Masterminds

Director: Roger Christian
Cast:
Patrick Stewart
Vincent Kartheiser

Patrick Stewart continues his Summer of Villany (he's the antagonist in Conspiracy Theory, as well) as a "brilliant security- specialist-gone-bad" who takes over an elite private school to blackmail rich parents for money. The only person in his way is a 14-year-old kid (Vincent Kartheiser) who may be just as smart as his captor.

The problem with a movie that assumes that any of the characters are geniuses is that the movie itself has to be smart enough to tell the difference. Unfortunately for us (and poor Patrick Stewart, who is probably on the phone right now, firing his agent), this movie has the I.Q. of a swivel chair. Characters talk to themselves as a way of furthering the plot; the lines are hackneyed throwaways not even worthy of a junior high school creative writing assignment. Every element of the plot (escapes through heating ducts, timed explosions, elevator-shaft cliffhangers) was xeroxed from the first "Die Hard" movie in a way that should have director Roger Christian in a courtroom plagiarism dispute any day now. Avoid, avoid.

—Ian Williams

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