xtcian

my mommy hurt my head

I remember reading that column back in 1990, and it still kicks ass.

A smartass coed calling grown men the f. . . t word? Now that is class!

Hey, maybe they will still be printing the DTH article when Lucy is a student at Carolina!

It is nice to see the four of you, still friends and still going to games together. Very sweet!

Here at the Insurance Job, there is a car with a Duke sticker . . . the car is always parked near my favored parking spot. I do not know the owner of the car, but I wanted to slash his/her tires this morning! Alas, I refrained.

"You ain't full from what you ate yesterday."

Wow, is Duke accepting North Carolina natives now?

Duke fans are indeed classless. I remember being berated by a young lass as spit flew out of her mouth and she kept stamping her foot because she was so irate I could be at a party in enemy territory. I also remember a pack of fans shouting obscenities at me while making those unsettling "punches into open fist" motions. Oh yeah, I also had a loogie land on my hand while a car full of fans shouting "Duke Sucks" drove by. Oh, I guess these were all UNC fans. My bad.

Well, coming here this morning with a comment like that is pretty classy, too, scotty.

I still think it was a good game. The UNC loss came down to "freshamn jitters", and nothin g else. You've got 1/2 dozen guys who for 3-4 years were THE go-to-guys on their high school teams, and they may just not have realized that EVERYONE on the team is a go-to-guy. It explains the drive down the baseline instead of pulling up for the 3 in the final seconds. Seriously, I though UNC would pull it out solely on the rebound stats. DOUBLE what DUke pulled down, and most of them offensive, that is really just unacceptable.

Oh, and Ian, I don't usually encourage violence aganist anyone, especially women, but it would have been perfectly acceptable to punch those little skanks in the mouth, IMO. Hopefully I am just one Duke fan that isn't hated.

If I had been sitting near those two girls (or guys) and they called me or my friends "faggot", in MY team's house, I would been a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, absolutely abusing them (verbally), until they left the game early in tears. (Although Kevin's suggestion does have a certain flair to it).

There was an asshat in a reDICK jersey at the CAROLINA bar last night. And, when I say it's the CAROLINA bar, it is the sole Carolina bar in town . . . and this asshat knew it.

At halftime, while talking to some friends in the bar who were seated near this guy, they shared with me that they would be cool with the jersey-wearing fan if the guy were classy. Apparently, however, he wasn't and kept starting a ruckus with other patrons--specifically trying verbally spar with a female UNC fan in front of her boyfriend.

At the time I got into the bar where he was located, I had a bullhorn with me, as I was helping to announce the raffle we held for a UNC ball signed by the team. Asshat came up to me and tried to put his arm around me.

I was not in the mood to hear anything this guy had to say and I didn't particularly like the fact he was touching me. So, I put the bullhorn in his ear and said, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."

His little buddy, "Skippy", came up, as though he were going to be a "presence". Skippy couldn't have been 150 pounds, even with his pretty J-Crew sweater and his little granola beard. Even if he would have added a dook letterman jacket and a 75 pound midget, he wouldn't have measured up to me.

Again, I repeated even louder into the bullhorn: "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME." Asshat [and Skippy] wisely moved back away and took his arm off of my shoulder.

dook grads are, after all, very smart.

Scotty, I don't know you and I don't condone violence of any sort against fans. But, unless you have a Manson-esque tattoo that says: "Go dook" on your forehead, why would you welcome an opportunity for taunting by wearing your school's paraphernalia in your enemy's backyard during that game? Either you didn't go to dook and you're one of those bandwagon fans who just doesn't get it . . . or you are a moron.

I graduated many moons ago, but I don't go looking for trouble. You won't find me in a Carolina shirt watching the big game in a dookie den. I don't even watch the game with my lifelong friends from dook for that very reason. Any true fan of either school knows this.

So, sorry that you had a bad experience with UNC fans and sorry that the Jersey-boy (get it, they're ALL from New Jersey) has sore eardrums this morning. If all dook fans were like Kevin, the world would be a much better place.

I thought the game was good and I am proud of the effort the Tar Heels showed. They never backed down and, at the end of the game, it came down to one unlucky break by a freshman. While the folks in Chapel Hill are euphoric today, the blue devils oughtta be a little nervous about their foregone plans for a national title. They are WAY more vulnerable than they care to admit and, for the rest of the season, they won't have the refs on their side giving them game-winning calls.

That picture of you guys at the game speaks such volumes about friendship and loyalty that I likely will have a smile on my face all day.

I have to stand up for Scotty, if it's who I think it is. he could have gone to Duke, Carolina, or the Perth Amboy School of Toaster Repair, and he'd be one of the most stand up guys I've ever known.

I do hate Duke, but I mean hate during the 2 hours of a basketball game, and not in daily life. I went to UNC and I managed to find myself as groomsman to not one, but two, Duke graduates, so I must be able to separate if from real life.

JJ Redick is still the reincarnation of Neidermeyer from animal house, however.

I have to stand up for Scotty as well.

Wait, no I don't. Scott doesn't really give a shit about Dook basketball. He's perfectly happy to see them win, but he's got about a hundred things he cares more about. He was treated badly by some Carolina fans, but mostly he just loves talking shit.

Scotty, next time I see you wearing a Dook hat, I'm gonna teabag you. Then you can complain about the sweet sweet taste of Carolina Deez.

Our 2.8 yr old son's best pal is the product of 2 dookies. Maybe they can battle through this culture of hate and be ambassadors for peace.

Scruggs, first of all thanks for the two page email with the litany of things to consider as newbie parents. Renae was reading it when I left for work this morning, taking everything to heart, as she gets ready to push our boy out.

Secondly, the next time I'm am holding your son during a Lady Tar Heels basketball game and teaching him to cheer for Carolina, I'll be sure to teach him some things to say to his little dook progeny friends. Don't worry, I'll use simple, four-letter words with one syllable! Smile.

Finally, 1/2 of my annual guy's weekend trip (6 years running now, I think) is comprised of 3 die-hard dook fans. I was a groomsman in their wedding and they were in mine.

The beauty of the fierce rivalry is that we can all be great friends . . . except for two hours or so twice (sometimes three and four times) a year. If you think about it, we probably all argue with our spouses more than 4 hours a year.

So, on the balance, the rivalry is pretty tame. Scotty, wear latex gloves when parading around Chapel Hill in your dook shirt and those passing loogies won't even be a bother.

Hey Ian,
In this time of the memoir "truthiness" controversy, I wondered if this article from 1990 was really based on true events? Was there really a Lorna and the pizza fiasco? Just wondering. In the spirit of truth...
Neva

I'm not a Carolina alum, but even I have an all-too-true obnoxious Dookie story.

My school (Northwestern) played a football game at Duke a few years ago. Our group was tailgating right next to a group of Duke undergrads. We engaged in some routine friendly banter with several members of their group, when this exceedingly obnoxious female student ratchets up the hostilities considerably. In an accent that screamed Jersey, she blasted our beloved school and contended that Chicago was a "joke" of a town. (To which we responded, "You say that when you go to school in DURHAM?")

Eventually she took it to lower depths by getting right in our faces and accusing our 40-ish group of being old and pathetic. To which one of my friends quickly responded: "I may be old, but I could make you cum." I have never seen such a perfect expression of apoplexy as the one she demonstrated. She literally could muster nothing beyond a few wet sputters before retreating in utter defeat. A great moment in tailgating history. Oh, and we won the game, too.

Everyone LOVED your column yesterday, Ian. I know tons of people cut it out to save or hang up. I replaced my yellowed, tattered copy from last year with a fresh one from Tuesday's DTH back page.

And this sounds a little stalkerish, but based on the angle of your picture from the game and the pictures that my friends took, I think we were sitting in either the same section, or one very close.

When I mentioned that to my friend Emily today, she said, "The guy who wrote the column?!?! AWESOME!"

Kate, that is so sweet. The DTH will have a place in my heart forever - any success I have, the paper gets proper credit.

Oh yeah, to answer Neva's question - from what I remember writing, it was how I felt things had happened. That story has now been around so long that it is more a memory of writing the story, and not the story itself, know what I mean?

Thanks for the shout outs, Chip and Sean! Sean, I would gladly share a cup of Carolina tea anytime, especially on a cold winter's day. Don't forget to remove your Nutten, you don't want the tea too hot.

I certainly wasn't trying to incite anything yesterday by retelling fan run-in stories, or seem classless by piling on after a win, merely pointing out that fanatics can be assholes regardless of their affiliation. I wasn't wearing in-your-face Duke paraphernalia in any of the three cases of anti-Duke feelings. At the party, someone only had to mention I went to Duke to set the woman off. When the threatening air-punches and taunts were lobbied my way, it was getting into my car that had a Duke sticker in the back window (granted, on Franklin Street) and the looger that landed on my hand was through the open window of the same car while I was at a stop light (also on Franklin Street). The taunts and spit were accompanied by "dook sucks," so I'm reasonably sure it was the Duke sticker.

The Duke fans' actions that Ian witnessed were reprehensible. Talking trash while outnumbered? Not so bright. It's idiotic to rub in a win to a stranger. Unfortunately, we can't choose fans who follow the teams we do. I'm a bigger fan of Duke than Sean would lead you to believe (I'm also a graduate, and we all know Latin for "Duke grad" is "moron") although I like to keep it quiet since I watch a lot of games with UNC fans. Even true UNC fans. Including Ian and Lindsay, two of the truest UNC fans there are. In fact, I'm a little suspicious that Ian and Lindsay don't bleed as Carolina blue as they would like you to believe, because neither one of them has had a heart attack or aneurism in my presence. I should let you know that I'm on medication to prevent me from eating their babies.