July 17, 2006
dressed in tricolour and phrygian cap
7/17/06
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My sweet darling, wonderful little Lucybug:
Last week, without any of us knowing it, you turned fifteen months old. Admittedly, when it get past a year, the "every three months" thing starts to get a little silly (along with mothers introducing us to their "twenty-five-month olds" - sheesh) but I wrote to you every season of your first year, and I thought I'd do so again.
I won't say much, because words barely express the kind of joy you spread around each world you stumble upon. Sure, you have an "annoyance scream" that sets off car alarms three counties away, but most of the time you run around with your hands in the air, babbling happy new-found syllables of increasing complexity.
I started a list of words you were using, but I gave up, because you repeat everything and know shit we never taught you. The other day, I decided to test you and asked where my "lips" were. You grabbed my mouth and laughed. I have no idea where you could have learned this, other than "the street."
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above: with her Grandpa. below: with her great-great Auntie Donna
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We're starting to get invitations from people we don't know - playmates from your afternoons in the park, boys from the Kidnasium (which sounds, to me, like "kidney museum"). I come home from a day in the writing cellar to find your scribbles pasted to the refrigerator by your babysitter Laura, along with little objets d'art. You are having this experience completely outside of me and your mother, and it's obvious you're learning both Spanish and English in miles per second.
About the Spanish thing. Laura is Hispanic, and your mom is fluent, but I have no idea what the hell any of you are saying. I do know, however, that you say "fruta" wrong, because it's a little rude to scream "PUTA!" at the nice Mexican ladies who are selling fruit at the Farmer's Market.
When you learn new words and squeal with delight - like you did this weekend with "buildings," "truck," "signs" and "outside" - it's like I'm experiencing the nascent joy of language right there with you. When you grabbed my racquet and said "tennis," we both jumped up and down and danced.
You eat everything in sight but seem to gain no weight. Your mother says it's like living with a teenager on the high school football team. The only thing you don't seem to like is cheese, but it doesn't stop you from saying it all the time. I understand, I love saying "cheese" too. It just feels right, doesn't it?
I could do without the constant wardrobe changing - ever since you learned the concept of "off," you want to try on everything you own in rapid succession. It really becomes an opera, especially with shoes. Sometimes I'll be rocking you to sleep, and you'll be silent for ten minutes, then suddenly look deep into my eyes and say "shooooes..." dejectedly. It's truly sad, but I always laugh so hard that we have to start all over.
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People ask us about being parents, and whether or not we like it, and we're always a bit cagey with our response. This rigmarole is not for everybody, and I admit, even with extensive training and a huge sea-shift in my circadian rhythms, the mornings are still agony. You need the patience of Job, Ruth and Lot. I know several people who should not even consider it. But what we can say is this: we're not sure about being parents, but we absolutely LOVE being your parent.
What was it we used to say when looking for a date in college? Smart, funny, and relatively cute? Well, you seem smart enough, and I suppose you're something of a cutie-boots, but JESUS ABOVE you make us laugh ALL DAY LONG. And for that, I'd like to thank you most of all.
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Love, Daddo.
Oh, that made me sooooo happy! What a beauty she is.
"Puta!" indeed-- I am certain the fruit-selling ladies forgive Lucy happily, because she is so preciosa!
And ditto on the joys of language acquisition!! Isn't it amazing to watch that unfold--and what a gift she is giving her daddy, lover of language that he is--a rebirth of wonder.
Blessings on you and your beautimous family.
Too cute indeed and being parents is certainly fun in Biblical proportions. Kids are righteous prophets man. Word to yo mama.
That letter and those pictures turned my cranky mood completely around. Thanks!
I just laughed and laughed at an image of Lucy saying "Puta" at the most inopportune times. She looks like such a sassy thing. Keep posting these cute stories and photos; they are putting my mind at relative ease. We're freaking out a little bit about having a girl coming up next after being used to our momma's boy son. I don't know if I can do pink and princesses!
You may want to strike out any reference to ole Lot. Wasn't known too much for patience one way or another, but his daughters did get him drunk so he could knock them up. Resourceful.
This seems as good a time as ever to hijack the parent commenters and ask a quick parenting question: My husband and I were talking about how we know nothing about being parents, and how there are a zillion books with a zillion contradictory parenting "styles". I really wasn't into reading any "how to" books about this, but I think one or two reference books recommended by you experts might be helpful. Or not? Thanks. Happy Summer, Lucy!
Deb,
Our best reference was the Mayo Clinic's book on pregnancy and the first year. Very helpful for that time period.
RE: parenting books, I suppose it depends on your style. We're a fan of Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting book, except for his sleep advice. His website (askdrsears.com) has reasonable advice for other reference type situations. [correct Tylenol dose, is this just a cold or the plague, etc.]
So darling! She is a light for us all, thanks to this blog.
I remember when my kids were that age, I almost literally wanted to eat them up, swallow them whole, I loved them so fiercely and they were so delicious in every way. Enjoy -- each childhood age is fleeting; trust me. :-)
I was looking into the Sears book, and went to his website to learn about Attachment Parenting, but the sleep stuff kind of freaked me out. While I don't put anyone down for doing that, I don't think it's for us. Just having "attachment" in the philosophy's name is a little disconcerting, as well. But I've really liked the Sears' "Pregnancy Book" so far, so maybe I'll give it a try. And the Mayo book. Thanks!
Deb, congrats on your exciting news. "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting" by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn is a collection of essays on riding out the ups and downs of parenting. It helped me stay sane during my first son's first year, when my mom was fighting breast cancer (since recovered), none of my friends had kids yet, and my husband was traveling every week, all week long. When I felt like I was losing the plot, I'd dip into this book for some wisdom and perspective.
Estoy feliz que Lucy esta aprendiendo espanol, una lengua muy importante en los estados unidos. Ian, estas aprendiendola tambien? Puedes, especialmente porque tu esposa y tu hija ya la sabe! (Sonrisa)
Yo Deb, I just saw your comment about the sleep stuff freaking you out. Me, too, by the way. Nearly all of the books will have stuff that freaks you out and stuff that inspires you. As La Leche League (another source of some info that freaked me out and some info that proved really helpful) suggests, take what you want and leave the rest.
Claverack Weekender - Weren't you going to run in the London Marathon a while back? How did it go?
Deb- I know it is sort of basic, but I read the What to Expect books almost nightly before and after the birth of my first child. After the second, I didn't seem to have any time to read anything.
Ian - What a sweet little girl you have.
She's truly beautiful! Generally, an early talker....Dominic, the same age, has vernacular but few real words at this point.
Thanks for sharing Lucy's progress with us; It's always a good read!
rock on little lucy!
@deb - the hipmama survival guide. classic. written by a cool friend ariel gore. the zine hipmama is equally good.
i definitely did attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping, which is all ala dr. sears. if the co-sleeping is the only thing that freaks you out, you can try a thing called a "co-sleeper" which is basically a little safety zone extension for your bed. just stay clear of dr. ferber and you should be all set.
funniest thing is when i told my mom i was basically doing 'attachment parenting' and explained what it was, she said: oh, we used to just call that 'parenting'
Thank you, thank you thank you....such good info., as I suspected.
beautiful as usual. both the baby and the love letter.
Must be another weekender. I ran NYC in '94 and swore I would never do another one. I had a traumatic experience at mile 24 when a guy running in a rhino suit passed me.
p.s. The co-sleeping was actually great for a while, but got old fast when my kid still wasn't sleeping through the night after a year. The "no cry sleep solution" didn't help us so we had to move on to the cry sleep solution, i.e. Weissbluth.
Haaa-Ha!! Haven't been back here for months and I am suprised with another beautiful Lucy post - this time not one about tragic head injuries. *The Joy* Sorry I missed meeting you, Ian and Tessa, at Jif and Ingo's wedding - but looking at - and reading about Lucy's verbal precociousness makes me miss meeting her even more! She seems like a great kid - and vibrant photography as well!
Emma - methinks your comment about the London Marathon was directed at me. Last we spoke, we were discussing music to run to, which looking at Ian's recent entries, I am sure he has one or two opinions about as well.
Yes, London Marathon was absolutely amazing. Thousands of people out in full regalia (rhino suits, too - but also a couple getting married along the way) and of course crossing the finish line in front of Buckingham Palace..priceless. Marathoning brings out the extremest of emotions in people. My feelings couldn't have been more different than those of our friend Claverack Weekender here - I say, bring on NYC in 2007! See you at the starting line...Ian? Emma?
Coming from a family where merely mustering a verbal "I love you" would probably be very uncomfortable for my father (though it should be noted that there's no doubt that he does, indeed, feel that way), your ability to put your thoughts and emotions into words never ceases to impress. Kudos.