xtcian

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." -- James Joyce

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." -- Philip K. Dick

2005 was the year that Hunter S. Thompson, a devotee both of altered states and of the cold-eyed appraisal of the world as it is, finally let the bastards get him down, and kissed the glock. We live in a world where we're drowning in our own poisons, and the leaders of our country think they can talk an alternate reality into being through repetition of their favorite lies.

2005 was fine for me personally, but even if people are finally seeing Bush's bullshit for what it is, horrible, nasty, evil things had to be rubbed in our faces to bring this about.

Before 2005 I thought the Bush Presidency was just something we just had to suck it up and endure. We survived Nixon, Reagan, and GHW Bush didn't we? But 2005 was the year in which I feel that I, personally, owe the rest of the world an apology for my country. 2005 was the year when the shit really hit the fan.

The frogs are dying, the permafrost is melting, the Antarctic polar cap is breaking off in chunks and floating away. The Amazon is being poisoned with mercury from low-tech gold refining. People are still dying in Iraq. New Orleans (and lest we forget, Mississippi, and the rest of Louisiana) is still trashed, and our country is still being guided by the ridiculous fantasies of a 'C' student, dry drunk, noaccount fool.

Happy New Year!

Moz forever! Where in the world did you get that wonderful shirt that I love so much! I need one of those for my future child.

As far as 2005, It was, I think, one of the most memorable years of my life so far. I spent some of my winter in NYC, some of my summer in Barcelona with the love of my life. I worked and went to school and pushed myself beyond limits I never thought I would surpass. I got my foot in the door of my future writing career, working as a journalist for a local paper.

I've never been so stressed before, and no matter how much I hated it and dreaded every moment, I think it taught me things about myself that I never knew existed.

I think most importantly, I leave 2005 behind with no regrets. I did my best and for me, thats good enough. A brave welcome to 2006.

You probably give us all a lot more with this blog than we give you, and I know that good things don't last forever - how can you put your cleverest thoughts here after your pilot is accepted, or while your next episode needs to be written? But I am glad you haven't ended it just yet.

As for 2005...I'll leave the news analysis to the more patient. On my personal tally sheet, I had a good year - I didn't hurt anyone, and I think I helped a few people. I protected my loved ones, didn't get arrested or fired, and I let myself feel whatever I could feel, even if I got soaked in the process. I got over a few useless crushes, and still dream about others (but that's in the beyond-my-control category). That's about the best I can do.

Welcome back! We missed you. And, I have to say again that I am really sorry about poor little Chopes.

My Insurance Job Performance Assessment is due today as well. I really can't remember what I did here all year, aside from comment on your blog. Ha! I would rather do my 2005 assessment for your blog. Work can wait.

Frankly, I am having trouble getting any perspective about the past year. My mother-in-law died two days after Christmas, and for a while I was worried that my normally stoic husband was having an emotional/nervous breakdown. Happy Holidays it wasn't.

2005 was the year in which I did not lose any weight and did not pull myself out of the financial mess of Internet shopping and living paycheck to paycheck. My hope is that 2006 will be the year of good health and financial stability! I hope to be the master of my own destiny and gain some kind of impulse control in 2006!

Hmmm...like Laurie from Manly Dorm, my job assessment is due today, too. That's the fun of working for a Big Corporation. Lots of Bureaucracy and Form Filing. Ah well, I've got good insurance (thanks, Laurie!), so I'll do it without too much complaining.

So, personally, 2005 was a good year. My son started potty training (note the use of the word "started") and talking in complete sentences, which is helpful. I actually got better at what I do for a living, and I feel like I'm hitting my stride here at work. But the biggest thing that happened in 2005 is that my husband finally found his own calling and started a business. Nerve-wracking, yes. But he is infinitely more happy than 2004 and at least 6 prior years, so for that I am most thankful.

2006 will hopefully bear the fruits of the new business and some much needed financial stability (that won't rest mostly on my shoulders as it currently does), and a new nephew!!! And perhaps Caleb will master the Toilet and learn how to swim.

Yay! Happy New Year everyone!

You really have the cutest kid, Ian. And I say that as the recent grandma of an adorable baby girl. (We'll give our Caroline some time to get up to speed on Total Cuteness.)

2005 was a banner year for me, too, at least in my personal life. I conquered some fears (I'm a "recovering panic/phobia/depression" sufferer), went to a Star Wars convention with a bunch of amazing women I'd never met before, started going to rock concerts for the first time in decades (viva Los Lonely Boys! and White Stripes!), watched our dyslexic son graduate from high school as a National Honor Society inductee, celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary (talk about a triumph of tenacity over temperament!), and ... last but not least, I started blogging.

I'm glad I found you via the Coastopia post. This is a lively place to hang out, thanks to you and your friends and fans. Peace.

2005 was bad here. Except, of course, for the birth of my son in March. :) And, I guess business was pretty good too. I am always thankful I can make a good living from my home -- we're on year seven now!

The good news is that 2006 can only get better.

A few things we've had to cope with: chronic ear infections for little Nico, countless psych ward stays for MIL (oh what a very long story), very serious decline in both FIL and MIL (requiring my husband's stewardship on a daily basis), and to top it off, my precious 2 1/2 year-old Mia broke her leg the day after Christmas.

Don't ever get on a slide with your little ones -- after the fact, I have learned it's one of the top five ways toddlers break bones. She'd be fine if I weren't up there with her.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

I feel like Dickens.. it was the best year of my life and the worst year of my life all rolled into one. For every moment of xtc (sic) there was an equal but opposite agony.

As the sun rises on 2006, I am hopeful and well positioned to enjoy more happiness and most likely a little less despair.

Singing all of the Beatles '1' cd at top volume with 5 others was a nice way to ring in 2006. Let's hope i can follow up that energizing beginning!!!

2005 was my worst year yet. My mother in law's drinking pretty much destroyed my wife's side of the family and in my haste to do the right thing and help, it pretty much destroyed my business.

I lost both of my grandmothers and my cousin, who endured more than anybody should have to at a young age and was finally on a good track, died in an accident.

2006 can only be an improvement.

Ian - 2005, good year, blah, blah, blah. Now, let's get to the important stuff: The National Championship.

I have to say I am a little surprised to hear you say that this was not one of your favorite UNC teams. It was easily top 3 for me (the others being 93 and 98).
How can you not like the Senior Class of Jackie, Jawad and Melvin? From 8-20 to a Championship is a rags-to-riches story for the ages. And, oh yeah, they also endured the Tyrant Doh years in between.
How can you not like Raymond Felton? He had the biggest heart and competitive fire since Phil Ford and Michael Jordan.
How can you not like Sean May? Anyone who can put up 26 points and 24 boards against dook in a victory vaults to the top of my list?
And even though he was here for only 1 year, how can you not like Marvin? He was one of the most humble kids to ever put on the baby blue.
How can you not like the style of play? This team had more highlight dunks in one year than in the past 5 combined.
If you haven't seen it yet, buy the "Team Carolina" DVD (http://tarheelblue.collegesports.com/store/dvd/?partner_id=2788) and watch it. There are great interviews with the coaches and players and a lot of behind the scenes info.
Maybe I am more attached to this team because of proximity and fewer distractions but I think you missed the boat on this one.

Josie and Just Andrew and everyone else who had some big lows during the year: I am sorry, and I feel your pain! Yuck! Let's all hope that 2006 is better.

First, condolences to LFMD and again to the parents of Chopes.

Second, Happy New Year to all!

2005 was probably the best year of my life if for no other reason than the birth of my son. Name the worst possible thing that could have happened and the year still would have been redeemed by my little miracle. Every day with him is a blessing.

And the National Championship was certainly the whipped cream, chocolate syrup, sprinkles and a cherry on top of the sundae that was 2005. I was a senior living it up on Frankin Street the last time we were champs, so it was a bit odd this go around as a pregnant middle-aged, woman sitting on the couch at home, desperate for the buzzer to sound as quickly as possible so I could rest my weary bones.

Any year that doesn't feature a near death experience and a related two week hospital stay is a good year for me. Also, any year in which I'm not shooting up fertility drugs like a crackhead junky - that's good too.

See, it's the little things, really.

Highlights:

- Watching P grow as a father and as a husband
- Bonding even more tightly with my mom, and especially with my little sister, who inspires me to be a better person and mother
- My baby shower (yay for normalcy)
- Our anniversary dinner at Morton's (last big night out before becoming parents)
- Getting my first ever brand new car
- Deciding to build a new house (currently known as "the mud pit")
- Connor's baptism and having my best friend from Carolina become his godmother
- Watching my other little sister become the fourth one of us to graduate from Carolina (P and I graduated from there in '94, S was '97)
- Another year with God's amazing little gift to mankind, TIVO!

Most spirit-crushing lowlight - losing my sweet cat Cobi a few weeks ago. Still having a difficult time coming to terms with it.

I don't know what 2006 has in store for us, but I hope that I always remember that with P and Connor in my life, every year from here on out should be the next "best year of my life."

And today is my birthday! Woo-woo!

I don't think the impact of 2005 and how great it was for me and my family will be felt for quite some time. Suffice to say that it started off perfectly. A Carolina team for the ages, with a last second victory over dook in the Dean Dome, where I was one of the screaming fanatics losing my mind, to spending the entire Final Four weekend at Bub's surrounded by my dear old friends, as the boys brought home the championship. Then the news that my wife was pregnant with our first (due on Valentine's Day of this year) helped me see the world in a whole new way. Your blog, along with "dooce.com", gave me insight to the beautiful new world which awaits my wife and me when our son is born. So, I look back on 2005 as one filled with travel, one filled with joy, one filled with excitement and expectation, one filled with tragedy (Katrina) and one which will mark the last time my wife and I only have ourselves to worry about. Bring on 2006!

Happy birthday, JJE! Thanks for your condolences. And, I am sorry about Cobi. You know, the evening after my MIL died, my distracted husband drove into our driveway and NEARLY DROVE OVER OUR BEAGLE. I saw Tim's mini-van pulling into the driveway, saw my beloved Jack wagging his tail in greeting as the van approached, and I had to sprint from the kitchen to the driveway in seconds to prevent yet another family catastrophe. Can you imagine?! Not only was it the Christmas When Grandma Died. . . it also could have been the Christmas When Daddy Killed our Beloved Pet. Will the horrors of 2005 never cease?

Congratulations to Greg from Winston Dorm! A Valentine's Baby! You guys are all correct about a child making the year wonderful. Although you need to get prepared for the inevitable. Yesterday, when I dropped Helen off at school, as she was approaching her little friends, I yelled out the window, "Sweetie, have a wonderful day! I love you!" She literally ROLLED HER EYES AT ME and said, "OK Mama. Bye." Yes, I had embarrassed her in front of her first grade friends, and yes, I remember what that feels like. But, let me tell you, my heart shattered into a million little pieces when she rolled her eyes at me with disdain, and I cried all the way home. Really. It was the first time that my affectionate little girl iced me in public. I have a feeling that 2006 will be the Year that Mama has to Loosen her Grip on her Baby. Ugh. I don't think my heart can stand it.

Work? Coasting and maintaining, vague discontent, but it got better toward the end of the year.

Family? My elderly mom (age 94) frailer by the day. Better than ever with my husband of 25 years, prouder than ever of my son, launched in his career, independent of us, a good man with a sweet girlfriend. I wish (selfishly) he hadn't chosen law enforcement, but it makes him happy and that's what counts.

Me? I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to, but I kept writing and I kept trying and I kept laughing. So there's that.

i agree on the baby pix, i usually hate them if they are not my own kids, but lucy is an exception, she is packing amazing personality in that small size package.

but about the 2005 year-in-review, i don't think i have ever done that before. once again i prove to myself i am definitely not a writer, it doesn't seem very easy to look at the past and summarize it. i just don't even think about it really, i am all tunnel-vision about what is coming up next.

so in a really un-clever way i guess i would say geopolitically things always suck, just varies by degree. i think on a scale of 1 to 10 with WWII being like a 12 of sucking, i'd probably give last year about a 6.5, maybe adjusted to a 7.25 if you live in asia or the middle east.

on the music front it was a good year for the band with hella press, but we also had member changes which were agonizing, and i had my own idiotic compilation cd project sink into the abyss. but i got great new gear so that kind of makes up for it in some ways.

and i guess the year sucked for my label which kind of drifted into indie label purgatory, but that was also kind of karmically offset by getting a slammin day job.

on the homefront life remains good except for the near choking incident, my 6 yo learned to ride a two wheeler with no training wheels, my 3 yo took up interpretive dance and husband dropped 2 amazing cd's, videos, and tons of singles so that was a good but also created eXtreeme busy-ness type chaos in our lives, which i consider a good problem to choose from the problem-menu.

so now i'm thinking that this summing up thing reminds me of one of those annoying little yearly newsletter things that people send out in their xmas cards that tells you all about their lives that year. yuck...

bring on the new year resolutions blog entry.

JJE, happy bday.
LFMD, I dread the day that my little momma's boy cuddler is too cool for me.

As for the year 2005, I'm just thankful to have had one at all and to be able to spend it with my family. Though I add my 2 miscarriages in '05 to today's tally of unfortunate events, that pales to one coworker losing his 32yr. old pregnant wife to a brain tumor, and another coworker's wife is fighting stage IV bone cancer like a hellcat. Add the war, hurricane, and all front page horror stories, and I definitely had it easy. I have always been a "grass is greener on the other side" person, but this past year I have worked to stop focusing on what others have or are doing and realize that I have it pretty good. I'm grateful for a good guy of a husband, a little son who is the freakin' bomb, a decent job & financial situation, and good health.

I'm just shocked that this decade is half over. personally, my foray into adulthood has both been full of missteps and generally amusing, 2005 being especially notable and borderline great. wish I could say the same for the world at large, which seems like it's not having the best decade (save in the arts and entertainment and all related fields, which if you think about it makes perfect sense on several levels...)

so, here's hoping not only for a successful and fulfilling 2006, but a considerably better end to the decade than the past few years have been.

>>>I'm just shocked that this decade is half over.

Oh geez, I didn't even think of that.

Ugh.

Mmm...Set aside old career, got married, moved across the country, enrolled in law school. Somewhere in there was a psychologically and climatologically miserable vacation in Paris, fun reacquainting myself after long hiatus with photography (thanks to my best-man Peter for the camera recommendation), baking lots of bread and two birthday cakes and eating about 343 meals at the hot bar at Whole Foods, Raleigh, probably breaking the state record, though we left before we could be officially credited. Fear, loathing, joy, vainglory, boredom. The usual.

Wow, thank God 2005 is over. The world seemed to be falling apart at times, and some of you had some real personal tragedies. So hopefully 2006 will be better for everyone.

I have no complaints about 2005 personally. My baby had a gross motor delay (he was very late to crawl and walk) and I took him to the Children's Hospital once a week for 9 months for physical therapy. Let me tell you, hanging out there for an hour every week will make you thankful for healthy and happy children. I have seen so many maimed, burned, broken children this year, it is unbelievable. Then there were the kids with cancer or leukemia, walking around with no hair and their IV poles. I can't think of anything that would make me feel more powerless and insane than having one of my babies get sick or badly injured.

Oh - and thanks to Josie for the tip about the slide - I do that all the time with Henry, but I'll stop now!

I am thankful that I live in a country where I have access to the best health care in the world. I am thankful for health insurance, as much as it sometimes drives me crazy, at least I have it. And I am thankful that every sip of water I drink is clean, and that we Americans are so blessed with abundant food, most of us are overweight.

But mostly I am thankful for my 3 healthy, beautiful babies. They make me feel needed and wanted every day of my life. I know, someday they'll pretend they hate me, but right now, I feel very loved, and that is more than enough.

On a personal level, it was a pretty even-keeled year for me which worries me only because I've had far too many of those lately, I need something amazing to happen.

The Good:
-We bought our first house
-I celebrated my 12th Anniversary at the same job (a job I realize many would die to have)
-We got to spend another holiday season with my elderly grandparents (both 90+!)
-I had more freetime this holiday season to see friends and family both far and near
-A quality Bears season (so far)
-Made my first visit to Lambeau Field (to see the Bears win!)
-My blog had its 1st Anniversary, which has allowed me to keep in close contact with more friends and family than I'd ever imagined.

The Bad:
-For the second January in a row, we had to put one of our cats to sleep (keep your fingers crossed, January ain't over yet and I don't want it to happen a third year in a row.)
-Older houses have plenty of 'issues' which we're learning.
-A frustrating Cubs season (especially with that whole White Sox-winning-the-World-Series thing).

See, aside from having to put poor Vito down (bad) and buying a house (good) it was a year with few peaks or valleys which I guess is O.K.