July 09, 2006
all Alpha's sons shall be
7/7/06
I was asked to join a fraternal-like organization this year, and while I can't give away any details, it has got me thinking about the nature of any particular Group or Phenomenon that has managed to last hundreds of years. There are societies that have been around since the 1700s, there are sororities that have outlasted every prediction of their demise, and there are hoops games that have been going on at my court on Mulberry Street for six years... and they all have things in common.
My rules for success in any fraternal or societal endeavor are as follows:
1) The group must be mutually selective.
2) The group in question must have an alarming turnover rate.
3) The turnover rate must be high enough to enrage/disappoint/alienate older members.
Being mutually selective is easy - it just means that your group only has people that didn't care for any alternatives. This was particularly true of my fraternity at Carolina (Chi Psi), a membership that was primarily composed of guys that wouldn't have felt comfortable anywhere else. Nobody ever had to choose between us and the DKE house, because there was virtually no cross-social pollination between those two groups.
The same goes for the hoops game on Thursdays. It's a particular kind of game, not too slow, not too fast, that would flummox beginners but bore varsity athletes. You learn within the first forty-five seconds if the pace is right for your skill set. The Pink House, too, was a case study in self-selection.
HOWEVER - the "alarming turnover rate" is a little more difficult for people to grasp, because it requires members of a certain beloved society to relinquish control, and nobody likes doing that. We had fights that lasted until four in the morning over the future of our fraternity, furious battles waged by people who now can barely remember they were there.
Tessa hosted an evening at The Moth in late 2000, and it was a wild success, featuring Patti Griffin and Josh Shenk. The Moth has continued to pack audiences in the hundreds, and remains a cultural force in New York City. However, if you were to take a snapshot of the audience at Tessa's Moth, and compared it to a snapshot of last month's Moth, I predict a crossover of less than one percent.
The only way for a group to remain viable is to completely gut the membership on a seemingly-often basis, and hope the underlying structure is strong enough to withstand the influx of people who don't give a shit about the past. The Moth's underlying structure? Excellent storytelling on an emotional tightrope. The Mulberry hoops games? Slightly laid-back basketball in a gorgeous setting. Chi Psi? Young people who temporarily love the idea of brotherhood, along with a little bit of drinking and easy mixers with lots of gorgeous Southern women.
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Chip, Ricky Bell and me, Chi Psi Coffehaus, 1989
The names all rotate, and the elders always complain about how much better things used to be back in their time, how they had kegs in the dorms, how everyone was so much smarter and funnier. But their disillusionment is an important fuel in getting them to move on, so that the greater organism can breathe.
I keep this in mind as I try to create my own traditions, in hoping that a flexible guest list and constant new blood always influxes our farm and our various Jartaculars. If the day comes when someone tells me they used to be so much better, I'll know they'll be around forever.
Posted by Ian Williams at July 9, 2006 11:37 PMare you going to become a bohemian grover?
A Saturday morning Post? That bodes for a good weekend ahead. Thanks for the surprise.
Oops, this was meant to publish Monday. Ah well, it'll be Monday's blog too.
Oh my god.
I thought we were grown ups in 1989.
i'm guessing knights of columbus.
funny you mention the joining thing because i'm wondering right now why i bother trying to join anything, i always wind up really annoyed and sticking with it longer than i should. it's just hard for me to feign interest in a large number of people, and the people i can't stand seem associated with me as members of the group.
plus the group will just suck the goodness out of the one or two things that are awesome, by tacking on really irritating shit as well. so then instead of just being associated with the group's good stuff, all the members who joined when it was all good wind up representing the group's idiotic stuff.
i stuck with my college sorority longer than i should until i just hated it by the end, and looking back overall i'm definitely happier about the things i've either quit or refused to join right at the outset.
but i'm an all or nothing kind of person, i'm either fully engaged or not at all, i can't join something just to go to a couple of parties and make small talk. keep it at a distance doesn't really work for me, although that would be a good approach.
a line item veto would also work for me. if i had a line item veto i could join a group.
Funny you bring this up as they're tearing down a Moose Lodge just around the corner from our house to make room for...wait for it...condos. It got me to thinking, I'm in my mid-30's and I don't know a single person under 50 that is in one of those 'adult' service organizations/frats. I see Masonic Lodges, Elk Lodges, Moose, VFW, Oddfellows (they really exist, not just an R.E.M. song) Shriners (the guys with the cool mini-cars) all over the place and I've never heard of anyone I'm acquainted with saying that they're a member of any of them.
I guess it makes sense then that they're tearing down the Moose lodge since it would appear that nobody joins those organizations anymore. I'm kicking myself now though because it would've made a really great medium size (250 people) rock club.
I am an AFTRA/SAG Member and I figured at a meeting at some point one of the older guys might mention being a Mason or even in Rotary Club but I've only gotten an invitation to join a ham radio club from one of the radio engineers, which I politely declined.
So Ian, should you join the Elks or whatever club invited you, you would the first person I know to be in one of those groups. Way to go.
I've been a member of the Junior League for a few years now and I'm at the point where I'm considering dropping out. I joined it originally as a way to meet new people and have an organized commitment to doing volunteer work (I'm not great with self-scheduling).
The first couple of years accomplished those goals, but now...it's just not fun anymore. I'm doing an in-house placement writing for the local JL magazine instead of community work (loved being a mentor) and I'm not really meeting anyone that way. Plus I have such a great, active mommies group that I really don't even need another outlet for my energies. I'm pretty much zapped just chasing my one year old around all day.
But I hate the thought of quitting, so I'm sucking it up and trudging onward.
I'd add that our membership skews really young, so I guess at least in our area, it's one adult service organization/"sorority" that appears to be alive and kicking.
Anyway, this blog kinda reminded me of the Clef Hangers. I adore them - they sang at my wedding reception - but they were soooo much better and wittier and even cheesier (but in a good way) in the early '90s. I don't know what happened, but they're just not the Clefs of yore.
Really posted because I wanted to say congratulations to Sean and Jordana. Can't wait to read about the adventures of Lucy and "Esteban!" ;-)
Ian, Did you see SI.com's 15 Greatest College Athletes list? I did not know Jim Brown was an All American/College Hall of Fame Lacrosse Player. I suppose that explains the history of sexual assaults. Sorry, cheap shot.
Congratulations to Sean and Jordana! Esteban is in the House! Go Esteban! Go Esteban! We're gonna party like it's your birthday!
Cute little profile, Esteban! Someone please post photos of Jordana over the next few months. From past photos, I know that she is so lovely and delicate and slender. . . I can't imagine such a petite person pregnant!
Salem, saw the article as well, but not bad getting Jones and Peppers in the 15.
JJE, you former sorority girl, you...break free from those JL chains :-)
I pulled up Sean's blog to see what this baby talk is about. The whole "quickening" thing has always freaked me out because I associate the word primarily with Highlander and expect lightening and Queen to show up.
JJE - I'm also in the Junior League and have been having the same internal struggle. I work full time & have two kids and sometimes feel that the group - despite all the protestations to the contrary - is truly designed for young professionals and stay at home moms. However, I balance that with the really impactful things I've seen JL add to our community and the incredibly cool women who are part of the leadership team. Of course they're also the ones with the great careers, perfectly behaved children, and the gorgeous houses in Five Points etc. who make me feel like an underachiever. The inferiority complex grows by reading this blog daily and all the folks on here who are out saving the planet on a regular basis. However, that actually was why I was such a Chi Psi groupie back at UNC. At all those mixers & cocktails, I knew I was meeting boys whom I would be reading about in the future.