March 16, 2009

the Bearcats ate the Retrievers


Let's do this again, shall we? I invite each and or every one of you to our NCAA bracket challenge, the conflagration formerly known as The Four Guys Not Named Biff Ice Cream Social. Back in the day, Jon, Chip, Bud and Myself used to deliver our picks via carrier pigeon in rolled parchment, sealed with charmed wax that only the recipient could undo. Now we have the INTERNETTZ.

The winner, as per always, gets a guest blog to talk about whatever, whomever or whyever they want. Always craved a national audience about your disturbingly picayune pet peeve? Want to humiliate an old enemy? Got a theory you want haunting you forever? This is the way to do it, baby.

Oh yes, you lurkers, you're invited too. I know you're out there, I can sense the comments you would have made, if only the time were right. Perhaps it's a dose of l'esprit de l'escalier, oui oui? Here's your chance to turn that "wit of the staircase" into a full-fledged, disastrously-public, self-shaming of the staircase!

Simply leave a comment below that is oddly off-topic. In the "email" field, leave a real address (nobody else can see it), and I'll send you the invite. C'mon, SUNY Binghamton!


Posted by Ian Williams at March 16, 2009 11:26 PM
Posted by: Tanya at March 17, 2009 4:21 AM

Am I first??off topic: My hair has turned curiously and naturally curly since Grant was born. Everyone thinks I got a perm!

Posted by: LFMD at March 17, 2009 5:09 AM

I don't know which makes me more incensed. . . Bernie Madoff or the recent AIG bonuses!

Posted by: Deb at March 17, 2009 5:31 AM

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Posted by: Schultz at March 17, 2009 5:37 AM

I anxiously await the series finale of Battlestar Gallactica on Friday.

Posted by: Tessa Blake at March 17, 2009 5:56 AM

Italy is pretty. They have good cheese too.

Posted by: Sean M at March 17, 2009 6:02 AM

Cheese is pretty. Especially to Italians.

Posted by: Sharon at March 17, 2009 6:06 AM

My 7 year old daughter recently cut her eyelashes. No rational explanation was given.

Posted by: FreshPaul at March 17, 2009 6:25 AM

I'm not saying he's unlucky, but if he fell into a barrel full of tits, he'd come up sucking his own thumb.

that's mine.

Posted by: Big Scott at March 17, 2009 6:37 AM

Pee-Wee's Playhouse is still cooler than most anything else on television.

Posted by: emma at March 17, 2009 6:43 AM

Not completely off topic, but too good not to share:
When my 8 year old looked at the pic in today's post, he said, "Who is that? Coach K?" I immediately grounded him for life. Then, told him who it was and he said, "Don't tell Daddy what I said." That second comment will shorten his sentence a little bit, I think.

Posted by: frcathie at March 17, 2009 7:01 AM

my new past time is getting in shape for the roller derby. those girls are tough!

Posted by: eric g. at March 17, 2009 7:03 AM

The answer to the global economic crisis and the real identity of the grassy knoll shooter are in tomorrow's print edition of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Reserve your copy now.

Posted by: David at March 17, 2009 7:12 AM

From the OED
lurk, v.
1. a. intr. To hide oneself; to lie in ambush; to remain furtively or unobserved about one spot. (Now only with indication of place.) Also, to live in concealment or retirement.
b. To shirk work; to idle. Obs.

Posted by: Lorelle at March 17, 2009 7:24 AM

I'm super glad that I have kids this week cause it means I still get a SPRING BREAK!

Posted by: wyatt at March 17, 2009 7:27 AM

Those wacky lovable geomagnetic cows are back in the news:

This will SO be my topic if I win the bracket pool.


Posted by: craighill at March 17, 2009 8:00 AM

it rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again.

Posted by: salem's Little Sister at March 17, 2009 8:01 AM

I am excited that LFMD friended me on Facebook.

Posted by: julie at March 17, 2009 8:04 AM

My 6-year old chastized me for not having anything green to wear today. I do have on a green necklace, but that doesn't count in his mind. Happy St. Patty's day to all!

Posted by: Big Scott at March 17, 2009 8:12 AM

Emma, you're breaking my heart with that story, but I feel your pain. My 6 1/2 year old asked me who those old guys were when she saw a picture of Coach Smith, Michael Jordan, and James Worthy standing together on the court at the Smith Center recently (see below). Proof that I'm old and that my daughter doesn't know enough about Carolina Basketball. So, the first thing that I thought of when I saw the picture from Ian's post today was, "I should print out a copy of this picture so that I can add it into the set of Carolina Basketball flash cards that I'm making for my kids."

It's a little extreme, I know, but then again I know a whole lot about beach music because my dad used to pay me a nickel for every song and artist I could name when he was listening to it on the radio. He got to listen to what he wanted on the radio and I generally had a pocket full of change to buy Sweet Tarts and those cool little styrofoam airplanes with propellers. Caroline and Wyatt will soon be able to recognize the all-time Tar Heel greats and I will be poorer (and happier) for it. Old school jerseys all around! They do make Timo throwback jerseys, don't they?

Posted by: scruggs at March 17, 2009 8:17 AM

The Sesame Street band-aid on my finger is a reminder of why I shouldn't clean the apple slicer sharp side up.

And ditto on LFMD on FB.

Posted by: Scott M. at March 17, 2009 8:20 AM

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

(believe it or not, that's the first thing that came to mind - I may have just been on though)

Posted by: Andy at March 17, 2009 8:24 AM

There will be destruction and mayem brought upon your small village!!

Posted by: Terri Stroud at March 17, 2009 9:18 AM

Sharting ... it can happen to anyone.

Posted by: LFMD at March 17, 2009 9:43 AM

SLS and Scruggs - you guys are cute! I am new to FB and am still trying to figure out how to find people and friend them. Plus, we have one computer in a family of three and I have to fight with my daughter for computer time. Believe me, there are few things as embarrassing as hearing my nine-year-old yell: "Daddy, I can't get on Webkinz because Mama is on Facebook again!"

If anyone else gets a friend request from a Laurie with a strange last name. . . it is me!

Posted by: wyatt at March 17, 2009 9:58 AM

Those wacky, lovable geomagnetic cows are in the news again:

This will SO be my topic if I win the bracket challenge.


Posted by: jje at March 17, 2009 10:01 AM

My Life Would Suck Without You, in no particular order but certainly not limited to:

Trader Joe's Cranberry Oatmeal and Gazpacho (but not together)
the Tar Heels
PDAWG (playgroup)
Connor & Graham
preschool days
Big Love

Posted by: ms four at March 17, 2009 10:03 AM

My four-pound puppy charged a German Shepherd yesterday.

Posted by: tbruns2002 at March 17, 2009 10:06 AM

It's good to be the king!

Posted by: Ehren at March 17, 2009 10:51 AM

If the New York Times Magazine did a big story on an Amish family who joined the Cirque de Soleil, my head would explode.

Posted by: Alan at March 17, 2009 10:54 AM

"...leave a real address..."

Why is this causing me confusion as to what you want?

Posted by: Sean at March 17, 2009 10:57 AM

I've got Duke in the final four. Does that make me a bad person?

Posted by: Brian from the Spanish House at March 17, 2009 11:04 AM

I was in Chicago this weekend and liked a radio station which billed itself as Rock for the Suburbs. That scares me.

Posted by: CM at March 17, 2009 11:23 AM

I am now LFMD's Facebook friend, too, but a few people said they couldn't find me. Sorry about that - email me and I will friend you!

Posted by: Julie Morgan at March 17, 2009 12:35 PM

I had a dream that Tyler Hansbrough was my lover.

Posted by: kelsey at March 17, 2009 12:53 PM

My 8 year old son in the car on the way home:
Mom, I don't love Kyndall anymore.

Me: Why?

Son: Well, there are just too many other important things at this point in my life.

Way to go, son!

Posted by: erica at March 17, 2009 1:31 PM

My 6-yr-old daughter has a double ear infection, my 4-yr-old son threw up in his bed last night, I have some sort of respiratory bug and my husband is in Chicago for the week. Now THAT'S March Madness folks!

Posted by: ginat at March 17, 2009 2:35 PM

I have to find another stick horse and clown wig, two cowboy hats and two bandanas. (For the first grade musical -- I will NOT be lead room parent next year -- at least we don't have to sew anything!)

Posted by: Rebecca at March 17, 2009 2:51 PM

I would love to be the biggest loser in the pool again this year!
LFMD: I'm feeling left out!

Posted by: Caroline at March 17, 2009 2:58 PM

For days, my stomach has been making alarming and loud gurgling noises like the kind that precedes scary explosive diarrhea. But the explosive poo doesn't come. Not that I'm not grateful, but what's the deal?

Posted by: Carolyn at March 17, 2009 3:04 PM

I wish I was in Austin this week for SXSW but the current dismal state of affairs has me watching every dime.

Unemployment is becoming a drag. I am forced to think of new ways to eat eggs (coddled with parmesan and black pepper).

Posted by: Neva at March 17, 2009 4:54 PM

What is Irish and lives outside year round?
Patty O'Furniture!!

Posted by: Randy at March 17, 2009 6:21 PM

Tough Bracket Choices in Real Life:

Bernie Madoff vs. Cell Mate

Decisions. Decisions.

Posted by: kjf at March 17, 2009 6:35 PM

i just read a story in the nytimes about a guy who was hired to shoot coyotes in an upscale denver neighborhood for $65 a kill.

Posted by: GFWD at March 17, 2009 6:56 PM

I've got nearly 978 friends but no LFMD. Dammit, woman, send me a friend request.

I never thought I'd pin my life's happiness (at least for the next three weeks) on one man's hallux.

But I'm not ashamed to admit it now.

Let's go TY.

Patty O'Furniture. Classic.

Posted by: GFWD at March 17, 2009 7:39 PM

Did I just get my very own LFMD friend invite on FB? Might you share a name with "he who played the Fonz"? If so, I'm gonna add you today. #979, baby!

Posted by: kate at March 17, 2009 8:03 PM

Assuming a person uses the home keys properly, 'stewardesses' is the longest word that one can type with only the left hand.

Posted by: Sean Patrick at March 17, 2009 9:09 PM

Let me in to the pool!

Posted by: KTS at March 17, 2009 9:09 PM

OK, I'm game, even though I barely know jack shit about college basketball. Corned beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes, and beer to all!

Posted by: KTS at March 17, 2009 10:09 PM

Forgot to mention that I bought an I Ching (Wilhelm edition, of course) from Borders a couple of days ago, to replace by present well-worn one, and the print is overly light. Terribly wrong. Bad. So tomorrow, I’m going to have to return the bastard, and find someplace that sells an edition with the darker, correct print. Beware!

Posted by: John Hawbaker at March 18, 2009 12:43 PM

I don't think I could drink scotch regularly since my first introduction was to the really good stuff.

PS: Am I too late?

Posted by: Lindsay at March 18, 2009 8:33 PM

Seriously? I have to read your blog like some commoner to be in a pool with you? I work at A-EYE-GEE! I deserve better.

Posted by: CET3 at March 18, 2009 8:54 PM

I have never blown my nose.

Posted by: Seth at March 18, 2009 10:08 PM


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