August 13, 2008
jan bártu of czechoslovakia
8/13/08
My wife and I are bizarrely matched for each other when it comes to a number of random things: we've both named all our pets after composers (a habit from both our parents), we both have an irrational love of maps, and we both have a long-term obsession with the Olympics. I loved the Olympics so much as a kid that I had the book where you enter the names of every medalist in every event – meaning I was passingly familiar with the dude who got the bronze in the Pentathlon in 1976.
I understand from the Gallup poll that 26% of Americans didn't plan on catching any Olympics at all, but then again, these Games are getting the best ratings in 32 years, so I know plenty of you are watching. Add your thoughts if you wish, but here are some of mine so far:
- I'm still pissed off about the Chinese "women" gymnasts, and it's not just their country's blatantly obvious cheating on their ages. There's obviously a tremendous cultural difference in how Americans see human livelihoods and state-mandated determinism, but plucking 3-year-olds away from their families, not allowing any contact, and making them eat/breathe/live gymnastics for a decade ought to register as a human rights issue.
Sure, the parents acquiesce, but do we have any idea what saying "no" to the government could mean for these families? The mere thought of giving up Lucy for gymnastics, and not seeing her for another ten years... hell, she has gymnastics camp on Saturday mornings, and I start to miss her after half an hour. The only silver lining about the underage girls is that they get to go HOME that much quicker.
- I have been a documented fan of Misty May's ass for quite some time now, and in fact, that's one of the top search terms that brings people to this blog. I'll watch Kerri Walsh and Misty May play backgammon – and most of the Brazilians for that matter. But NBC giving us a two-hour slog through men's beach volleyball the other night is a hunk of crap, especially when we never get to see badminton or ping-pong. Plus, one of our beach volleyball players looks exactly like James Carville, and it's thoroughly distracting.
- The ads with Shannon Miller touting Claritin™ are a little sad. I'm sorry, I really adored Shannon when she nailed the full-twisting Yurchenko vault in 1992 – TWICE – and was subsequently robbed of the all-around medal. But the Shannon Miller of today has had so much work done...
- I know you don't need me to harp on this when it's all over the internet tubes, but my heart absolutely broke when I saw Yang Peiyi, the girl who "wasn't cute enough" to sing in front of the cameras at the opening ceremonies. The Chinese authorities found a prettier girl instead, and stuck Yang in the basement with a microphone while Lin Miaoke mouthed the words.
To quote the music director Chen Qigang, "It was for the national interest. The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feelings and expression." Absolutely. Because we all know that ugly people, fat people, or people who aren't exactly symmetrical all harbor deeply-flawed internal feelings. Especially a 7-year-old girl who is perfectly adorable even with her baby teeth.
Yeah, yeah, I know this is one of my bête noire hot-button issues, but this story is the perfect encapsulation of true talent crushed, humiliated, or silenced by the tyranny of physical attractiveness. It's sickening and embarrassing, and the Chinese are no worse than we are. Could you imagine telling your daughter she could sing, but she wasn't pretty enough to be seen by the world? I'd rather douse myself with gasoline.
- Michael Phelps has the laser wide-eyed intensity and unshakable competitive drive I've only seen in three other people: Michael, Tiger, and Tyler.
Posted by Ian Williams at August 13, 2008 11:14 PMI managed to catch some badminton on MSNBC at six in the morning on Saturday, and it was awesome. I've never seen it played at that level before. Maybe it's available online? It's definitely worth seeking out.
i will say that after we stayed up till the middle of the night to watch the swimming relay, the one where the french talked trash and rowdy gaines could not stop predicting USA's demise until the last tenth of a second, it was so exciting a win that my beloved husband (chip to you) jumped up and yelled 'suck a baguette, you frenchies!' still makes me laugh this morning...
don't even get me started on misti may's ass...
Count me among the many sleep-deprived East Coasters that have been staying up past midnight watching the games. It has been great entertainment. Ian, to your points above:
(1) While I don't condone the "Reverse Danny Almonte" cheating on the part of the Chinese, it's still pretty impressive that these 11 and 12 year old girls can compete on this stage. There was a great clip from Jon Stewart where they dubbed a Chinese gymnast shouting, "Wheeeee! Wheeeee!" as she performed on the uneven bars. That killed me.
As to the point of starting these kids at 3 years old, I'd hardly say that the American model is that much better. From kids "specializing" in sports once they are 7 or 8, to the endless "travel teams" (what the hell is the point when there are teams one or two towns over?), to the pathetic display of many parents living vicariously through their kids - let's just say I'm not impressed by what youth sports have become in the US of A.
(2) If you are a Misty May fan, let me introduce you to Paraguay's Leryn Franco, who will compete in the javelin next week. I'm counting the hours until the track and field gets going:
http://www.pbase.com/crespoide/personal_2007_calendar
(3) The Chinese pulling a Milli Vanili with the opening ceremonies made me wonder, in a coutnry with a billion people, couldn't they have found a kid that was cute AND could sing?
(4) Forgive me if I look at the grouping of Tiger, MJ and Tyler and think, "Which one of these people DON'T belgong?" I'd like to see Tyler actually win a championship before I place him with that group. I'll take Derek Jeter over Tyler in that category.
My little buddy just stood up and saluted for the Paraguayan national anthem and Leryn hasn't even won anything yet.
I had drafted Jersey's third paragraph above almost verbatim before being called on the phone and accidentally switching screens. If China's way is deplorable, ours is troubling, to say the least.
much as I love him and agree that his eyes share the same intensity, Tyler's name does not belong in the same breath as Phelps, Tiger and Michael (yes, THAT order).
Not yet.
Ask me again later when Tyler leaves Detroit on a cool Tuesday morning next Spring with a nylon necklace and I might change my response!
As for the ugly Chinese girl who is not really that ugly, she'll have a future in opera where the pipes count and they give you big robes and make-up to cover up any other lacking aesthetics. I betcha somewhere Christopher Cross took note of this story and screamed out: "I hate you MTV"!
When you get caught between the moon and New York City . . .
Today's Misti ass shot:
http://www.fatspike.com/keyword/misty+may+treanor#156360695_ziXMH
Ian, I hear you about the Chinese girls being taken away from their families at a freakishly young age but what do you make of the fact that some of the men wanted to quit but their families made them go back and keep going...? The families are being paid to do this, they are essentially selling their kids into gymnastic slavery and they have to be OK with it to a large extent.
My husband lived in Asia for years and it's a cultural difference you simply can't comprehend untless you've lived there. They are so very different from us in so many ways. Also, did you hear about how the Chinese men's coach had to sign a contract that said that he wouldn't let his athletes get hurt? Crazy. The Chinese are super weird, and, yes, a lot of it is their repressive government but (and I repeat myself, sorry for being boring) but they are just fundamentally different from us, too.
I obsessively watch the 'lympics, too., and I'd tell you our houselhold joke except it's too offensive for public consumption. :)
I stand by Tyler, in terms of personal, live experience. Sure, he needs his ring, but you don't need to be the best in the world in order to possess unquenchable thirst.
(wiping laugh-blown food bits off computer) Cathie, in one sentence, handily steals the gold medal from Ian for "Best Chip Moment Ever Witnessed and Described." GO Team Wichita!!!!
Yer right on in discussing that similar look in the eyes, Tyler's that is. Here's to his earning some championships for the good guys (there is an 'us' in guys). And while not nearly as riveting as were the Yogi Yahooies and ilk, we're devoted to this year's rings and games nonetheless. I'm all for team handball, water polo, etal. Kids love it.
Totally agree, and let me add Alex Ovechkin to the list of intense and competitive athletes, please, because I am a hockey slut.
Shannon Miller doesn't even look like her old self anymore! Disturbing.
I'd include Lance Armstrong in the list of most intense/competitive, ahead of Mr. Phelps. And, Olympic training seems like a better pre-teen occupation than working in the poisoned dog food mill or the lead-laced Happy Meal toy factory. I'm not familiar with the typical Chinese childhood experience, but I don't think they have the option of weekly dance lessons and YMCA soccer. Gymnastics might be a good opportunity for some of these girls, and their families.
Ian,
Looks like you and Bush have something in common: http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2008-w31/img.289576_t.jpg
Kudos Ian. After years of stories of blood-doping, steriod-taking, hormone-supplementing, age-fudging, gender-faking, bald faced-lying, drug-abusing, shin-bashing, equipment-modifying, urine-swapping, point-shaving, trash-talking, race-baiting athletes, you can still muster up some indignation. Me, I feel nothing anymore and I can't help but think I am the worse for it.
It's equally hard for me to get upset anymore about the singer fakeout. Afterall, the powers-that-be know that we're more apt to ponder the beauty of Misti's backside than the substance of her performance.
These days it's just so hard not to be a cynic.
As for the eyes, put me down for Mike Singletary.
"After years of stories of blood-doping, steriod-taking, hormone-supplementing, age-fudging, gender-faking, bald faced-lying, drug-abusing, shin-bashing, equipment-modifying, urine-swapping, point-shaving, trash-talking, race-baiting athletes, you can still muster up some indignation."
I get the rest of the list, but I don't think anyone involved with dook* basketball ever faked their gender.
I mean, Chris Collins and Wojo are both /technically/ men.
You harp on Misty May-Treanor's assets and then fault the Chinese for touting exterior looks with their use of a "less-flawed" child asset. Seems to me the issue is with human perception of value than just with the Communist Chinese Gvn't. Guess Lennon was right, we've got some work to do before we can imagine the way things should be.
Randy - 'tis true. I was aware of my hypocrisy, but it was funnier to beg forgiveness than ask permission...
Ian,
No sweat. You are a red-blooded American and I enjoyed the read (as always).
Shannon M. occassionally works out in the gym where my daughter takes gymnastics (only once a week, I swear!). Perhaps she has had a little work done, but it is a treat to watch her do her thing even today.