xtcian

Oh dear God, I was hoping to find some good reading for today. . . and I see this?! Sorry, my friend, I have no original thoughts. . . all I can do is respond to other people's creative/original thoughts.

Let's see, I could go on and on about the finale of "The Hills," or chat about "Flava of Love 2" or even "Project Runway", but I don't think you have a big enough audience for that.

How about this. I always like to watch the responses to the questions that James Lipton poses to his guests on "Inside the Actor's Studio." I can't remember them all, but perhaps I can start and we all can share!

What's your favorite curse word?: Godd*mn F*cking Sh*t!

What career would you like aside from your current one? Author/writer.

What career would not not like to have? Surgeon or police officer. Too stressful. I would implode.

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? "Hello Laurie. Your grandmother (and other family members) are waiting to see you."
BTW, Sarah Jessica Parker made me BAWL when her response was "SJP, please let me introduce to you Mr. James Broderick"!

What is your favorite sound? My daughter's laughter.

What is your least favorite sound? Mothers screaming at their kids in public.

What is your favorite word? Mama. As spoken by my daughter.

What is your least favorite word? The f bomb.

That's all I got today. Hope you are feeling better.

sorry to hear about the food poisoning, I've had it a few times and you have my deepest sympathies.

I'll take a stab at the questions posed above,

What's your favorite curse word?: G*ddamit!

What career would you like aside from your current one? Archeologist

What career would not not like to have? Teacher, just too much work and responsibility for too little credit and respect

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? Welcome and what would you like to know?

What is your favorite sound? Someone laughing at my jokes/anecdotes.

What is your least favorite sound? fingernails on a chalkboard

What is your favorite word? Yes

What is your least favorite word? "Whatever" - It's so dismissive, it is basically saying to someone that their opinion is so insignificant that they are not even worth arguing with.

I would like to add another question in honor of Ian's gastrointestinal issues.

What is the wierdest food combination you've ever enjoyed?
For some reason as a child I (and yes this is gross) enjoyed eating grape jam or jelly on raw hot dogs. Yes I now know what goes into hot dogs and know how gross it is in hindsight, but I loved this as a kid.

Fun! Thanks, LFMD. Ian, feel better soon!!

What's your favorite curse word? Fuck.

What career would you like aside from your current one? I always wish I were a vet when my animals are sick.

What career would you not like to have? Politician. Augh.

What would you like God to say when you arrive at heaven? I don't believe in heaven, though I'd like to.

What is your favorite sound? A paperback book that makes pleasing crinkly noises when you crack it open. It reminds me of bedtime stories with my dad.

What is your least favorite sound? Car alarms or the Mister Softee jingle.

What is your favorite word? Love.

What is your least favorite word? No.

What's your favorite curse word?: Arrgh, Fucker!

What career would you like aside from your current one? Movie Star!!

What career would not not like to have? Social worker. I'd end up losing my heart to so many families.

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? " We are all here and we've been with you the whole time. Now go hug your dad."

What is your favorite sound? My little boy yelling "Ma-ma" with laughter in his voice

What is your least favorite sound? People chewing their food. Gag.

What is your favorite word? Ben

What is your least favorite word? can't

Wierdest food combo? Chick filet chicken nuggets covered in mayo. Salem did it so I did too.

Great idea LFMD! By the way, I'm disgusted with Lauren.
I want a show about Whitney. Have you seen One Ocean View? I hate to love it.

SLS -- I have been waiting for you to surface! I knew you'd be watching "The Hills"! I was screaming at the TV that night. After all the fighting, the near-break-ups, the drama, she still picked him over a real life cool job opportunity with Paris Vogue? Good grief! My questions are many, the most of which are: 1) where are the parents in this scenario? Pardon me, but if Ben and Helen wanted to shack up for the summer at age 18 or 19, I think you and I would have something to say about it. And, 2) Who is paying for the Malibu "rental" for the summer? When neither one of them seems to have a discernible job with any income. Ugh! I am so sick of shows about rich kids. Yet, I am drawn to them like a moth to a flame!

Thanks for the tip about One Ocean View. I am so there!

Thanks all for going along with my Q& A. I feared that my suggestion would be so lame that no one else would comment.

The Other Lee: interesting food choice! I have always loved peanut butter and Fluff, but I suppose that is not strange.

Beth: thanks for commiserating with me about my car crash the other day. I am glad that I am not the only one who does such things.

Feel better, Ian!

What's your favorite curse word? "Unclefucker."

What career would you like aside from your current one? Medical doctor.

What career would you not like to have? Cable technician.

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? "We've been expecting you."

What is your favorite sound? Any lack of construction.

What is your least favorite sound? Construction.

What is your favorite word? "Assy."

What is your least favorite word? "Injectables."

Nicely done, LFMD!

Hurrah for LFMD -- you've saved the day. Maybe we can bring a smile to poor Ian's face with our answers.

What's your favorite curse word?: Goddammit

What career would you like aside from your current one? Bassist in a blues-rock band

What career would not like to have? Pediatric oncologist

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? Stevie Ray Vaughan is waiting to greet you over there.

What is your favorite sound? ATM, Henry Garza's guitar on "Oye Mamacita"

What is your least favorite sound? "Oops." (from teenaged son in the next room)

What is your favorite word? Can

What is your least favorite word? Should

Feel better soon, Ian!

My Tivo cut off the last five minutes of the Hills and I haven't been able to find a rerun of that episode (only the one where Jordan breaks down crying and forvever becomes part of MTV humilation lore). But the "disgusted" comment by salem's little sister leads me to believe she chose Jason over the Paris internship? Please say it ain't so.

Favorite curse word: Dammit

Career you would like to have: Movie or restaurant critic

Career you would least like to have: telemarketing

What you would like to hear God say: "So far, you've done good. Welcome."

Favorite sound: Computer saying "Mail truck"

Least favorite sound: Alarm clock

Favorite word: Responsibility

Least favorite word: Irresponsibility (except when being sung by Joe Farmer)

Weirdest food combo: I used to dip my popcorn in my Co-cola at the movies. The popcorn would make a funny sizzling noise when it reached the drink.

Lara -- Lauren did indeed chose cocky Jason over the Vogue job. Unbelievable! Oh, and I loved the Jordan crying episode. Heidi: "I can't do this anymore." Jordan: sob, sob, sob. After he gave her that little Paris Hilton dog and everything!

Hey, why aren't any men participating in this Q&A? Men love James Lipton, don't they? Men have favorite curse words, no? Sean? Cris -- did you watch the Hills? Caveman? Are you out there?

LFMD- My BF and I have both wondered the same thing about parents. I can't imagine the cost of their apt. and beach house. Could MTV be sporting the bill? The new season of Laguna starts soon and these girls are even nastier than last time. What is it that attracts us to these terrible shows?? We are mommies and UNC grads! Why do I totally dumb down in my TV choices? I'm just glad things weren't like that when I was in school.

Kate from DTH- Is there anything exciting going on in Chapel Hill Saturday, August 26th? My BF and I are visiting another friend for the night. Just wondering.

To the Other Lee: not sure if you are male or female. Don't mean to diss you if you are a man.

I am shouting out to other men: Chaircrusher! Bud! Chris! Just Andrew! Salem! GFWD! What's your favorite bad word?

Ian -- are you there? In the bathroom? Praying to the porcelain temple? I am sure that you have some favorite expletives!

What a great site!!! My buddy, Jen, told me about it and I'm hooked on the first inhale!
Sorry to hear about the food poisoning...my most memorable case of it happened on my 13th birthday from eating an eclair! As I recall, I was convinced during the throws of it that I'd never see my 14th birthday - and it would have been a relief!!

Love Project Runway...but no winner predictions yet. Haven't watched The Hills 'cause I can't stomach another new millenium Beverly Hills 90210.

Oops.,gotta go work! Check in with you layta..

SLS -- I totally dumb myself down in my tv choices. Part of me wants to see what teenagers these days are like. . . so that I can prepare myself for what is ahead for me and my daughter. However, I don't think I'll be paying for Helen to shack up in an oceanfront mansion, or for a Sweet 16 Party with Kanye West as a guest, so I can't get any kind of real-world parenting preparation from it. I guess I just love trash!

Do you watch Run's House? I love it! Rev Run is like Bill Cosby for the new millennium. Perhaps I will look to Rev for my parenting cues.

ian, good luck beating the food poisoning! you poor thing. i hope neither tessa nor lucy also consumed whatever got you ill.

i haven't time to answer the questions (but enjoyed reading everyone else's).

re/ project runway, however: thai tv doesn't carry it, but during homeleave this summer i've become addicted to it. i love "you're out"" and "we're gonna have a little chat" in heidi's cute little german accent and all that. i cannot believe they threw out malan so early. i lurved him and his fiendish cackle. but angela, she of the pouffy skirts and rosettes, must go. i love victor's gallows humor and kayne's flaunting his southern-ness (i'm splitting my summer between alabama and the florida panhandle, after all). my prediction for this season's winner: smooth michael from atlanta or laura the architect/mother of five. they've consistently shown fantastic style and good attitude.

anyone else want to share thoughts on project runway?

look at that. i could've answered the lipton questions by now. oh well, back to work...

favorite curse word: "are you fucking kidding me?"

career i'd like: movie critic

career i'd hate: mortician

favorite sound: opening notes of any favorite song on a Dead bootleg

least favorite sound: construction (especially
in chapel hill)

what i'd like to hear God say: "your table with dick schaap is ready,and the cubs' world series victory party starts after dinner."

favorite word: surrealism

least favorite words: christian laettner

weird food combo: peanut butter snickers cut into pieces and mixed into a Wendy's Frosty

My reaction to Lauren's completely boneheaded, short-sighted decision: see favorite curse word above. What an absolute moron.

Props to LFMD for pinch-hitting, and please get well soon Ian.

The only good thing about food poisoning (had it three times so far) is that, although I'd heard people say that this-horrible-thing or that-horrible-person "made them sick to their stomach" all my life, until I had food poisoning, I had never actually felt sickened, physically by the mere thought of something before that fateful bad-chicken-at-subway day. On that day (well, evening), the thought of cruelty actually made me wretch.

Favorite curse word: sumbitch

Career you would like to have: rock/jazz/blues musician

Career you would least like to have: third-shift factory worker

What you would like to hear God say: "Good job, dude. C'mon in and here - take a hit of this."

Favorite sound: Girlfriend's voice.

Least favorite sound: car horn blown in anger

Favorite word: Yes!

Least favorite word: occurred (or other passive voice verbs used to avoid responsibility/blame)

Weirdest food combo: I put cumin in tomato sauce sometimes. Or maybe salmon on pizza is weirder....

Bangkok Mama! I am hoping that Laura wins it all! Any woman who is a mother of 5 and still manages to put on a skirt and lipstick deserves props, never mind gigantic props for fighting it out on Project Runway. Go Mama of 5! I miss Malan too. He was so strange and morose. . . .I wanted more! Yeah, Angela is just trying to ride everyone else's coattails. I think the guy who used to work with Isaac Mizrahi might win. What about Victor, for whom everything is "the worst experience of my life?" Ugh. I love all the drama!

gaaa! as another gambit to avoid getting my work done, i decided to google malan after seeing lfmd's description of him as strange and morose (which is spot on, plus a dash of sardonic whimsy)...and guess what? he's got a blog! http://malanbreton.blogspot.com -- very interesting, indeed. now i MUST drag myself back to work. wah!

p.s. laura rocks. did you notice last week how salty she can talk? my mom said she looks like chanel but talks like a longshoreman (no offense to longshoremen, i'm sure they never swear).

that sucks. last time I had food poisoining (back in march), it hit me when I was out one night and I puked all over pico boulevard and the manicured lawns of hancock park. more recently I had a rash on my forehead but thankfully it went away (since it was totally gross!)

in other news...

meg had a rough week so I bought her an ice cream cake on sunday (baskin-robbins, cookies and cream, yum! I highly recommend...) here's how I know she truly did have a bad week: she's an actor. she ate the cake.

this kid in my building just went off to an ACC powerhouse to play football and study accounting. he was a star first at culver city and then hollywood high and he never had his house keys, which is how we became friends. I never knew he was a football star and didn't much care (though that level of talent and work ethic is impressive, and you can kinda smell how hungry he is) -- he was just a goofy little kid in an enormous man's body. (seriously, at least twice my size this guy...) last week I went with my friend momo to his going away party. (read -- a high school party. I know. still,) it was actually incredibly fun (read -- it was a rager. we got trashed. believe me, I know.) and a glimpse into a world people in my demographic (for better or worse) never get to see.

also, I'm really proud of the guy. I hope he does great.

here's a joke for all you parents out there: this kid asks his mom how babies are made. she says the stork brings them. kid goes ok, but who fucks the stork?

I'm avoiding calls from my agent. my manager is avoiding calls from me. I have a deadline I'm scrambling to make (no more high school parties for me!) my draft is good, tight and funny (unlike my xtcian.com posts -- half-baked and long-winded bursts of free association and bad grammar, with a little sass thrown in for good measure), now I just need to rewrite the ending.

the mets are either gonna win the world series or lose in 5 to detroit.

talledega nights is good. the wire is exquisite. the chicken salad at tidal wave might be the best in the world.

that's all I got. oh, and my sister just got engaged and my high school english teacher died. he was one of those teachers and only in his early 60's. so it's sad.

feel better!

What's your favorite curse word?: Fuck you

What career would you like aside from your current one? Writer

What career would not not like to have? Teacher. My pupils would hate me.

What would you like God to say when you arrive
at Heaven? "Close your eyes and relax, welcome to the eternity"

What is your favorite sound? My boyfriend when he says "I love you"

What is your least favorite sound? My boyfriend crying

What is your favorite word? Butterfly

What is your least favorite word? Busy

Wierdest food combo? I had a friend who used to eat jam with chocolate sauce...

___

Get better!!

BEM -- I just spent the last 20 minutes reading Malan's blog. He is something else. His blog is the first one I have read with a completely black visual background. . . but of course! He is Malan. And, your mom is right about Laura. She is all class and elegance, and then she can verbally rip her competitors to shreds. A mom after my own heart. What do you think of the guy with the tattoos all over his neck?

Ian, I can't engage in this kind of blog chatter tomorrow, or I may be fired! I didn't do anything work-related today! But it was fun!

Um, how are you?

LFMD great job as "sub" today!
I've always been fascinated by those questions and now that I have a chance to respond, the old brain stumbles...

Favorite curse word - sh*t, sometimes, "f*ckin' sh*t)!

Job I wouldn't like to have - President of any country

Job I would like to have - teaching ESL again (our school closed after Katrina and I miss my students with a heartache)

Worst sound - leaf blowers, especially early Saturday morning

Best sound - my 14-month-old granddaughter Lucy imitating me saying "O, my God" with my exact intonation.

Favorite word - teacher

Least favorite word - vomit (sorry Ian, hate to bring up something unpleasant)

weird food combo - saltine cracker, pat of butter, and a dash of Tabasco

What God might say at heaven's gate - "Surprise, surprise, surprise, you can now have your 21-year-old body back!"

Ian, hope all the bad stuff is out of your system by now and that you're feeling lots better.
LFMD, thanks for your very entertaining instigation today!

LFMD and Salem's little sister: According to Perez, Lauren and Jason just broke up!! Woo hoo! http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/reality_television/there_must_be_something_in_the_water_20060808.php
Oh -- I also heard that MTV put them up in that apartment...

lfmd: 1. yes, great guest-hosting today! hope it didn't set you too far back on your workload. me, my deadline is midnight tonight (which is noon wednesday in bangkok, where my editor is) and i've only just finished the piece. still need to edit it. gaaaa to the nth! 2. good observation about malan and his black blog background. reading his take on getting kicked off really brings home that real human beans are doing these shows. re/ the tattoo neck guy, i haven't much of a read on him yet. didn't like him at first, but after keith screwed him and alyson over, then he and alyson went on to tough it out just the two of them to make a really rad outfit, i like him a bit more now. that tattoo must have been p-a-i-n painful to get!

ian, i hope all the toxins have left your body by now, or will soon. food poisoning is a major bitch. i hope you can get some rest tonight. good luck!

Wow, an honorable mention in one of Ian's recent blog entries and a shout out from LFMD. What a day. I'll participate and share my version of Laurie's list. By the way, nice job on stepping up after Ian put his spotlight on you.

What's your favorite curse word?: Fuck, in all tenses and in all uses, whether verb, noun, adjective, adverb or pronoun.

What career would you like aside from your current one? Rock N' Roll lead singer.

What career would not not like to have?
skyscraper window washer

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? "I didn't really like dook either, but I needed balance down there. Besides, what more could you want, I gave you that run of 12 straight Carolina National Championships beginning in 2007, so what are you complaining about?!?"

What is your favorite sound? My son's coos and laughter.

What is your least favorite sound? people scrunching up balloons or egg cartons or fingernails on a chalkboard.

What is your favorite word? Love.

What is your least favorite word? The n-word

Feel better IAN.

What's your favorite curse word?: GodDAMMit.

What career would you like aside from your current one? Bestselling novelist.

What career would not not like to have?
Prison guard.

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? "What took you so long?"

What is your favorite sound? Laughter.

What is your least favorite sound? Gunshots.

What is your favorite word? Love. Or maybe "prestidigitation".

What is your least favorite word? A tie between "rape" and "c*nt".

Thanks for the inspiration, Laurie, and feel better fast, Ian! Remember: Bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. But not all at once.

I came home from work, took a nap, and had a dream about this blog during my nap. It was that I said something dumb and everyone got mad at me. Well, the first part has happened, but not the second. Feel better, Ian. And go LFMD!

What's your favorite curse word?: Holy shitballs!

What career would you like aside from your current one? full-time disaster relief field work. Or professional puzzle tester (they'd send me free puzzles, right?)

What career would not not like to have? toxic clean-up

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? Is heaven a place where I eat oreos and get massages every day? Don't so much believe in such a place.

What is your favorite sound? my friends laughing around a dinner table

What is your least favorite sound? My neighbor's awful music. A cat or dog crying out in pain. The sound of someone sobbing.

What is your favorite word? Onomonopaeic

What is your least favorite word? macular degeneration

Ian, I hope you've stopped hurling.

What's your favorite curse word?: Captain Fuckpants!

What career would you like aside from your current one? barista at self-owned coffee/80s video game/donut shoppe/wifi/new band venue in Chapel Hill, NC

What career would you not not like to have? President of Afghanistan

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? "I don't know if I exist either"

What is your favorite sound? the "boing" sound of a kickstand being deployed on your new bike as a kid

(oh, and Lucy saying "pantaloons")

What is your least favorite sound? ambient smooth jazz reinterpretations of today's soft hits played on telephone speaker while on hold

What is your favorite word? septentrionic

What is your least favorite word? apocalypse

LFMD, way to hit it outta the park! Robin Kimmelman would have been proud.

I'm so late to the party! Dammit!

What's your favorite curse word? Any variation on fuck.

What career would you like aside from your current one? Sports broadcaster.

What career would you not not like to have? Doctor or anything medical... I'd be crying all the time worrying about all the sick people!

What would you like God to say when you arrive at Heaven? I have to go with Ian's answer... "I don't know if I exist either."

What is your favorite sound? My dog barking!

What is your least favorite sound? Bagpipes at funerals.

What is your favorite word? Love.

What is your least favorite word? The N word.

LFMD and SLS, you were both spot-on with your comments about The Hills and Project Runway, but I'm hoping Michael will win it all, or at least make the final 3. I like Laura, but she reminds me of Geena Davis. I'm not sure why I say that like it's a bad thing!

SLS, I'm looking around for stuff going on that Saturday!

just getting back on here and LFMD I have outdoor plumbing (i.e. I'm a guy)