5/1/06
Whatever you do, don't watch this video of Finnish group Armi & Danny singing "I Wanna Love You Tender" in 1978. I repeat, DO NOT WATCH IT. You will be scarred, you will need therapy. I have filled bathtubs full of Listerine, dived in, and still I do not feel purged from this.
Also: do not view the Alien Loves Predator cartoons starting from the first one in the archive. Your will to continue your day job will gradually subside, and you'll get dry macular degeneration from looking at the internet for too long.
While you're at it, don't peruse these brilliant cartoons drawn by Nick Gurewitch [fixed - see comments], as it will make you wonder what YOU were doing for the first two years out of college. Drawn in the style of Edward Gorey at one glance, and the "Nancy" comics in the other, these stunning pieces of nihilism will give you the nightmares your inner child deserves.
But whatever you do, don't you DARE watch this video of Kitty versus Puppy! You will be overwashed by gallons of UNBEARABLE CUTENESS!!!!
Anything else not to do today?
Posted by Ian Williams at May 1, 2006 11:14 PMArgh! I resisted everything UNTIL Kitty vs. Puppy. I watched the WHOLE THING! Such cuteness! I want to go to the nearby animal shelter TODAY and bring home a whole bunch of furry cuteness to my home.
If you don't want to sit with you jaw hanging open for 30 minutes, wondering what you did for your 16th birthday, do not watch the MTV Sweet 16 episode with Aaron Reid, LA Reid's son. I watched it last night (not sure if it was a re-run from last week), and I could not get over the arrogance, the privilege, the trash talking, the MONEY. . . ohmigosh! Salem's Little Sister -- did you watch??? I could not believe the whole Kanye thing! I had no idea that LA Reid married Pebbles! I want to be a Hip Hop Mogul's kid! If you watch that episode, you will be HOOKED on MTV Sweet 16. . .like me.
Ian, you gotta watch My Super Sweet 16! It won't renew your faith in the American TV audience, but it will give you an idea of what you and Tessa are up against. . . .your quality screenwriting vs. total indulgent crap!
http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/sweet_16/episode.jhtml?episodeID=97600
LFMD, you are my hero for giving My Super Sweet 16 a shout-out.
It's like a solar eclipse... I shouldn't be watching it, but I can't look away.
Under no circumstances should any of you try to envision A Softer World, attempt to contract the Daily Mumps, or try to caption the Daily Oliver, else addiction will surely ensue.
Kate -- I am way beyond the acceptable MTV age demographic, but I LOVE THAT SHOW. The one last night was my favorite! You just know that there was a lot of strong-arming going on for Aaron Reid's party. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when LA Reid called Kanye on tour and said, "You WILL perform at my son's Sweet 16 Party." And when Aaron said, "I need a performer at my party. I want Kanye West. I will accept nothing less than the best." Can you imagine??
I also liked the one before Aaron's, in which the blond girl got 2 cars for her birthday. Not one. 2. And at the end, the mother, holding two poodles whose hair was dyed pink (to match the party girl's dress, I suppose)says, "Daddy did this all for you, baby girl" as Princess drives away. I nearly gagged. What ingrates! What excess!
Thanks for indulging me. I try to get my husband to watch the show with me, but he just does not "get it." Frankly, he is embarrassed that I love it so!
And now, having ignored all your warnings and clicked ALL your links, I'm leaving to go wash my eyes out with bleach. It's the only way.
I had to do it. I had to check out the Armi & Danny one. UGH! The singing is bad enough but the choreography is haunting. Haunting!
LFMD...why would you do this to me? I can't possibly fit in another life of entitlement and excess reality show. It already draws my husband's ire that Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, Real Housewives of OC, and Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl are locked into our DVR. Now I have to check out this Sweet 16 one, too? OK
And if you haven't seen it, Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents Dinner was not just funny, but dangerously funny. It was so funny that a lot of the audience forgot to laugh. The President and the First Lady left abruptly, apparently offended. But Colbert's performance wasn't vicious, and he didn't but scratch the surface of the material the Bush Administration has handed him.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/04/29.html
My favorite moment, when he said that the staff shakeup at the White House isn't rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, but "the administration is soaring, not sinking! They're rearranging deck chairs on the Hindenberg!"
kent! that was my favorite line as well! colbert was beyond brilliant. as evidenced by almost everyone's response...
Amen on that once, Kent (and Laurie) - methinks Colbert hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial empty head. The silence they substituted for applause reinforces that assertion.
I'm sure that Matt and J.Boogie will now find a reason to break their silence and weigh in - no kitten-commentary for them, but they'll be happy to demonstrate the Right's complete lack of a sense of humor.
Matt? J.Boogie? Why do you hate America so much?
[Doo-wah, Doo-wah, Poo Poo Piddle
Yabba-Dabba-Doo and Dum Dum Diddle]
Do not watch this Fisher/Buttafuoco video unless you want to laugh hysterically in the middle of work:
http://www.gawker.com/news/amy-fisher/amy-fisher-and-joey-buttafuoco-hug-it-out-170614.php
I too was unable to resist Armi and Danny, which was your fiendish plan all along, of course. Now not only can I not get that song out of my head, but I'm having recurring flashbacks of my eighth grade dance routine to "Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Therapy may be my only hope now.
And by the way, did anyone else notice that the ending of that video was a blatant ripoff of "Grease"?
Thanks for the Colbert link, Kent. Brilliantly funny! My favorite line was directed at the generals in the room when he said, "You support Rumsfeld, right? You guys aren't retired yet are you? No? Then, yes, they support Rumsfeld."
And this was my first exposure to the Crooks and Liars site - my co-worker and I are now hooked!
Ooh, I found something that no one should EVER do.
Do not, under ANY circumstances, watch Kevin Federlame jam to his ridiculous song, Popozao. It's terrible to watch, and worse to listen to.
LFMD, here's a story on that 2-car birthday girl that'll really make your jaw drop.
http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/0426marissa0426.html
And good grief, Joe, give it a rest once in a while. I happen to like Colbert (and Jon Stewart). They're funny. If I only watched entertainers that agreed with my politics, I'd watch nothing but Chuck Norris flicks. What I don't do is confuse humor with reality, the latter of which, contrary to the estimable Mr. Colbert, has a clear *conservative* bias.
Ok, I'm sorry, but that Finnish music video may be the greatest thing that I have ever seen. With the possible exception of Mr. Spock's hobbit song.
Umm... just in case people haven't seen that particular piece of crack-induced music video...
LFMD- I am of course a long time fan of Sweet 16. I haven't seen the one you're talking about, but I'll be sure to Tivo it. Did you hear the latest that Brittney and K-Fed may be pregnant again?? Popozao!
Salem's little sister - you definitely need to TiVo the episode that LFMD is talking about. And have either of you seen the one with the girl from Miami celebrating her Sweet 15? She not only gets a car that she's too young to drive, but she also gets a diamond Rolex. A diamond Rolex. Unbelievable.
And as for Britney and Federlame... everything I've seen/heard claims she's 5 months pregnant. Apparently her agent is pissed because Britney was in the running for a film role as Janis Joplin (don't get me started on that) and now she has no chance to take that role or to tour after her new shitty CD drops in November.
Sigh. I love trashy TV and celebrity gossip.
Actually, I don't draw the PBF comic strips.
My friend Nick Gurewitch writes and draws them. I was just a temporary web-host for them.