aren't right to be cynical about. Sometimes it takes a man to drink a good cup of "shut the fuck up".

He does have talents though, and he should feel real good about being as lucky as he is. Beautiful daughter, good looking wife with big-well- you know whats, and it appears he has several homes and a car that just made it across country. He's obviously living part of the American dream but he doesn't want much to do with the "dream" as others may see it.

Last weeks London terror attacks didn't do it for him, nor does the bravery of our troops who guarantee his freedom to say whatever he wants, make any difference. I barely passed Psych 101 so I won't go there..

He is just in a state of denial about something. What, I don't know and I really don't care, but there is something in him that just doesn't get how grave the threat is right now and he won't face it- at least realistically.

So he spouts off with a bunch of BS. Surely he must know it's BS with all he has to protect and see grow up?

That 1990's lull is gone and it ain't coming back anytime soon Ian.

B2

Posted by: Salem at July 13, 2005 07:36 PM

Just how "grave" does a threat have to be for us to pretend that everything we know about about history and human response should be ignored? Though I will stop short of speaking for Ian, his sporting indulgences against GWB and the recent incarnation of what America represents, are fair play in a political climate where GWB's indulgences lay the foundation for a millennium of hate and war. In what twisted, perverse, alternate universe did someone suggest that you should look into a camera and tell the collective populations of three nations that THEY are "The Axis of Evil"? It's as if GW got the Cliff Notes of Uncle Ronnie's "Evil Empire" speech and called it a night.
Listen...Bobby, when this kind of stuff is going on, there's gonna be some shit talkin'.
One more thing, civil disobedience takes courage. A lynching just takes a rope. Justice requires a civilized society, while revenge just takes a bullet. Don't confuse action with courage. Don't ask us to praise your fear.

Posted by: Salem at July 13, 2005 07:39 PM

Fuckin-A Salem, have another MacCallen's!

Posted by: Ian at July 13, 2005 10:49 PM

Badbob, I have stuck up for you before, and thought you've always played fair (even though I don't agree with hardly anything you say) but talking ungentlemanly about my wife puts you beneath contempt. When you start lactating and feeding your kids, you can say anything you want, but for now, keep your bullshit directed at ME.

Posted by: denis at July 14, 2005 01:24 AM

good post

Posted by: badbob at July 14, 2005 07:18 AM

Hmmmm. I think I hit a nerve. My first visit here to check on the redhead and family in a few weeks has gotten me a shot in the face.

I was complimenting you son- and also your beautiful wife and daughter. Regarding lactating and all- "you do the crime-you pay the time". All passes with time....forgive me m'lady Tessa, please?

Re- "sticking up for you". Well thanks I appreciate it but hardly need it.

B2

PS- But I do remember a posting you did all about the subject (breasts) you had several months back. It was funny then, eh? Trust me- it'll be funny again.

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