Godzilla 

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Director: Roland Emmerich
Cast: Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria, Maria Pitillo, Michael Lerner

I won't lie to you: the word-of-mouth surrounding "Godzilla" has been nothing short of bad. "It'll make $100 million the first week and disappear," the studio pundits say, but I think they're all on crack. "Godzilla" is not going to win the Nobel Peace Prize for literature, but it is a solid, stupid multiplex thriller and should sell a lot of popcorn. And if you shut off most of the major high-end functions in your brain, I promise that you'll enjoy yourself.

Matthew Broderick is a dorky scientist studying the effect of radiation on earthworms in the contaminated hills of Chernobyl. When a freak nuclear test spawns a demon lizard in French Polynesia, he is called in to investigate. Pretty soon, the giant amphibiobe has waded his way to Manhattan, and begins to wreck all of your favorite buildings: the Chrysler, the Met Life, even pissing off Knicks fans by trashing the Garden. Can Broderick, love interest Maria Patillo and lucky cameraman Hank Azaria help the army defeat the giant? My sources say yes! Really, one has to ask oneself: why is there a romance in here? "Godzilla" has won the award, folks, for Least Believable Love Interest—it is nothing short of nightmarishly bad. The chemistry between Broderick and Patillo has about as much chance as cold fusion; Patillo herself (usually a good, funny actress) is wasted in this whiny role as a namby-pamby girly-girl. All other relationships are a waste of time—pretty soon, the big picture-makers are either going to have to GIVE UP on making something human, or hire real writers.

The only believable character in this flick (besides the always-fantastic Hank Azaria) is the lizard, and the buildings he's destroying. Only about three of the shots look remotely fake; the rest are heart-poundingly accurate. The way Godzilla's tail takes out a floor of apartments, the way he swims into nuclear submarines, the awesome vibrations that erupt as all of the cars rumble in unison, even his heartbeat... this flick gives Titanic a run for the special-effects money. It's even genuinely funny at times, especially in the movie's feverish (and unexpected) last half hour, a romp through midtown that literally must be experienced to be believed.

Forget about the hype and get yourself some Goobers and a Coke; this one's a groaningly good thrill ride. With Harry Shearer and Doug Savant.

—Ian Williams

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