xtcian

Sorry, no single stories from me except for some good ones I hear from patients but I won't go there.
Just to bring up a point - perhaps LA and NY are quite happy with their balance (at least 1 in 16 right?) Just saying.
Also, in researching Hillary's age after reading yesterday's post (she is 61 folks - long, long past any PMS and even way past hot flashes most likely) I discovered this..http://www.cuttingedge.org/news/n1259.cfm
boy there are freaks in this world!

I think I need more coffee to process that visual--even the colors are weird: blue and gold??? and what's with those clusters of blue dots on the shores of Florida? I'd be very curious to know what constituted "single" for National geographic--'cuz, ya, know, given who may get married here in the good ol' USand all---I'm thinkin' there might be lots of happy gay couples lurking amidst those dots. . .:)

IOWA CITY: COME FOR THE 2 FEET OF SNOW, STAY FOR THE SLIGHT PLURALITY OF SINGLE WOMEN.

Being single these days is probably hellish. Most women act like men, yet they still want the door opened for them and expect seats to be offered to them and shite like that. Plus, they swear that every man on Earth is enamored by them. There's a reason why the Eastern Seaboard is littered with spinsters-in-training.

Marriage isn't much better. Most married individuals are in jail and don't even know it. My wife, God bless her heart-I'd be lost without her-, can't even reheat water properly. When asked why she doesn't learn to cook, her patented response is: "That's why I went to law school!"

Single Gay Male, 34, seeks...

*sigh*

Single sucks. Dating's not much better, but I can appreciate it for what it's working towards...can't I just jump to married with kids, a great house, and a chocolate lab?

Dating sucks, but luckily I haven't had to do it in two years. Somehow I ended up marrying someone wonderful despite living in that hideous NYC area.

As for: "Most women act like men, yet they still want the door opened for them"

There are plenty of women not like that, but sometimes you MEN have to look beyond superficial attributes to find them. Hahahahahah. ;) Ah, that felt good.

Even though I've always been shy, especially around boys, especially around ones I kinda like, I made a point when I came to this area to try to get into situations where I'd meet nice, nerdy people. It took a while, but I met some really nice folks, some of whom were single (both men and women).

Dating is kind of evil. In college, you get to know someone before you date, so you know more about them than the one-liners they say on a first date to impress you. Once you're out of college...well, it's cold out there.

It's shocking that there are so many single women out there on the Eastern Seaboard with such charmers as HPBBen!

Gimme anything to spin any day!

Oh, and I'd be happy to close the door for you on your way out!

Sean M, why oh why aren't you on the East Coast?

I do not envy the singles. Not that there's anything wrong with being single. So I guess a better way to say it is: I feel for the singles who would rather be in a relationship. It does seem like so much work these days for people to meet compatible others.

Has anyone tried online matchmaking services like Match.com or eHarmony? They cite a lot of success stories, but I always wonder.

Me?-- July 12 will be our 33rd anniversary, and I'm grateful. <-- That is not intended to sound smug. :-)

I thought for a nanosecond about moving to LA and then remembered I've done that and a lot of those "single" men are gay. I was too lazy to look at how they counted stats -- as just not married or self-reported single. If it's the former, they're far less reliable.

I met some nice guys on Match. A friend of mine is dating a girl he met on Match. It has its pluses and minuses, like any other dating service. There's no shame in internet dating these days, well, not a ton of it.

If our favorite blogger ever holds a party for all the people who read this site, maybe Sean M and K will meet... ;)

Well, it looks like there aren't too many single people writing in, so I guess I'll go ahead and represent the single 20-something female voice. I feel like I've met men everywhere- bars, work, hobbies, and even the internet. Match.com and the Onion personals. I figure it's best to cover all bases. Honestly, dating is still as fun/gruesome/annoying/tiring/exciting as you remember it. You still have to work pretty hard to even find people you can tolerate, much less feel an attraction towards. In the end, you learn a lot about compromise. And stranger's penises. More than you ever really WANTED to know.

One of the trends (or maybe issues) I've noticed, that's become more and more prevalent since my high school days, is a deep confusion for most women about their own sexuality and power. These are the straight girls making out with other women in front of men at parties, bars, etc., the girls I know who will sleep with men they just met on the off chance that will lead to some commitment on his part, who have mistaken Hustler-style in-your-face silicon sexuality for some kind of real power. It's scary to think that this is what the feminist movement has lead to- and the influence it's had on the dating scene is undeniable. It means the men (who are really overgrown teenagers) have all the control... and that is a VERY scary prospect.

kate said stranger's penises

Just to follow up on the comments about online matchmaking: My partner and I met online, several years ago. We were living in very different parts of the country - I was in the northeast, he was in the southwest. I didn't think we would necessarily ever meet in person; in fact, I didn't see any point in doing so, given the distance between us. But we were in the same field, had lots in common so continued to chat. Eventually we had occasion to be in the same city attending a meeting and met, and things just took off from there. It took a lot of effort and creativity to build a cross-country relationship, but I thought... hell, love is a rare thing, I'm not getting any younger, or having any success finding it anywhere else... so I should really invest in this and see where it leads. Two years ago we worked out the job thing so that we're now in the same city, have a house together, no kids but plenty of animals. We'll celebrate our fifth anniversary this summer. Life is good.

So we always tell people that yes, the online thing can have good results. It took some effort and diligence, but for us, at least, it found the love we had been looking for.

so, what do you call the party they're having in the northeast?

I guess I'll chime in for the 30-something female single voice.

First of all, Kate, you are hilarious. Amen.

Second, at different times, I've dabbled in some of the internet dating, largely because where I live there are very few unmarried men where I live, of any age, but particularly in their 30's. Internet dating, for me, has been everything from disastrous to mildly amusing to one shortish actual relationship, and although others seem to have found great success at this mode of dating (good for you, Chris!) I really, deeply believe it's not gonna happen for me that way, for a hundred reasons I won't take the time to post here. Which leaves the question: how do I make it happen? If I were willing to compromise everything I hold dear, I could be married ten times over with a bunch of little tykes running around, or, at the very least, have a very active if shallow sex life. But, I'm not. So: internet dating won't work, men around here are in short supply, and men who would be deeply compatible with me are in even shorter supply, so what's a girl to do?

And, I've learned, I totally hate dating. It's not fun for me. Maybe that's because, more often than not, halfway through my date I wish I'd not bothered and that I was home, you know, *reading* or *baking* or ANYTHING other than suffering through another strained conversation. Seriously, someday I should write a book called "Fifty Failed First Dates" or something to that end.

It's not that they are bad men, it's just finding my fit has proved really challenging.

And Big Ben, I don't know one woman who fits the profile you describe. And, I assume, your wife has, you know, *other qualities*, beyond not being able to boil water? Sheesh.

I wish I had sage advice to offer all of us singles. But what I do know is I'd rather be alone than be with someone who wasn't a stunningly, wonderful good fit for me, and me for him.

oh lord, how did i not see this post until now...maybe because i've been running frantic juggling work with my book launch TOMORROW (for those in LA - it's at fresh pressed in silverlake 7pm - 9pm) for "the art of wooing: an email tale of modern courtship" which could not be more appropriate for this post. i've mentioned it before here, and it was a labor of love indeed. the story of a crazy-making crossing of romantic wires, and i think it's part of why i'm so gunshy about dating.

that said, i met someone great a while ago on nerve.com (and had tried match to no avail - the subscribers are self-selected, so each site really does have it's own range) but it derailed. he had too many issues. sadly. and, even though ian HAS had some parties at which his dear readers have met, i have not yet found my match...let's keep trying, ian!!!

www.theartofwooing.com

k, i'm packing now...where am i going? haha

NC...my early '90s days at UNC are how i found this site...i'll be the one with the sign at the airport :-)

:-)

sean m: k_upon_a_time hotmail [sheepishly]

Okay, that was really cute...