February 3, 2013

it's the memories of the shed that make me turn red

2/3/13

The Specific Insults to My Body and Their Cures, A Visual Retrospective

PurpleHouse1991(bl).jpg

EVENT: Loaded huge boxes of my stuff into upstairs crawl space at the Purple House in Chapel Hill, NC, January 1991. Crawl space was almost tall enough for me to stand, meaning I was slightly stooped for the entire ordeal.

AFTERMATH: Immediate, unfathomable back pain. Continued several episodes throughout the 1990s. Finally in summer 2000, played basketball and fell down subway stairs, and ended up in osteopath hospital. Spent months with a cane in unbearable, searing pain that no drug or massage therapist could abate.

CURED: May 2001 by a set of abdominal exercises shown to me by actor and Pilates instructor Jessica Arinella.
----

BeachwoodDriveway(bl).jpg

EVENT: Pushed giant city trash bin up the driveway shown above, August 1999. Bin slipped forward, sending lip of trashcan across the bridge of my nose. Blood spurted 15 feet, misdiagnosed at hospital.

AFTERMATH: Spent 13 years with a deviated septum. Got sicker and sicker with each compacted sinus virus, until 2011, when I had strep four times in one year.
CURED: Surgery May 2012. Recovery was long and awful, but ultimately successful.
----

LangdonDanaLindsayIan2000(bl).jpg
Langdon, Dana, Lindsay, me in Central Park, June 1997

EVENT: Played "Chicken" in the pool at Timber Hollow Apartments in Chapel Hill, around 2am, September 1997. The wonderful Langdon Nadeau was on my shoulders, equally-fabulous Dana was on fan favorite Lindsay Bowen's shoulders. During a vicious battle, Langdon slipped and nearly took my head off. Neck on left side twisted into something unnatural.

AFTERMATH: Couldn't effectively drive a car for a month, due to inability to turn my head to check blind spot, or even approaching traffic. Left side of neck pinpointed as source for chronic headaches. Even now, need a special pillow to sleep, or else a 2-day migraine ensues.

CURED: Not really. Maxalt tablets help in emergencies. Learned meditation techniques to relax left side of back.
----

EVENT: Shitty childhood.

AFTERMATH: Long bouts of depression, bursts of paralyzing anxiety, ADD combined with PTSD, sensory integration. Random phobias (flying) that came out of nowhere, odd sense of entitlement mixed with self-loathing. Need for affirmation only eclipsed by desire not to be judged. Sort of a dick.

CURE: Holding Lulubeans for the first time, April 14, 2005.

IanChestLucy4(bl2).jpg

 

Posted by Ian Williams at February 3, 2013 11:37 PM
Comments
Posted by: Anne at February 4, 2013 3:59 AM

Doctor, doctor, Mr. MD, Won't you tell me what's ailing me? He said yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (etc.). What you need, what you really need, is good lovin'.....

Glad it worked.

Posted by: Anne at February 4, 2013 4:00 AM

Doctor, doctor, Mr. MD, Won't you tell me what's ailing me? He said yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (etc.). What you need, what you really need, is good lovin'.....

Glad it worked.

Posted by: Anne at February 4, 2013 4:01 AM

Wow, that really waSn't worth posting twice!

Posted by: CM at February 4, 2013 7:44 AM

LOL, Anne.

I don't think I've ever seen a photo of the Purple House before. Wow, it was cute!

Posted by: Annie at February 4, 2013 7:58 AM

I love how you can see Lulu's current face completely in her newborn face...

Posted by: Salem's Little Sister at February 4, 2013 8:03 AM

The inside of that house was not cute!! That house was also where my big brother taught me how to shoot tequila at my freshman orientation and since that night, I've never had tequila again. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.

Posted by: cullen at February 4, 2013 8:29 AM

Salem's lil' sis, Tequila will make you give back stuff you didn't even steal...

Posted by: eric g. at February 4, 2013 9:01 AM

Ha! The sight of Parker's Checker Marathonin the Purple House parking lot brings back memories of what a miserable slumlord he was. Wasn't his son a soap opera actor or something? Maybe I made that up...

Posted by: Amy S. at February 4, 2013 3:21 PM

"Need for affirmation only eclipsed by desire not to be judged."

You're saying I can get rid of this by having a baby? Excuse me while I go get myself knocked up.

Posted by: amy a at February 5, 2013 5:34 PM

Hey, that's my old couch!

Had no idea that was the origin of your sinus troubles. But of course, it kinda makes sense: that
house had a certain amount of evil attached to it.

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