June 14, 2006
only your hairdresser knows for sure
6/14/06
Seth Stevenson's article in Slate about the joys of boxer-briefs became their top-forwarded story for the week, and it's no wonder: the boxer-brief is such a great idea (and so recently adopted) that I'm surprised there isn't a book about it already.
My boxer-brief trajectory was eerily similar: I wore the standard issue tighty-whiteys all through my childhood until college, when some guys in my fraternity began donning the billowy boxers. After a pledge stunt where we all pulled our pants down at the formal dinner, I was hooked: it was boxers for me, the bigger the better.
Frankly, I don't know how I made it through those hot North Carolina summers wearing nothing but boxers underneath (guys will know what I mean) but perhaps it was like everything else when you're 24: you're too drunk or too unaware of your own body irritations to care. But around 1995 or so, some girlfriend got me a pair of those Guess boxer-briefs, which as far as I know, was the only company making them.
It took a few years to kick in, but I made the massive underwear switchover, and I noticed practically all of my friends did the same. But I'm here to endorse a specific product, one I believe in so whole-heartedly that today's blog salutes it: Gents, let me introduce the The Ex Officio Boxer Brief.
Quite simply, the most comfortable thing you can have next to your skin that isn't another person you're in love with. Superior wicking for those wet hot American summers, and vaguely anti-microbial so's to remain odor-free, this is why mankind made it to the 21st century. When the Ex Officio Boxer Brief isn't lining your ass, it's saving the astronauts on spacewalks, protecting helicopter blades in Iraqi rescue missions, and singing your daughter to sleep.
They wash clean in seconds - you just wring them out and they dry overnight in hotel rooms while you're out kicking ass for the CIA. They will have untimely ripp'd the words "chafing," "flopping," and "riding up my arse" out of your vocabulary.
Yes, they are prohibitively expensive. I have four pairs in heavy rotation for the year, and it shot my clothes budget. But I ask you, gentle blog readers of the male persuasion, aren't your nads worth it?
My Father has worn boxer briefs for as long as I can remember. I think they were simply Fruit of the Loom. It always made me cringe in H.S. when I folded the laundry because I thought they were "old man underwear". Little did I know that my Dad was a cool cucumber!
Of course, now my husband wears them too. If you'd posted this a week ago I would have bought him a pair of the Ex Officio's for Father's Day. Maybe I can find them at Nordstrom.
Ian, you have solved my Father's Day delima! I let James off the hook for Mother's Day by telling him to pay my entry fees and not bitch about me being at a horse show all weekend. In return, he has given me no hints at a Father's Day gift. Are these man-panties suitable for basketball as well as investment banking?
Dude, I'm with ya on the whole boxer-brief thing (made the switch about five years ago from boxers) but for the more budget minded, I present:
http://www.brooksbrothers.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=491&Product_Id=872491&Parent_Id=226I have about thirty pair and know that if I reach the bottom of the pile, I'm way overdue to do laundry. The best-fitting b/bs I own and I have more 'upscale' brands that aren't as good.
there ya go. finally tackling the real issues. awesome.
however, I'm a purist. strictly boxers all the way. I find them far more comfortable than briefs (does anyone even wear those anymore?), and boxer-briefs never really did it for me, feeling and looking a little too much like spandex for my taste. (also, I find them supremely annoying at urinals, same with button-fly jeans.) those ex-officios seem like they could be comfortable and maybe even kinda stylish, but 25 beans is way too expensive for my favas, and I've had no problems with heat or irritation from going on 20 years in boxers (what can I say, I started young.) the key for me is the perfect size and cut -- gap or old navy medium (31-33), not too tight, not too loose, silly designs (they tend to be the most colorful part of my wardrobe), and always (this is important) always cotton. my boys need to breathe.
but ultimately, this is an issue every man has to make for himself. none of us should be forced to succumb to pressure from the respective boxer/brief/boxer-brief lobbies, nor will I have corporate interests, the religious right, and especially my government telling me what I can and cannot wear under my clothes. it's my body, and in a truly free society all men must have the right to choose!
And that's the thing I love so much about this blog: from a philosophical/moral/ethical discussion to a paean on man-panties (SLS, that had me laughing out loud). It's like the toy dispensers at the front of a grocery store when you were a kid--you never know what you'll get, but you know it's gonna be great.
As it says in the book of Elastic-Testes, I mean Ecclesiastes...
..a time to be free (boxers)
..a time to be tight (whities)
..a time to make love (nada)
..a time for good night (for those of us w/kids)
I love this consumerist turn of your blog! Hubby still prefers Lands End all-cotton boxers. So bourgeois. Son goes for Banana Republic print boxers in crazy colors; I buy them at the outlet store. Hmmm, something about the words "Banana Republic" and "boxers" together makes me snicker like an adolescent.
OK, ladies. Wanna start a secondary thread here about the most comfortable bras? I'm wearing a cotton-knit underwire Playtex (talk about bourgeois! got it at Target too) that is da bomb -- comfy and supportive and gives me a nice silhouette. The last is something not to sneeze at when you're at an age when body parts head south. Men, are you squirming with embarrassment or disgust yet? Hee hee.
My husband loves his boxer briefs almost as much as he loves me. Such competition!
I will have to check those out. I have been wearing boxer-briefs for workouts for about a year because you can't run in boxers and, like Ian, I haven't worn tightie whities since I became aware how uncool they were in college.
I was, unfortunately for my college year cool points factor, a tighty whitey wearer. And, even worse, they were the multi-colored little kind, sort of like Speedos. Think Mark Spitz.
Following one particularly forgettable tubing incident over Labor Day, I found myself in Chapel Hill one day longer than my underwear supply and I resorted to wearing a pair of mesh Carolina shorts.
Like these:
http://www.johnnytshirt.com/carolinastore/pDetail.php?sku=11561
It was like nirvana for my "boys". I had room, I had cool fabric that allowed my boys to roam and breathe. And, I got to pull for my beloved Tar Heels all at the same time.
Since that fateful weekend in 1993, that's all I've worn. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one with prohibitively priced undies. It became an issue one time while shopping in Johnny T-Shirts with my wife and she remarked (a little too loud for liking) in the middle of the store: "I'm married to the only man in the world whose underwear costs more than my Victoria's Secret underwear!"
Katie, they are absolutely perfect for basketball. The only thing better for hoops (and in the same vein) are these:
Ken, those Brooks Bros. are awesome, but I found that cotton doesn't wick moisture as much as I'd like. I've switched over to all synthetic stuff for my underlings. The Ex Officio feels softer than cotton, actually.
After realizing there is no God, the second most mind-blowing epiphany of my life was realizing that no man has to wear underwear. Very empowering. It was some years later that I discovered boxers, which approximate the experience of true freedom while saving some trips to the laundromat.
Of course you are a "hybrid" wearer Ian!
My husband is still a tighty whitey man and I love him anyway (and he'll kill me if he finds out I wrote this on the internet)! It's not about what's on the outside anyway.
Boxer briefs are sexy.
I'd like to chime in to discuss an issue that Slate article brings up and which I've discussed with my friends extensively. And that is: the fly of your underwear. It is specifically mentioned in the linked article as being a make-or-break distinction between boxer briefs and "trunks". But here's the thing... of all the men I've asked the question (let's call it a sample size of 20ish), NOT ONE uses the fly. Every one of us pulls down the waistband to do our business. While the fly on the traditional boxer seems easily accessible enough, most of us had tried that route and given up. Not one of us has EVER tried to worm our way out the Y-front. So, I put it to this audience: is my sample somehow skewed, or is the fly itself really insignificant in the choice of underwear?
I have to second Claudia. Boxer briefs are crazy sexy.
Anne, there ARE no comfortable bras. Although the ones with racing backs make me feel like I can conquer any mountain. Bra-tops, on the other hand, are a beautiful thing. A little lift, a little support, a little wicking, a little more skin, less layers, etc. I'm a fan.
When can we start talking about thongs? Or does that have to be on my blog?
I sometimes use the fly. Does that mean I'm bi?
I even think boxer briefs are sexy and yall know about me!
I use the fly as well 80% of the time, even though the fly on boxer/briefs is harder to negotiate than he fly on regular boxers.
Boxer briefs are sexy, for sure. Interestingly (and it broke my heart, just a little), I was at the Carters outlet buying "big boy underwear" for Caleb (my 2.5 y.o.) and was astonished that I had the choice of tighty whities, boxer briefs or straight up boxers. For 2 year-olds!! I opted for the tighty whities with dinosaurs, baseballs and (later at Target) The Incredibles, but have to admit I left the store VERY disconcerted...
So, like, am I the only underwear agnostic? I have boxers and briefs both, and even some boxer/briefs.
I honestly don't care. I will say that for sleeping, briefs have the advantage of not tangling up when you roll over.
And I don't anthropomorphize my nads either. If I'd ever considered it, I was dissauded by reading "Infinite Jest", when one character reported that he called his penis "The Frightful Hog."
I've been a boxer man since approximately 1989. I've never even tried boxer briefs; maybe I'll take the plunge on a pair of Ex Oficios just to try it out.
I use the fly on the boxers most of the time.
I must say, when I woke up this morning, I didn't think I would be discussing fly vs. no fly on the Internet. Ain't life grand...
It can't be the garment that's sexy. It's got to be the territory it covers, and maybe formative field sightings in the past by the beholder. Bras and panties are famously titillating to the fancier of females, and I think a couple hetero women have told me they couldn't fathom it. The idea that boxers could be sexy in the abstract (no wearer specified) boggles my hetero male mind. Flip flops, though, now them's sexy.
As a teenager, I wore tighty whites and bikini briefs. All of a sudden the boxer rebllion occurred. I have hundreds of boxers and boxer briefs. It's great to see that most guys prefer these underwear too...
BOXER BREIFS ARE TIGHT!