8/2/05
The pity about Hollywood and the blog is this: the more interesting our days get, the less I'm able to write about it. I'm fairly sure that if we get involved in any of the projects currently on the table, I'm going to have to do one of three things:
a) ask four of you (or somebody) and make this blog a more varied forum, like Kos or BoingBoing, and have each person (plus me) write a certain day of the week
b) keep writing the blog but avoid talking about the entertainment industry (which would be BO-RING)
c) stop keeping this blog altogether and erase all the archives and hope nobody clicks on the Google cache.
That said, I can still write whatever I want for now, and I can say that the last few days has seen the most incredibly insane exciting patch of good fortune - work-wise - since the War of 1812. I know Los Angeles can give you a drug and take it away from you just as easily, but when you're on a high, even the smog looks lovely.
Thus it's a perfect time to go to Vegas, baby! Or at least go to Vegas en route to my family's first massive reunion since our Gramma left this earth in 1996. Tomorrow we're packing the Prius full of our desert survival baby gear and zipping our way through the hottest place on earth en route to Altamont, Utah, where 85+ of my cousins, aunts and uncles will be gathered to sing songs, have sack races, and give each other the stomach flu.
I'm bringing along a tiny bit of my favorite Scotch so my older brothers and I can take a break at night from the games of Rook, and I'm also bringing a nice, pristine set of Jarts™ lawn darts. Y'see, this blog entry from 2004 has become the internet's de facto Jarts trading post, since they're not allowed on eBay or Yahoo. I'm happy to oblige, and occasionally I'll pick up an extra set if the seller sounds nice.
The last time I played Jarts™ in earnest was at my Aunt Marilyn's house in 1976, so maybe she'll think it's cool that I brought some back from the past. Or I'll be run out of the reunion on a rail, it could go either way.
I know you're always supposed to "bet on black" at the roulette wheel, but why am I always tempted by red? Any other gambling advice you'd like to share?
Posted by Ian Williams at August 2, 2005 11:17 PMThe house always wins -- but what fun is that?
Stick to craps. Bet the pass line and pick "special numbers" on the board as well. For example, if you and Tessa had your first date on May 9, Put your money on 5 and 9. Good Luck, and stay away from the poker rooms.
Stay on the Strip, gamble downtown.
Hit 16 if dealer holds 17 or greater.
Double down on 9-11 if dealer holds 16 or less.
Take even money on blackjack if dealer shows an ace.
Place $10 on Saints winning the Superbowl.
Bet $20 on roulette #27.Follow all of these without error and you should lose no more than $200 in two hours, or,
save the $200 and enjoy losing it more in New Orleans on the way home, or,
bet it on Rook while drinking your own brown liquor, the best option.
ok, am i the only one feeling greedy and needy here?? my initial response to this blog is not to offer gambling tips, but to cry out "WAAAHHHH"--Don't Take Ian Away From Us. Ok. I feel better. Of course I wish you all kinds of success in LALALAND, EVEN if it means you must cut back/limit your ability to write scathingly insightful things about the/your industry. sigh. . . .
take a gamble on spearmint rhino, good spot
Gambling is for suckers. The best fun you're likely to have gambling is to take $100 to a low stakes poker table and see how long you last. Other than that, it's cheaper and just as fun to watch.
The thing about Vegas is the SHOWS. Pick the most ridiculous casino show and go to it.
Killian, I'm with you--my first thought wasn't about gambling but about losing Ian! I appreciate the occasional guest blogger (I printed out and saved Kent's entry on Valentine's Day), but I come here to hear what Ian has to say, and I'd be very sad to give that up four days a week. Also, would the Hollywood gig mean that Park Slope would also lose Ian and Tessa and Lucy and Chopes for the foreseeable future? I'm as much for success and happiness as the next person, but please say it isn't so!
You can look at it two ways....you're "beating the odds" in Hollywood. Will spreading your Luck around Vegas divert the Lady from her primary mission? Or will she work equally hard for you in both locales?
...if you weren't superstitious, you might be now....
I am with Kent - stay with the shows!
i am keeping my fingers crossed that you get what you want out there in LA but would really miss your voice on this blog. with that said you know we would all be big fans of whatever creative project you and tessa are involved in - as long as you are true to yourselves and there is no laugh track involved!
and just having returned from a family wedding in vegas i would advise you to stay inside at all costs or you will actually melt. and if you are nearby take lucy to walk around the lobby area of that new hotel (i think it is called wynn) as there is alot to amaze a little critter (lots of colorful flowers and objects hanging from the ceilings).
Pull whatever money you have to lose out of your wallet. Go straight to the crap tables.. Find one that is hot. Squeeze in between two fat grizzly guys who smell bad. throw your money on the table and put all you have to lose on 6 or 8. Let it ride and push every time you win. After three wins, take your money off the board and do not gamble anymore.
On to another issue. Given the quality and quantity of responses you recieve I think your "guest" columnist idea could work. One issue of concern is that you do a great job of dropping a few bombs on the blog and then cooling the temperature with a couple of days of Lucy pictures. Seems like a difficult task to accomplish unless you maintain some level of editorial responsibility. I track numerous blogs on a daily basis and I think yours is by far the most stimulating(no funny comments), interesting, varied, and quirky. Don't stop.
just got back from vegas yesterday. spearmint rhino sat night, too funny. stayed at the wynn which is amazing. the japanese restaurant okada has the best appetizers on the planet. if you like oysters - get a dozen kumamotos at the bar (tables are a nightmare)- best i've ever had. re. gambling - the outdoor tables by the wynn pool (make sure to go to the "european" side) are fun as hell. they have misters spraying on you to keep you cool and the free drinks are flowing. not sure how they spent 2.7 billion on the place, but it's definitely worth checking out.
Like most, I will vote against option C. Anything but that.
Now I'm really dying to hear about the show(s) you're working on. Yaaargh!
You better erase this blog before all of your relatives get a hold of it, you expletive-using, Celexa-taking, frank-talking non-Mormon, you! Delete everything but the Lucy and Chopes photos. Quick, now! Ha!
I hope that scotch isn't truly reserved for brothers only...
I agree with tregen that you've got some interesting takes on a lot of topics, not just Hollywood. There've been some GREAT discussions here. In fact, very few of your posts have been on the subject of Hollywood, and we're all still here and hoping for more! On a selfish note, it's nice to hear your updates on the basketball team in Chapel Thrill.
My advice, don't fix what ain't broke!
And post more Lucy pictures!
And play craps - that's where your odds are the best.
Y'all, I would totally play craps, but I don't get the rules. Is there a fast tutorial somewhere?
Craps -
relatively simply game of odds.Basic idea:
One person roles two dice to determine the point number. If on this "first roll" the dice total 7 or 11, you win automatically if you bet on the passline. (You can't miss it, make the minimum bet) If the guy rolling the dice (shooter) rollss a 2, 3 or 12, on the first roll you lose. Any other number that is rolled becomes the point number. So Let's say the guy rolls an 8, which is statistically the second most likely number to be rolled due to the number of cominations that could equal 8. At this point, you will see a bunch of people placing "odds" on their passline bets... This is a good idea because this bet pays better than even odds and the fact that 8 is very likely to be rolled... Many people will place this bet regardless of the number but I don't like the odds if the point number is 4 or 10, anyway, I digress. At this point, the MAIN point of the game is to hope that the shooter rolls another 8(if that is the point number) before he rolls a 7, which is the "crap" number and is also statistically the most likely to be rolled. That's all you have to know to play. There are a million other "side" bets you can make but that is it in a nut shell. You can take a bet on any number between 4 and 10 and this bet stays active until the shooter rolls a 7 or the point number. You can pull this type of bet down at any time. Other bets, cannot be pulled down or may be valid for only one roll of the dice. Again, don't worry about all those, just go put some money on the passline, back it up with "odd" and then put some money on the "place bets" area.
Few helpful tips.
Don't lean over the table or put your hands on the table... big trouble.Toss your chips toward the closest worker and say "fifty on eight" or something cool like that, they will do the rest.
If you are rolling the dice, keep your hands over the table and hold with one hand... they are really sensitive about this...
Make sure the dice hit the back wall on the side of the table opposite from which you are standing.... watch a few people and make sure you use your own mojo when tossing those babies.
Scream, hollor, high five and have fun. This is the only game in the place that lets you have some fun.
This game is fast, fun and addictive. You can be up a grand and down two grand in twenty minutes. Use your common sense. If a roller has been going for ten minutes and you've made some dough, pull off whatever money you have out there that can be taken down. Statistically, he is only a few more rolls away from seven and you might as well pocket what you have rather than watching your bucks go down.
Push your winnings early in a roll. This is how you win big without gambling big.
Drink as many of those "free" drinks as you can... they will end up costing you a couple of hundred.
T
I thought we came up with a "Casino Kit" to keep in our cars on the way back from your bachelor party. I can't remember exactly, but I think the kit contained a 2X4 and a hundred bucks. As you approach the highway exit to the casino, your passenger hits you square in the face with the 2X4 as you simultaneously throw the hundred bucks out of the sun roof. You keep driving with roughly the same net impact of a casino visit and you arrive eight hours early to the reunion.
Roulette:
Alternate between outside and inside on each spin of the wheel. On the outside, take red or black unless you see a pattern developing in the numbers and feel like betting on the 1-18 or 19-36 or first, second or third twelves. Always bet only on a table where "22" is not showing on the scoreboard. Bet at least $3 on "22" on each of your inside spins. I doubled my money with this strategy over 3 days at the MGM Grand last weekend.
Huh? Weird.Several days ago, before eric g.’s last post, I wrote a suggestion that Ian should put $22 on 22, preferably at 2:20 (only if convenient), if it felt right. No guarantees. The main point was to pay attention to the synch. For example, it would be positive seeing girls in tutus while walking to the casino floor, spotting license plate numbers such as “Rou 22,” being charged $2.22 for Lucy’s drink, etc.
I was attempting to explain the Fine Art of Betting based on Synchronicity, but I never posted what I wrote.
And now I read eric’s post.
Bet on 22!