1/7/09
In the beginning and the end, there is your judgment. Everything we see, everything we can possibly consume, travels sidecar with our opinion: Good or Bad. There might be complications, you know, "it started off good, then turned bad" or "you think it's bad which means it's actually good" - but not a fucking thing goes by on god's green earth that escapes your snap decision.
Aren't you tired of your opinions? Aren't you sick of always having to think something about everything? A black lamp, a parent's child-rearing decision, a girl that goes back to her boyfriend, a song, a cell phone color... and there you are, on this infinitesimally short journey through the cosmos, and the whole universe might ground to a halt if you don't register your disapproval.
When the internet came to be, this might have abated. Maybe the hordes, the millions of anonymous voices would have rendered judgment meaningless, but no - the urge only got worse. "Someone is incorrect," you might exclaim, and while cooler heads would say, "yes, but you don't even know their name or where they're from," you would reply, "IT DOESN'T MATTER, THEY'RE STILL INCORRECT."
Now life and the internet don't seem so different, and when I walk down the street, I'm looking at you. Yes, you.
We judge your life choices. We judge the way you let your kid do that thing he does. We think you're full of unfortunate notions. We think you've never really taken responsibility, that you've never truly learned the value of a dollar, that you don't take others' feelings into account. We think YOU THINK it's ALL ABOUT YOU.
I have to go. I have a snap judgment, two misinformed theories, three disdainful observations, four breathless and bizarrely-defensive laudations and sixteen wildly inconsistent opinions to offer, and the day is slipping away.
Posted by Ian Williams at January 7, 2009 10:07 PMwrong.
Hmmmm. We are hardwired to make "snap judgments" in real time because in order to survive, the human animal (and other animals) had to instantly decide whether another entity was friend or foe, stranger or known. In uncertain times, this skill or tendency is probably heightened.
Sociologically speaking (I find myself lately haunted by stuff I learned my freshman year in college), as groups we similarly draw boundaries, label other people as insiders or outsiders, and develop behavioral norms that define our community and society; "beyond the pale" meant literally that you had transgressed these norms and isolated yourself from the protection and comfort of the group. So again, both as individuals and as members of various aggregates, we instinctively made quick judgments about one another.
Our great fortune as highly evolved thinking beings is the (often underused) ability to cultivate complex evaluations of one another that can override our initial apprehension or revulsion. Yeah, that guy looks sketchy, but maybe he's just down on his luck; maybe he has children who love him; maybe he's in an alt-rock band. In my religion, we are asked to love the unlovable, and man, that is one heavy challenge -- but a valuable exercise, I think, in overriding the excessively judgmental inheritance of our evolution as complex organisms.
Why am I talking/writing like some academic blowhard today? LOL! Well, thanks for jump-starting my brain once again this morning, Ian.
The internet has vastly aggravated the practice of making judgment as it has attacked the idea of authority. So we now have to take on the assessment and criticism of many things which, before, were handled by others who were "taking care of that". We fill the void that was never voided because we have the double illusion that we are being asked to decide and that we now have the tools to make a better decision.
Malcolm Gladwell covers this topic in his book, "Blink."
I think it's the least compelling of his three books, but entirely worth the read.
I am self aware that I used to be very guilty of judging others in the most insufferable way. In reflection, I got the trait honestly (from those who were my role models). But now, as I've aged, I find it all so vile and immature. It helps that parenthood has humbled me on several occassions. So, I try to be a better person and reserve judgement, offering compassion instead. I am not always successful, but I keep trying. Let's all try it!
Word.
People also have trouble saying I don't know a lot more now.