7/10/07
Disclaimer, allowing the writer to say whatever he wants without reprisal. Pretending to understand that he may sound stupid, which then takes away your ability to say his argument was stupid, when his argument turns out to be, in fact, stupid.
Anecdote, probably with semi-famous name dropped. Anecdote is only loosely related to the topic at hand, merely serving to put the writer in a higher perceived status. Anecdote ends with lie, because the real ending was inconclusive and ambiguous.
Snark, snark, snark, snark, snark. Unfunny joke told with profanity to make it seem funny. Snark, even more snark, and then an exhortation to end all the snarkiness. Then one last bit of snark for good measure.
Supposition, use of "everyone says", jumping to conclusions, then data taken out of context. Another disingenuous disclaimer, along the lines of "I'm no scientist, but..."
Grand statement of purpose that the writer doesn't even believe, told with grandiose adjectives intended to brazen out any claims of falsehood. Bizarre overemphasis of ill-held notion. Wild conjecture disguised as heartfelt manifesto, ending with a call to arms the author himself has no plans of undertaking.
Character assassination done on the sly. Damning with faint praise, then damning with outright damnation. Strawman argument, followed by misattributed paraphrasing, followed by sarcasm.
Another anecdote, this one entirely fabricated; moral decided first, then story created to fit moral. Supposed withdrawal of most virulent points without actually going into proceeding paragraphs to erase them, thus getting away with both. Opinion ends with parallel construction and/or slight tweaking of tired cliché. Clever last line.
What, have you been reading the Indianapolis Star?
This is unrelated to the topic but I thought you guys might enjoy this:
http://mygame.com/game/pokecoachkRelieve some stress by poking Coach K in the eye.
Then send:
http://www.nytimes.com/ref/membercenter/help/opedsubmit.html
I love your political rants, because they make me realize that I'm sane. Here in Republican-infested OC, I have very few people to talk politics with. I think people just don't read the news. Period. It always amazes me when I bring up current events to people and they have no idea what I'm talking about.
Maybe it's just me and my upbringing, but I can't get enough of the news. I'm addicted. My Dad was a newspaper editor for the Thompson newspaper chain in the 70's and 80's, and they moved us all around the midwest. He was always a GOD in my eyes, because pre-internet, he knew everything. He read the AP wire all day! He would bring home copy of stuff that didn't get into the paper, mostly wacky, off-beat news that made us laugh.
The dark side of his job was the wackos who threatened him because of things he wrote in his editorials. During a particularly turbulent time in Southern Ohio, I remember being instructed never to open a package that arrived on the front porch. We had recorders on our phones to record threatening calls. And never, EVER say yes when someone called and asked if this was the home of the newspaper editor. It was scary, and I can't imagine having to say those things to my own children. The stress did wear on him, and about 10 years ago he quit and became a teacher.
I tell you that story because I want you to know that I understand the stress of putting yourself out there for people to judge and criticize. It takes courage and strength and I really admire and respect that. Please don't stop ranting! Clever last line...God you're a genius!
@Steph:
Who DOESN'T read the Indianapolis Star?
I'm sorry, but this entry deserves a Pulitzer.
Isn't there a Pulitzer for blogs?!?
God. I do ALL of those.