9/9/07
Man, you can be as philosophically belligerent as you want, but if you really want hate mail, simply impugn the reputation of Miss Teen South Carolina. I'm sorry, but I respectfully disagree with most of you. The second that girl entered a nationally-televised beauty contest, she abdicated all rights to intellectual respect, or at the very least, she threw open the door to whatever criticism might come her way.
If you can't take the spotlight, and you can't field a simple question about the USA, maybe you shouldn't be in the running for Miss Teen USA, I'm just sayin'. Yes, it would have been much better if Caitlin was a guy, which would have defused the inevitable dumb blonde jokes, but this wasn't about sexism, it was about a marked lack of excellence.
Yes, excellence. All but forgotten between the Scylla and Charybdis of snark and anti-intellectualism, excellence used to count as currency around here. My own family may have been too lazy to achieve excellence on any consistent basis, but we sure as hell knew what it was, and what it took to get there: no shortcuts, years of dorking out on a particular subject, odd dedication at the expense of a social life, and a belief than anything less than Awesome was a waste of everyone's time.
My dad even had a name for it: "turning a phrase." It meant, in musical terms, that you were so comfortable with your instrument and performance that you could inject these little moments of pure transcendence into each concert. They may last less than a second, but it's that tiny bit in the string quartet, the little moment in a movie, the briefest epiphany in a play that made you cry. There is only one way to get that ability, and it ain't by watching "Wheel of Fortune".
This spectre of achievement hung over my high school, was loosely draped over Carolina, and was even the motto of my frickin' fraternity: "In all things, excellence." Before the inevitable biorhythm of the brotherhood took us down a different path, my fraternity actually was excellent, producing guys that now run major parts of New York and Hollywood.
These days, I still run on the petrol of excellence, even when I'm a long way from achieving it. In everything we write, I try to ask myself if there were any shortcuts in it, any clichés that took the place of something more interesting, or a plot point that was merely "good enough". Do I get there every time? Hell no! I've been responsible for my share of crap, but at least I know a train wreck when I see it.
Another thing I do is keep this blog, which opens me up to a tremendous amount of criticism. With very few exceptions, I never delete a comment, all because I'm right here, writing these words, ASKING FOR IT. I write most weekdays, and while I'm no dooce, I have a strong readership, any of whom can deliver a whalloping criticism any time they choose. In short, I can take the heat, and therefore choose to stay in the kitchen.
And from my perch on the stove, I feel more than comfortable lobbing slow-pitch softballs at a beauty queen who could have chosen to excel in graphic design (like she says) but instead chose to answer questions about the United States' educational system on national television. The only way for this charade to have been intellectually honest would be if she ripped off her shirt, pointed at her nipples and said "learn THIS, motherfuckers!" The mere fact that Miss Teen USA has to answer any questions is the definition of "disingenuous".
As for the commenters, one in particular, who keeps harping on the apparently damning rumor that I could read when I was three, I have to say: gee, I'm really not sorry. It was 1970, and I don't remember it, but thank fucking god I had SOME skill that allowed me to transcend the schoolyard. Besides, why wouldn't that be something to celebrated? I delight in ALL of your kids' achievements - when I see xuxE's pics of her family, I feel like the world is moving in the right direction.
And with apologies to craighill (who no doubt believes I'd blame Wayne Ellington's missed 3-pointers on George Bush) but I truly think a populace subconsciously (or consciously) takes its emotional cues from its leaders, and the Bush Administration has vilified intellect from day one. Forget the travesty of No Child Left Behind - Bush has done exceptional damage by fostering an environment where Experts Are To Be Mistrusted, opting instead for "gut instincts" - and we all see how well that worked. Either Bush is the dumbest sumbitch ever to inhabit the Oval Office (which is scary), or he's pretending to be the dumbest (which is criminal).
Either way, the mantra of "you're trying too hard" got stuck on smartypantses around America in the 1980s, filtered to colleges in the '90s, and crystallized over the last seven years. Frankly, it disgusts me, and both my wife and I have an allergic reaction to the phrase "you're thinking too much."
Offended by this lecture? TOO BAD! TRY HARDER! NUT UP, YOUNG SPORTSPEOPLE!
Not everybody has to be excellent; it just has to be valued. Excellence doesn't mean "no fun"; you can do three tequila shots on a road trip to New Orleans and still be excellent. You can even show your tits, drop trou and hang brain, laugh at the guy who keeps farting and getting kicked in the nuts... and still strive towards excellence. That's the genius of genius: once you've turned a phrase, the low-hanging fruit tastes even better.
i agree with what you had to say on excellence, but when applied to Miss Teen SC i get stuck on her being so young. Yeah, she may have coasted through life on looks; yes, she may be part of a travesty in which how you look in a bathing suit matters more than depth or goals or intelligence. Maybe she's never struggled or had to work for anything. But shouldn't we give a little leeway to someone 17 or 18 years old?
I think I'm a pretty decent person...no saint, but i work on myself, try to keep my opinions on a leash, try to improve myself. I think i turned out okay. but at 17? Oh dear sweet Jesus. I don't know who that was playing me, I just pray that those who knew him have either forgiven him or forgotten him. Some nights I struggle with both.
p.s.-- I'm really glad I didn't get that Slayer tattoo.
Girlfriend was on the MTV Video Awards last night, stretching out her 15 minutes of fame.
This media attention is the best thing that could ever happen to her. I doubt she would have been "discovered" hanging out in Boone, N.C. Playboy spread down the road???
From your link above...
"Ultimately Caitlin aspires to create special effects for television and movies"Dude, she could WORK FOR YOU someday!
There is a fine line (one that I am trying to draw myself) between 1) demanding too much "excellency" to where the demandee believes he has never succeeded and therefore has a low self-confidence and 2) rewarding all mediocre results wo where the rewardee believes he is always entitled to reward and praise.
I guess the best way to do this for your kids is to set examples and encourage without rewarding all results. I was a product of the former where my school achievements were never quite excellent enough and that takes a toll in all aspects of life which in turn affects the ability to believe that you can create excellence.
I've stayed out of this so far. But, as a Williams, who was in the same bootcamp of the surreal bigotry of high expectations let me say this:
I love Miss South Carolina. She had a brainfart on national television, and dealt with it with a certain amount of grace. And she may not have been excellent, but she was AWESOME. Watching her was one of those moments when a breeze of the truly weird cracks opens in the grey curtain of reality, and the light of pure AWESOME shines through.
And the thing about Miss South Carolina: nothing was at stake, except a gig opening Applebees franchises and a college scolarship.
And how about this for a counterexample of consequential suckitude: I know a man who ... works for the federal government. He forwarded me an e-mail from someone who works with Guantanamo inmates. My friend's e-mail started out by saying 'I didn't send you this.' Here's the e-mail, slightly redacted:
"We received great news this morning that Mr. XXXX, our eccentric Saudi client, was repatriated. We have feelers out to try to get news of his whereabouts and well being. As far as we can tell right now, we think he is in Riyadh in (hopefully) temporary detention.
In any case, this is really fabulous news. We have spent many days with Mr. XXXX, who is a fascinating man. He has been held since February, 2002, with no charges, after having been "liberated" from the Taliban prison. He was imprisoned by the Taliban, who thought he was a spy for the Americans, because he had fought with Masood (and Osama) against the Russians in the 1980's. The Americans didn't know what do do with him so they sent him to Gitmo, to be held indefinitely with no charges.
Truly an outrage. Hopefully, he will find some peace with his family and can once again cook his beloved spicy dishes that he told us so much about."
And I should have been better at editing my post. *hangs head*
That sentence should have been: "Watching her was one of those moments when a breeze of the truly weird cracks parts the grey curtain of reality, and the light of pure AWESOME shines through."
L'esprit de l'escalier.
You go, Ian. This is a great motto:
"Not everybody has to be excellent; it just has to be valued."
Let's grant that Miss Teen S.C. scores an excellent in the looks department, even if her Barbie prettiness isn't your cup of Tab. But I fear our society (driven by the entertainment media) values excellent looks above all. Witness all the reality shows about models, plastic surgery, beauty and the geek, etc etc. Our kids are ingesting this crap every single day, no matter how diligently we try to steer them to higher cultural ground. It's a little easier for our family, as we live and work in a college town where intelligence and academic/cultural achievement are highly valued; the kids here absorb that, too, thank God.
Keep on callin' 'em as you see 'em, Ian. Nobody ever attracted a long-term readership by hedging their bets.
ah, Scylla and Charybdis. is there a more satisfying Greek mythology reference?
she abdicated intellectual respect? which is to assume, i suppose, that she at some point aspired to intellectual respect. or, to follow the metaphor more tightly, she was some kind of heir to that respect? that her parents were intellectuals, and/or that she grew up in a home where intellectualism was a virtue?
it's very easy for those of us with high-priced educations and white-collar parents to decry the lack of excellence in this country. it is much harder for us to imagine what it might be like to grow up in a home where achievement might be defined as being crowned Miss Teen USA.
that home may very well be inhabited by the most loving, supportive, respectful people that we could care to ever meet.
and, it may not be.
but if it is, if Miss Teen USA is a person of impeccable character and is leading a life filled with laughter and friendship and she's doing her best not to hurt other people and (heaven forfend) she's even very excited to have achieved Miss Teen USA, that's pretty excellent.
I am so over Caitlin Upton.
What has really stuck in my craw is Vanessa Hudgens' nudie photos which she sent to Drake Bell when she was 16. Everyone in my daughter's 3rd grade class LOVES 'High School Musical' and 'The Drake and Josh Show.' I keep waiting for the afternoon when daughter comes home and says with horror, "I heard that Gabriella sent naked photos to Drake!" I mean, I don't care about the photos and all, but when "news" like this is spread all over the internet, it is readily accessible to everyone.
Remember when Vanessa Williams' nudie shots were made public in 1982 or so? As a kid, I remember it being big news that Miss America was photographed naked (shock!). But, it was not as if the news was shoved in every little kid's face. Now, third graders can practically download the photos themselves.
We are all going to hell in a handbasket.
Really? Half-assedness started in 1984? Good to know.
The problem I have is this: If you want to indict the Miss Teen USA pageant for being disingenuous, go for it; indict beauty pageants. You're probably not the first person to have this idea but, hey, like you say, they can't all be winners. On the other hand, criticizing the girl who is a victim of this sham seems mean-spirited and misplaced.
Hear, Hear.
rock on, ian. as much of a cranky-pants as it makes me, i agree with you 100%.
and, odd as it seems, when people ask me what my type is in men, my answer has been (since it crystallized in college) "tall-ish and excellent at something, tho' i don't care what"...and it's true. when i meet people who excel at something, it just knocks my socks off.
keep it up and have a great week!
I remember a math teacher of mine at NCSSM that pulled me aside one day and said (roughly) "You could be excellent at this, but I don't see the passion. You must be passionate about something." Later she learned what I was passionate about and my life took a turn for the better.
My point - I think passion begets excellence, and vice versa. I am not seeing passion in most people, rather complacency or worse, resignation.
Thanks for the pep talk, Ian. We sometimes need to be reminded not to settle for the lowest common denominator.
Cannot agree more Ian.
My frustration with the cult of mediocrity is one of the reasons I am not teaching this year. I don't think medical students should be great at every subject but I think they should try hard, do their work, and show up. I had two students last time I taught who didn't even do that much and I was not allowed to fail them. There is a little known secret in our med school at least that once you're in is very, very hard to get kicked out. And unfortunately, getting in is sometimes as simple as having the right name or coming from the right location. For some (but not that many, thankfully) entitlement seems to come before excellence.
Well, she is excellent at something, looking good. I'm sure she spends a lot of time doing it, thinking about it and living it. It is society that has demanded that there be a "talent segment" or that she "have a brain" or whatnot...Are you happy now?
The real Miss Teen USA's do get rewarded with scholarships; to UNC, Harvard, Julliard, athletic programs - all the things that reward them for being excellent. Caitlin will graduate to Playboy, or maybe just emulate one of her upstate SC heroes:
http://www.jamiesimpsonmarketing.com/the_team
Naturally one of your real problems is that her answer to the question, "How do we achieve world peace?" would be "Change the constitution and allow George Bush to be elected forever and fight the terrorists." Likely the same opinion of practically everyone she knows-That's really the upsetting part, now isn't it?
The one quality that no one has mentioned is basic I.Q. Almost everyone who posts here has at least one standard deviation above the mean – 116 plus. Most are a couple standard deviations above the mean. Super-smarties, you might say. But what if you were born with a standard I.Q. of 100? Well, if you’ve got any brains – ho, ho - you make the most of what you’ve got. If you’re a beautiful looking teenager, you might consider entering beauty contests. That seems pretty “smart” to me.
I don't think this started in the 1980s. The US population has always had a strong anti-intellectual streak. I'm not a history student but Andrew Jackson's antics come to mind - as well as the criticism of Adlai Stevenson. To several of the points above, I think it's possible both to feel that Caitlyn whatever her name is has handled an embarassing situation with a good deal of humor and that our culture places an inordinate amount of emphasis on looks v. brains. Here's my take: the real winners are the people who can use those brains to build consensus based on ideas and personal charisma. Think about Bill Clinton. Clearly the brightest guy in the room most of the time - but able to be a shining light without making others feel dumb. Of course, he's even more exasperating because he wasted his potential a good bit based on his personal failings, but that's another issue.
And for LFMD - How do you plan to talk to your little girl about Vanessa Hudgens? I'm sure my 8-year old has been informed at school today. What do you say beyond never ever let anyone take a nude picture of you?
Helen: "Everyone is special Dash."
Dash: "That's just another way of saying no-one is."
My favorite 2 lines from The IncrediblesFor some reason, those lines are the first thing that came into my mind when I read this entry. I agree with you on many of the points made here. Rock on indeed!
toleration goes further down the road than society traffic
cont: and i accept that you can throw this comment back at me
Neva's comment reminds me of the old jokeQ: What do you call the guy who finishes last in his med school class?
A: Doctor
mmm - sitting on the stove? maybe stupid emilien's not so stupid after all...
thanks for the cool sentiment for the familia- i'm going to pass it on:
watching susan tom's family makes me feel like the world is moving in the direction i'd like it to go in - one simple person planting a giant fuck you flag in the face of the most shattering obstacles life can dream up. a tremendous source of inspiration to re-calibrate your idea of what you might actually be capable of in this life.
Not saying she is excellent but the excellent fuck up. She fucked up in a panic, she didn't display her capability. Again, when you kid fucks up in public, as when mine does, I expect to be sympathetic and not because they are special or mine but because they are human.
A stunning parody of this event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F226lI-lo5M&mode=related&search=