January 03, 2008

meteorology waxing crescent

1/3/07

60 degrees Fahrenheit - Vaguely uncomfortable at first blush, but even the slightest exertion renders normality. A sweater, then catch the ball three times and it's suddenly tied around your waist.

51 degrees - Bare minimum for golf. Get cocky and underdress, and you've signed up for low-grade misery. Fine in the sun, but the wind speaks ill.

42 degrees - Keeps threatening to be comfortable, but ultimately betrays. Cotton kills, you know.

32 degrees - It's partly an emotional barrier, but what's the difference if your fourth and fifth fingers aren't responding correctly?

24 degrees - Begins to feel dangerous, as though the ancient settlers still living in your ancestral atoms are telling you from beyond: "Get the firewood inside! Gather the children from the croup!"

18 degrees - Painful, saps energy, and only three layers will do. Animals scarce, mice huddle, and start the car five minutes before getting into it.

Zero degrees - Another emotional barrier? No, this one is for reals. Even the double-layer wicking socks begin to fail, and the normal function of things - doors, batteries, tires - begin to fundamentally change. You think you can do a simple five-minute chore outside? Two minutes in, and it feels like you're flirting with something truly ominous.

Wind chill minus-10 degrees - People can't look at each other because your vitreous humor might freeze sideways. Strategize: how will I get from the car to the kitchen door? Every exposed piece of flesh feels like sandblasts of pain. Government services don't see the point; phones aren't answered, nobody comes back from lunch, people even stop talking about the weather. Fireplace flues utterly useless, lip balm becomes one of the major food groups. At night, you look through the window, at the cloudless starry sky, and see nature as a canny chess player who simply won this round.

Wind chill at farm tonight in Columbia County, NY: minus-20 degrees. And how is everyone else doing?

Posted by Ian Williams at January 3, 2008 11:12 PM
Comments
Posted by: Isis at January 4, 2008 04:38 AM

Yow--sounds cold. Here in SC it is "cold," which means not cold at all by other scales BUT your post reminds me of my first year in grad school at the U of Mich, where we had minus 20 with minus 60 wind chill. Froze my little tarheel ass right off.

What I am trying now to recall is, at what temperature is it that all your snot freezes? I seem to recall it is somewhere under 0 (before windchill).

Posted by: Alan at January 4, 2008 04:46 AM

I have a small patch of red on my left cheek from a -50 F/C (it's all the same down there) morning back in 1993. Your real problem today is not the cold but the quick thaw coming. Get out and shovel the snow away from the foundation and clear thosee downspouts, digging a trench for the water to get away from the house. You laugh now but I will only have ten gallons a minute coming in once in my life. By the way, "glub" is the sound of your furnace air intake just before the water reaches high enough.

Posted by: Anne at January 4, 2008 05:01 AM

Ouch! -20F is seriously cold.

Early yesterday when I walked the dog on the beach (sand frozen solid into rills and ruts), the wind chill was -10F. I was well layered, but even so the wind cut through everything in about 4 minutes.

Only warm part of me was my feet. Buy boots made in Canada. Those ppl know what they're doing, eh?

Welcome back, Ian.

Posted by: Matt at January 4, 2008 05:54 AM

I woke up this morning, and after digesting the Iowa results, I immediately became interested in Ian's opinion, believing he has the pulse of the progressive American left. Imagine my disappointment...no entry, not even a single word on politics from the xtcian commentariat!

Talking about the weather? Everyone ok? Did I miss something in my long absence?

Posted by: GFWD at January 4, 2008 05:56 AM

Dang, and I was going to bitch about the cold weather here in Atlanta requiring me to wear a Nike toboggan on my head, a Columbia fleece jacket and Under Armour gloves. I'll shut up now and thank my lucky Bobby Fischers that I didn't have a reason to be in Columbia County, NY this week. Check mate, indeed, Mother Nature.

Posted by: Sean M at January 4, 2008 07:27 AM

Getting ready for a very rainy weekend in LA. I'm sure it'll be referred to as something like "Stormwatch 2008" here.

I must say, I'm surprised you came back with weather-speak. The cliffhanger in my head all week was whether your first posting of the year would be tied to Iowa or the WGA strike...

Posted by: Piglet at January 4, 2008 07:38 AM


In Iowa, the Hucktards turned out to vote.

Posted by: Ian at January 4, 2008 08:54 AM

Actually, I hope to have an awesome report from Iowa from my nephew, who spent two months caucusing for Obama and predicted this result weeks and weeks ago... trying to get him to write tomorrow's blog.

Posted by: CM at January 4, 2008 09:37 AM

Welcome back!

I love the cold. It's an excuse to stay inside and not have to talk to people.

Excellent. ;)

Posted by: michelle at January 4, 2008 09:49 AM

When I was going to college in Decatur, IL (shudder), we had a spell of weather that had a -60 degree wind chill. We were warned not to go outside because *our eyeballs could freeze*. However, the dean refused to cancel classes, and promptly went on vacation for a week. We considered having a protest, but that would have meant leaving our apartments and dorms, and, you know, walking around outside. Instead we wrapped our faces with saran-wrap and went to class.

Posted by: Claverack Weekender at January 4, 2008 10:18 AM

We were in Vermont and our ultra-reliable Toyota wouldn't start, even with a trickle charger or jump. Bought a new battery so we could drive to the city. Waved at the Rt 23 exit on the Taconic...

Posted by: Tanya at January 4, 2008 10:20 AM

See? This is why I live and love it in the South...

Posted by: jje at January 4, 2008 10:50 AM

Cold here in Charlotte, but I've got my love to keep me warm - I'm a little over 9 weeks pregnant! :-) Fifth and final IVF was the charm.

At 2.5, Connor doesn't quite get it, though. He insists there's a baby in his belly.

Happy New Year!

Posted by: Killian at January 4, 2008 12:34 PM

jje--tell Connor about seahorses--he'll be pleased to know it's not EnTIREly impossible---and many congrats to you!!! :)

Posted by: emma at January 4, 2008 12:43 PM

It's so cold to me here in eastern NC I can hardly stand it and we have barely gotten below freezing. I can't imagine what -20 degrees feels like.
The only good thing that I can say about the cold weather is that it usually means we have a blazing fire in the fireplace every night.

Posted by: Ian at January 4, 2008 12:56 PM

woo-hoo, jje!

Posted by: Anne at January 4, 2008 01:20 PM

jje: Congratulations!!! Love hearing those IVF success stories.

Posted by: cullen at January 4, 2008 02:36 PM

GO-Bama!!.. and I don't mean the woeful gridiron Crimson Tide.

On the topic of cold, when Kristin and I studied at U. of I., one day she froze and refused to keep walking in the bracing sub-zero cold, opting to expire in place or hop a bus, any bus somewhere, anywhere. I think she saw all of Champaign and Urbana (especially the warm, idling bus yard). I've never been colder than in that flat-country wind. There were some futile winter days of TRYING RUNNING. Yikesamighty!!

Kudos to the mommy-to-be there in THE Queen City.

Posted by: Annie at January 4, 2008 03:03 PM

Hee hee hee...somehow that image of Kristin waiting out the day in "the warm, idling bus yard" just tickles my funny bone...oh ho ho, oh dear (wipes away tear).

Yes, I thought we were suffering yesterday in balmy Carrboro with a high of 30 F. But Ian, this entry gives me the requisite what-fer. Thank you.

Posted by: eric g. at January 4, 2008 04:21 PM

It was nine below without the wind chill at my office in Prospect Heights, IL Wednesday morning. Today it was balmy in the low 30s. My Alfa Romeo is gathering dust in the garage...

Posted by: T.J. at January 4, 2008 04:26 PM

I live in Western NC now, but I lived in Chicago in the '80s. I experienced a -26, with an 80 below wind chill. My scale went as follows:

32: Cold
20: Darn cold
15: Dam cold
0: G.D. cold
-10: Effing cold
-26: Butt-effing cold

Living in NC since 1988, my blood has thinned somewhat.

Posted by: jon at January 4, 2008 07:33 PM

About 10 years ago, I found myself in Minneapolis for a week in early November, and on the last day it was about 24 degrees and snowing several inches. The morning news TV weather guy, reporting the outdoor conditions, concluded by saying, "So you might wanna have the kids wear a light jacket to school since it's a little chilly this morning." He was not being sarcastic or ironic. He truly considered 24 degrees to be "a little chilly." I swear this really happened. It was at that moment I realized I could never live in Minneapolis. Also at that moment I realized I was glad not to be there in, say, February.

Posted by: wyatt at January 5, 2008 10:37 AM

we lived in Fairbanks for ~10 years; "it warmed up to -25F" is a sane thought. but the neat thing is when it's cold in Fairbanks, there's no wind. so it's surprisingly livable/survivable. i biked to campus at -35, just to see if i could (could). the dog stuck his tongue to a bulldozer at -25 (not as much bleeding as you might think). hosted a bring-your-own-chair Thanksgiving at -58; the vinyl on Kurt's chair shattered in the back of his truck, on the way to our cabin. and while wintertime outhouse maintenance can get interesting, poopy diapers become totally neutralized on the porch in a matter of minutes. we'll be back in Fairbanks in a year to reclaim the title of northernmost Tar Heels. here's a recent piece on life in the boreal winter:
http://www.uaf.edu/news/news/20080102102946.html

i'll be at the UNC-Clemson game Sunday night; is anyone else going?

Posted by: cullen at January 5, 2008 11:56 AM

TJ, I'm roughly familiar with that same step of gradations to describe cold; my clan tends to freely mix in "colder than a m.f." when apropos.
Where in WNC? I'm from Waynesville and it's considerably thawed here in LI,NY today.

Posted by: chip at January 5, 2008 02:48 PM


The wind is what gets you here in Wichita....I was going to walk the other day at lunch and it was 35 degrees out, which is reasonable to walk in on a sunny day...but with gusts to 40 mph I got about 100 yards before I turned back

Posted by: T.J. at January 5, 2008 04:08 PM

cullen, I'm in Lenoir. My wife and I plan on spending the weekend at a bed & breakfast in Waynesville this weekend.

Posted by: cullen at January 6, 2008 03:43 PM

TJ, God's country my man.

Posted by: Killian at January 8, 2008 07:45 PM

Am I awful to ask what she got YOU????

Posted by: Ian at January 8, 2008 11:24 PM

She got me an awesome little upright piano for California!

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