telephone call for mr. horrible
Yikes – if you want to get anything done in the next hour, don't click on the Plasticopedia: The Plastic Surgery Encyclopedia, and certainly don't go through their list of celebrities. O grotesque new world That has such people in't!
One thing's for sure: plastic surgery is like gummi worms. Once you start, there's little chance of stopping. It is also something of an equalizer; if you think you're far too plain to ever be a movie star, don't worry, because almost every movie star you know has very few of their original parts. Like They Might Be Giants sang, everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads.
Today's CODE WORD: if you had to get cosmetic surgery, what would you get? Feel free to post anonymously...
Posted by Ian Williams at August 4, 2008 11:28 PM
I can't imagine getting cosmetic surgery at all. I have been around elderly people all my life who I've always thought were perfectly attractive. What makes someone attractive to me is their personality and soul; I have friends who are obese, and friends whose features offend against the received societal standards of beauty, but their personalities shine through those 'impairments.'
Conversely I see a lot of 'pretty' people who look vacant, or sour, or malevolent.
Maybe it's because I'm no fashion plate myself, but I really truly don't care that much about beauty. I'm not immune to it, and I can appreciate it, but it is so fleeting as to be a trivial consideration in evaluating people.
And it saddens me when actors or actresses overdo it. Jessica Lange in particular is looking pretty creepy these days. Which is weird because Sam Shephard looks really craggy and tired -- and awesome. I guess he sees past the Botox and permanent look of surprise.
Emma: DO IT! Now. I wish I hadn't waited so long for my BR, four years ago. (Insurance covered mine because I had back problems.) It has a near 100% satisfaction rate. Get your doc to say the weight is causing shoulder/back issues for you, and insurance may help you out.
While I'm not interested in face lifts per se, a little work on the droopiness above my eyelids and below my chin would be great. Oh, and a total-body liposuction. ha ha ha
Breast reduction seems a more practical and honest thing to do than breast enhancement. Ditto for lifts -- no shame in fighting gravity any way you can.
Implants bother me though -- apologies in advance to anyone who has done this, naturally, it's your body -- the idea that one's self image hinges on the size of one's breasts feels a little sad to me. It feels like one is embracing one's own objectification. Women fight constantly to get men to see past their appearance, to be treated as intellectual equals. Implants draw attention from your eyes, and what your mouth is saying.
Natural breasts of any size are such wonderful things, it seems a shame to turn them into stretched coverings for physiological inanimate lumps. And of course, once someone goes hands-on the allure is gone.
I had LASIK and it was great for me but not so for my sis-in-law. When they sliced her cornea to peel it back, it actually came off! Then they had to stitch it back on and couldn't do the surgery and had some vision issues for a while. BUT that was like, 10 years ago and I think they are better at it now.
But is LASIK even considered cosmetic?? I didn't do it for cosmetic reasons. I just hated not being able to see when I woke up in the morning, in the middle of the night, out in the ocean or a pool...
And I'd def get a BR!!
Anon said, perhaps predictably:
"I've never spoken with anyone who has had the [breast reduction] surgery and regrets it."
Ever speak to their husbands?
Ha ha ha. Poor men. Wifey should suffer back strain, headaches, etc., while hauling huge boulders around so hubby can get off. Our lady bits are definitely only provided for men's gratification. Wait, what? They're for feeding babies? How radical.
Not to mention that my current size D's are just fine with my husband, thank you. Yes, I was much MUCH bigger than that before surgery. Ouch.
I had laser hair removal on my chin, and would do legs and pits if I had the cash!
(Also, love the shout out to TMBG. My son and I saw them at a Disney Block Party concert last week. It was awesome, and they even sang some of their "grown-up" songs. And gave out foam fingers! It doesn't get much better than sharing a rock concert with your 6-year-old.)
I had LASIK and am SOOOO glad. It has been about 5 years and I have no complications.
I also had my entire face lasered. I was tired of ingrown hairs and I was also tired of my heavy stubble. I now shave every day, but could really get by shaving about every other day if needed. Plus, my stubble is much less coarse and leads to no very few ingrown hairs.
Oh, yeah, I also had 2 ribs removed so I'd maintain my thin figure.
Nose job for me, please. Ever since I broke it during my freshman year of college, my face has been unsymmetrical. People say that they can't even tell, but I've had trouble attracting guys ever since then, and I didn't have any trouble before that. When I was 13 or 14, I totally would have picked out a whole new nose, but I think now I would just like to have my old nose, but straight.
Of course, after reading the description of a nose job in V by Thomas Pynchon, I don't think I could ever go through with it.