this little piggy made me puke
I wasn't going to write a blog, because I think there's only about fourteen people on the Web today, but I just saw all this press about the new surge in flip-flop popularity, and never one to miss having my finger on the carotid artery of pop culture, I have to weigh in.
To wit: I cannot fucking stand men in flip-flops. Sandals are bad enough, but flip-flops make my fucking skin crawl. It's fine at the beach, or somewhere utterly casual, but when men start wearing them to red carpet affairs and to the various meetings we have, I have to draw the line. Step up, gentlemen! I wore shoes to your meeting, and so should you. Your hairy toes and disgusting Man Toenails are so distracting that I can't think.
Call me an old fart, but there's something disrespectful about the flip-flop away from casual environments. Women can wear them all they want, because their feet are generally pampered (and sexy) but men's toes should be heard and not seen. By the way, it's not always appropriate for women either - when the Northwestern women's lacrosse team wore flip-flops to the White House, I was disgusted. I hate Bush as much as your average thinking, sensitive American, but you can bet I would have worn shoes to his home.
Now, doctors are saying flip-flops destroy your heels and ruin your career. What else do you need to know?
Solution? If you absolutely fucking HAVE to go without socks, try those Keen Newport Sandals that Kent, gay men, and I like:
Your feet will have all the oxygen they need, and you can keep them the hell away from me. Frickin' YUCK!
Posted by Ian Williams at June 29, 2006 11:49 PM
Ian, what straight man even notices another man's feet? (Not that gay men necessarily do. And if they did, there would be nothing wrong with it.) I've known some guys since our freshman year at Carolina and to this day, I don't even know if they have feet. I presumed they just hovered.
Unless the people wearing flip-flops are gnawing on their yellowed toenails at the dinner table or propping their feet on your desk at eye-level during your pitch meetings, just don't look down there. The one caveat being, of course, if their feet smell like stale cheese. Then, by all means, insist that they get some fungal powder, socks and shoes.
I used to wear the flip flops that split the big and second toes. I then switched to Birkenstocks. Bought one pair in 1995 and another in 1999. Still have the '99's. My main summer footwear, however, are the Nike "teva-esque" shoes. Got married on the beach wearing them and just picked up a second pair last year. Comfortable. Practical. Water proof (or at least they dry relatively quickly) and cushioned like a regular tennis shoe.
Men in man clogs should be slapped so hard that they fly out of the said clogs and land in a pair of Tevas. Emma, I know the shoes of which you speak. Everytime I've seen a friend of mine in them, I've tried (unsuccessfully) to guilt or ridicule them into something else. My success rate on said badgering is 0%.
Which leads me to think they just might be comfortable. Dang. Well, I can only hope they are prohibitively priced so I wont' even be tempted to try on a pair.
YES! a shoe discussion, happy friday!!
i totally agree, men in thongs = bad, unless you are a professional surfer. i will make an occasional exception for a particularly suave pair of italian leather sandals, but they really must look like something you would wear in morocco. dsquared2 has a pair i particularly like.
the ONLY thongs i own or have owned are this stylish pair from an italian company called "THINK" which i am in love with. about as close to something like birkenstocks as i will get.
i do own a pair of crocs, but they are strictly for the house. more practical than fluffy slippers when you have two large dogs and a cat. i haven't worn plastic shoes out and about since my 8th grade jellies.
but i gotta tell you, i am really not digging those keen sandal things, ian. unless you are on a long distance hike or something. how about the adidas climacool line? breatheable AND stylish, like a sneaker that almost isn't there? or how about the timberland humbolt in dark brown? now THAT is a sharp men's sandal, also very outdoorsy and a great value.
I don't care what people wear. I work at a place with a dress code, and you don't know how much I hate that. I used to be able to wear jeans to work, before they got serious about enforcing it. But at the hospital they can't tell the patients and their families what to wear, so I see every imaginable get up, and some I can't even imagine before seeing them.
But as someone who has had foot problems I take shoes very seriously. Keens and Adidas Superstar 2Gs have that right balance of comfort, cushioning and support.
On the socks-with-sandles tip: I agree that looks pretty awful with shorts -- though Keens with white socks are permissable if you're actually out hiking. But with long pants, especially jeans, socks and sandles are the height of comfort. And I'll tell you why:
What makes for cold feet is constriction and sweat. Socks with sandles addresses both issues. I've been outside in subzero weather in socks and sandles, and my feet stay warm, because they're not constricted and the sweat wicks away instantly. I'm miserable in insulated boots, which are too hot and sweaty indoors. Your feet can stay warm even when its cold, if you give them half a chance.
I'm so confused. I am among the fashion clueless, always have been, doesn't bother me, it is just my lot in life.
Recently there was a long dicussion on the BoB about sandals on men - I've been wearing the sport sandals since they were invented a few years ago. Now I'm hearing that they are unacceptable, but flip-flops are OK. Now I've never owned a pair of flip-flops until last night...
Heading out camping today to I stopped by Wally Mart last night for some supplies and picked up a $1.94 pair of flip-flops.
Now I hear they aren't OK either?
So what can I wear with shorts? I've got my Timberlands that I wear the rest of the year - should I just wear those with socks pushed down around my ankles?
The answer I'm reallly looking for, is what will attract the babes, in droves, preferably?
Hey, Ian, it's been a while. I've been sentenced to 10 weeks in Akron where flip-flops are the the most elegant shoe around. I agree with you. Fine at the beach, the shower at the gym, walking the dog, but nowhere else. Is there really that much difference between a bare foot and a flip-flop? I'm surprised people wearing them are allowed in establishments that prohibit bare feet. I also happen to find them downright uncomfortable. I certainly don't like looking at my gnarly, hairy toes & ugly toenails, and I don't like seeing anyone else's.
And Mom - Brava on your post! What is it with guys wearing no socks in their loafers or sneakers?!? I just did a show with a guy who refused to wear socks. We shared a dressing room, and the first day of tech rehearsal we started to get into costume and I was overwhelmed by a horribly sweet and sour stench that I quickly discovered was coming from his feet AND his shoes. I told him, while gagging, that I wouldn't tolerate that. He obliged and at least wore socks when he came to the theatre.