xtcian

mother of Pearl

8/8/05

small portion of the official picture

Well, I never thought I'd be caught dead in one of those family reunion T-shirts - they always end up in the bargain bin at the second-hand store purchased only for irony (I have a shirt for the Seltzer Family Reunion, Wisconsin 1999 for similar reasons) but I have to say, this time I felt pride whilst wearing the colors.

Despite the average Mormon's penchant for constant reunions, our Worsley side of the family (descended from my grandma Klea) had their last real get-together in 1986, when I was 19 years old. Since then, the extended family has grown by at least 50 more kids, and I swore by the end of this reunion in Altamont, UT, I'd try to name at least 75% of them accurately.

It's hard to explain our family to anyone else, but suffice to say that my cousins' kids, husbands, wives-in-law and anyone who is remotely related to us is thrown into the great mix and accepted as pre-ordained. Aunts once removed frequently work with their nephews-in-law. It's really quite terrific, as I truly adore my cousins, and their kids usually end up as cool as they are.

Lucy and her second cousin Chandler

First, a thing about my extended Mormon family. As I've said before, I don't find their beliefs any more irrational than anyone else's, including mine. They are not the "Mormons" you read about in "Under the Banner of Heaven" - they are not polygamists, and they aren't ruling anybody with a patriarchal fist. If anything, the women rule the roost in my family; hell, for all the talk of multiple wives, they've actually had more husbands.

The polygamy rap is really quite stupid - the numbers of actual polyamorous families in Utah is always sensationalized beyond reality, and they're all excommunicated anyway. People often mention "the bigamists up in the hills," which used to confuse me as a kid, thinking that wives and altitude had to be related. My family has nothing to do with that end of LDS thinking, and after the last forty years, have become as open-minded as most people in the West Village.

Well, maybe not the West Village, but certainly Paramus, New Jersey.

Kent, Melissa, Lucy

I was especially psyched Kent's family, including my sister-in-law Melissa, and nephews Sean Patrick and Lucas made the trip, as it was the first time they got to see their first real Williams cousin Lucy, and of course, Kent got to hang out with his namesake. Too bad she was such a grumbly-boots during the official pictures, or else it would have been cute.

My family has always been about putting on a show, so Saturday night we had the talent portion of the evening (now you know where I get it, fellow Jartaculees) and I sang a song that I wrote on Grandma's deathbed and the rest of the kids clanked whisks, pots and spoons to "I Am a Fine Musician."

The Dork Brigade, headed by Steve, Kent, Sean Patrick and Lucas, managed to throw everyone into awe (or deep sleep) by reciting the alphabet backwards in under 10 seconds, and naming every state in the Union in under fifteen. Sean Patrick also named every American Senator, which takes longer than you think.

The essence of these reunions is simple: you look around the room at these 85 people and find yourself awash in the buzz of shared experience and shared DNA. We all just really like each other. Or at least I like everybody, and they're all talking shit about me right now.

the late-'60s brigade: cousins Mark, Vince, Jana, me - countless photos of us in bathtubs together

Most importantly, Lucy got to meet her Auntie Donna, the matriarch of our family. Now 86, there is a small chance Lucy will have anything but the tiniest wisps of memories of her, even though Donna is trucking very healthily into her autumn. At the church service held Sunday morning, we sat on the mezzanine to take in the scene, and Lucy listened very intently to Auntie Donna's words. Lucy probably won't understand how much that will have meant to me.

Utah is an odd place, and despite my unflinching line of history that rests in those mountains, I have no desire to live there. But a jaunt into the valley to breathe the joy of a huge family is an incredible intoxicant. Well, actually, intoxicants aren't permitted by the Mormons, but the high is still delightful.

Posted by Ian Williams at August 8, 2005 11:16 PM